Venomous Snake (5)
I could feel Asena’s earnestness through my skin, but that didn’t mean I could accept it.
“…don’t say nonsense. Are you saying that I should get out of this war caused by my own problems?”
“……”
“I don’t fall for it. You know I can’t miss it.”
The moment the war was decided, he had no intention of just sitting in a safe place and taking command. I tried to wield my sword next to those who shed blood for me.
But Asena might have a different opinion than me, so I had to tell her what happens when I’m out of the war so she can understand.
Not only the modifier of cowardice, but also many stories will follow behind my already complicated circumstances.
In particular, the honor lost by escaping from war cannot be restored.
And when that happens, it’s not just me who’s being pointed at, it’s going to include the Frysters, my mate Daisy, and Judy as well.
That was unavoidable.
He didn’t even give Asena a choice in the first place.
“I am not here to ask for an opinion. You are giving notice.”
Asena’s head bowed.
She whispered in a voice that was barely audible, yet at the same time earnest.
“…I don’t like it…”
“…what you want to do and what you have to do are different.”
I said.
Wouldn’t it be more convenient if people could only live according to their heart’s desires without paying attention to others?
Asena, who had been holding my hand for a long time, took a deep breath.
Keep your head down and keep your back straight.
As if he had made a decision, he said in a slightly confident voice.
I think it was because she knew I wouldn’t be shaken.
“….Okay. I won’t stop you from going to war…”
Naturally, I nod my head.
“Instead, let me help you prepare.”
As she spoke, a power she had not seen recently hovered in her eyes.
I looked down at her.
Yes, the strength returned to my eyes…but my body could only say that it was still there.
slender arms and legs. thin neckline.
It was still a body that could not be overpowered.
“….no. You need to rest.”
This time it was my turn to object.
Even I couldn’t put her into the daunting pile of paperwork.
Obviously, my major wasn’t politics, so it must have been even more difficult, but Asena had to take a break anyway.
Did you know my heart like this, she says.
“…I won’t overdo it. I will only check the important things.”
“What the hell are you saying you’re still going to do? And then you fall down…? Am I just doing this for nothing?”
“…Really, brother. I won’t help you for a long time.”
Then she hits me.
“…I am not doing this just for my brother. I’m also going to help so many soldiers who will go to war. If I overdo it a little… I could save hundreds or thousands more…”
“……”
And I was shaken by her words. She must have known that I would say this.
“Why did I study? I worked hard to help at times like this.”
“…”
“…if I feel like I’m overdoing it, then go and rest. If I do that, I will go to rest without fussing.”
“….ha.”
“Please, brother. It’s our family war. It’s a war my brother… is participating in.”
I moved my eyes to Kirsi, who was beside me. There was still a light of anger in her eyes, but at the same time, I could sense her concern for me.
She also took Asena’s side and tried to persuade me.
I pondered…. I nodded weakly.
I wanted to give Asena a break, but I couldn’t really afford it. Despite my grandmother’s help, there were a lot of things to deal with, and it was too much for me, who had only learned the sword, to take on everything.
Even if Asena’s physical condition was not like this, she would have welcomed her help with open arms.
My clumsy attitude was easily broken.
Anyway, as she said, if it sounds like you’re overdoing it, you can just let him go to rest.
She only checked what was important, so there was no reason for me to insist anymore.
“…if I tell you to rest, you will rest right away.”
“…okay.”
As soon as those words fell, Asena tried to get out of bed, wondering what was so urgent.
I grabbed her shoulder and stopped her.
“Where are you going?”
“I’ll see you now.”
“not today. rest.”
“I’m fine now-“
“-If you don’t listen to your brother from now on, just don’t do it.”
“……”
At those words, Asena trembled. Then slowly start leaning back on the bed.
Of course, there was also telling her to take a break in the hopes that she would not physically abuse herself, but rather than that, there was still something to put mental pressure on her, so it stopped her.
She is already confused enough by the story of Sharon and the news of the war.
However, I thought it would be better to get rid of the bull horns, and to deliver all the news at once.
“…and, I haven’t finished talking to you yet.”
I speak more carefully than ever.
The twins look up at me.
Familiar, beautiful. Also, my younger brothers who loved me were blinking their eyes, waiting for my next words.
Look at them weakened. And when I think of their hearts, I think about what to say next…
I thought that I would find out someday anyway, so there was no need to delay any further.
“…Judy saved me. You know we’ve been staying here recently as our guests.”
“…Ju…D?”
Asena silently repeated her name, as if she were hearing it for the first time.
“…you didn’t know. Judy is here, Asena.”
She pondered the name for a moment, then looked at me in a hurry to see if she remembered something.
Perhaps, she remembered the promise she made with Judy.
I calmly told her, who seemed to have noticed.
“I think Judy will marry me too.”
“……”
“……”
The two freeze in place.
Other than that fact, I had nothing more to add.
I thought that any additional explanations that would come later would be stories they wouldn’t want to hear very much.
Asena couldn’t see me anymore.
For a long time there was silence between us.
She stares blankly ahead and mutters helplessly.
“…ah…so… Judy must have saved her brother…?”
“….okay. Judy helped.”
“…if I’m going to accept her heart because of the promise I made with Judy-“
“-It’s not like that. I have a heart.”
At the decisive fact, Asena’s eyes trembled.
But that was it. There was no anger or complaining about me like before.
Rather, he continued the conversation in a calm voice.
“……Anyway, thanks to Judy for helping my brother…”
“……”
“…….thanks…..”
“……”
She wrestled hard for a while, then snorted.
“…I should say thank you…”
Looking at her, I couldn’t figure out why I felt a blockage in my throat as if something was stuck in my throat.
There was no doubt that Asena’s gratitude was sincere.
At the same time, if you think about her feelings….it was not easy to bring out that natural feeling.
“…Then…you’re going to Daisy and…Judy?”
Asena’s quiet voice kept asking me questions. But not all of those questions were seeking answers to me.
They were just words that were spit out as if contemplating the situation.
“……Leaving me and…Kirsi….”
At that moment, Kirsi grabbed her chest.
“…ah…”
Kirsi’s eyes were blushing with a shocked expression.
Realizing that my gaze was on her, she shed tears at me in embarrassment, rubbed her eyes and smiled as if nothing had happened.
Then he hurriedly turned around and began to write on the paper he had brought, with a quill on the table.
Soon she gets out of bed and raises the paper, covering her face.
congratulation.
I couldn’t see Kirsi’s face as she spoke those words.
Only her sad laugh could be heard from behind the paper.
“……Ehehehe…”
After that, Kirsi quickly turns around and leaves the room.
Even though I was going to catch her, it was after I had said all the words I wanted to say.
…..Also, knowing that I would not be able to help her hurt, I had no choice but to remain helpless.
…..no. There was a way to do it. I’m just trying my best to turn my head away from it.
Kirsey smiled and said congratulations, but I knew better than anyone that that wasn’t her true intentions.
I continued to stare at the door where she had left, and shifted my gaze to Asena who was left behind.
During that brief moment, Asena’s expression became even stronger. It looked like he had promised something.
When our eyes met, she said.
“brother. I have something to say too.”
“…I’m listening.”
“……”
Her green eyes stared at me unwaveringly, but her mouth didn’t move either. What she was going to say, she hesitated for a long time.
“……yes?”
After I urge her once, she opens her mouth carefully.
“……I’m actually…”
Asena made eye contact with me like that, swipingly, avoiding her gaze.
“……I actually gave up on my feelings for my brother.”
“What?”
“I gave up. So… so don’t worry about it anymore.”
I also haven’t been able to get a proper response for a long time. It was the word I had been waiting for, but I didn’t expect to hear it this way.
It’s a sudden change, but in the first place, the mind is all like this.
First… he smiled slowly.
“…Yes…that’s right.”
I knelt in front of her and grabbed her hand, which was gathered in some places.
“Asena, you’ve thought it through, really.”
And praised her for making the decision. Asena still didn’t look at me, but she nodded and listened.
“…there will come a moment when I think it was a good choice. Well thought out, Asena.”
“…….yes.”
“Okay. All right…”
He still smiled and looked at her.
Because this was definitely something I had to do.
But…for some reason, I wasn’t as relieved as the expression on my face.
Rather, Asena’s expression represented my heart better.
I didn’t feel as happy as I had hoped for this situation.
Maybe she knew how she made this choice? If I count Asena’s heart, maybe it’s because my heart hurts as well. Or maybe I just can’t believe her words yet.
Or… is there another reason?
I just felt complicated emotions.
