“Why did you join a club that will disappear next year anyway? There are many other places.”
“Anyway, our teacher, Ji-hyun Ahn, doesn’t have a day when he doesn’t sound the candle. I thought it was a little brighter these days.”
“What did I say wrong? I’m just saying that, I just want to keep a closet where the sublingual is crumbling and don’t overdo it.”
“It will never happen.”
The hair that gives a neat and calm feeling, the eyes that are still lacking but have a slight tinge of light, and the skin that is full of color. And finally.
“I’m not that good, but I must do my best… … .”
The will, the voice of the will to live on this earth.
I doubted my ears. I mean, he was a completely different person than he was a few months ago.
“All right, boy! What interview did you come for? If you do the interview like that, you will fall off, it’s pretentious.”
“Oh, no. I really do.”
“sister! stop bullying me What is it that Jihyun oppa is saying to someone who says they’ll come in with a lot of effort? I’m really going to run away.”
That is, so… … It was very disappointing.
In the end, that person was no different from the topic of plausible words such as the meaning of an individual’s existence and propaganda.
Since the underlying values are not strong enough, they conform to the values of the world and imitate others.
“Dojin told me to stop talking to you too, Seolha. You decided to let us go.”
I hated having such a person by my sister’s side.
It was very disgusting to try to deceive my sister by pretending to be others by hiding their true nature like roadside pigeons courting females by inflating their poor body somehow. I’d rather be honest in the past.
“Anyway, those people are like people who don’t exist anymore, and the actual members are the three of us. Me, you, and the little girl.”
“I see.”
“Really, ‘that’s right’ is what ‘that’s right’. Don’t look at me like that, but give me a common name. We will have to keep looking.”
“Oh that. This is Yoo-jin. I wish you all the best in the future-”
“Why is that, Dojin-ah? Don’t speak suddenly. Did you have something on your face? if not… … ah! It’s ok, you can relax a bit. Heh, if it’s the first time we’ve seen our little girl, it could be.”
“Oh, no. like that, not like that. I think I saw it somewhere. I, maybe.”
He was really rude. I felt like I was the only one who remembered such a bunch of texts.
“… … I don’t remember meeting him.”
“Ah, sorry. I must have been mistaken. Anyway, I will continue to watch as you say, so please take care of me in the future. There may be some shortcomings, but I will work really hard.”
When I saw my older sister looking at such a man with kind eyes, it felt like my heart was pounding.
At that time, I felt a burning sense of duty to protect my sister, and I was making all kinds of excuses, but in the end, that would be it.
I was scared. I’m afraid I’ll lose my sister. I thought this was what rolling my feet was like.
Of course, if I had tried to force myself and somehow objected to the person coming in, my sister would have listened.
But then, what if I even look like my narrow-minded, immature younger brother? I always wanted to show my unnie only a good side.
I need to get that man out of my sister’s and my nest as soon as possible. It was only that thought. After that, I was really stubbornly harassed.
When your sister isn’t there, you dump the man’s chair in the nearby women’s restroom and then ask her to come, grab a weird pod and make you clean the club room all day by yourself, or cut it open every time you talk to your sister, or make a mistake. While stepping on one foot or the other.
Oh my gosh, even elementary school students these days wouldn’t be that childish.
But the man kept coming to the club room. I have to say that it is a momentum not to concede in anything, but I think it made me even more annoyed by that feeling.
“excuse me.”
There was a time when I couldn’t contain the anger that was rushing in me and spoke directly to my face.
“Yeah, if there’s anything I can do to help… … .”
“Usually, if you’re this mean, don’t you just go out on your own?”
“Yes?”
“I hate you. I hate it when you’re next to my sister.”
Hearing my words, the man quietly bowed his head without replying. It’s like a dog being struck by water.
“It’s ridiculous, do you know that I’m calling you to discipline you now? How long are you going to pretend you don’t know? Isn’t it time to understand by now?”
“… … .”
“Stop being a nuisance to your sister and get out of it, please. Because every time I see you waiting on the table, I feel like shit.”
Suddenly, a bright light began to shine in the man’s hazy eyes.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.”
“No, over there.”
“sorry.”
After that, he continued to say hello for a while, but the person kept saying he was sorry and didn’t want to leave the club room.
The next day, and the next day. When I woke up, the first semester was over.
I was tired and anxious. Hugging a pillow every night, a man like that anyway, sooner or later the bottom will be exposed, so it’s obvious that you’ll be hated by your sister… … Throwing away such self-consolation didn’t change anything.
“Sister, I hate that person.”
However, this feeling is not passed on to her sister. It will just go up the ceiling and ring for a while, then disappear by the flapping of the wings of a flying fly from somewhere.
Why doesn’t my sister know my heart? Why are you chatting with the liar man with such a funny expression even when I’m there?
If only I had been born a man… … .
yes man. as a man… … .
When I opened my eyes, it was morning. I cried and fell asleep. Thinking like that, I thought of last night and became sad again.
no no no no I went to the bathroom and turned on the faucet, slapped my cheek a few times with both hands.
Then, after sitting in front of the mirror and stroking my face, suppressing the feeling of vomit, for a few minutes, it was time to leave, so I hurriedly put on my clothes and ran to the subway station.
I regretted the whole subway ride. If I had finished my makeup sooner, I would have been able to choose clothes with a little more care. This time it really has to be perfect in every way… … .
I was stroking my face while looking at the screen of my cell phone with the anxiety that was pouring in, when I got a call from Nari unnie.
“hello.”
“Yeah, Garyun-ah, you know that the special lecture starts tomorrow, right? If you’re going to do it, you have to go by today. because of takeover. I’m sorry if it seemed like a rush, I called just in case you didn’t know.”
“Ugh, it’s okay. That’s what I did. Anyway, I was going now. Is your brother okay?”
“Yeah, it’s a lot better. Still, just in case you don’t know, I want to stay by your side. What would I really have done without you? … I will make sure to repay this favor later. If you have any difficulties or don’t know anything, call me.”
Remember? At that time, I decided to become an assistant lecturer at an art academy instead of Nari unnie.
I’m coming to say this now, but the truth is, I didn’t really want to do it. I wasn’t close with that person as much as my older sister, and I didn’t get any favors… … .
It was purely impulsive because I wanted to look pretty to my sister. Your sister was very sorry. I really want to help, but I can’t because I already have a part-time job. I wanted it back then.
“hello. What did you come here for?”
“Oh, he’s the one who decided to work. that… Instead of Na-ri Shin.”
“Ah, so… … Are you Ga-ryun Yu? Nice to meet you, the director will guide you about the facility and work, so please wait for a while.”
There was nothing difficult. There was no big difference between the facilities, the curriculum, and the academy I went to with my sister.
“… … So, starting this evening, I think you can learn by watching how it works. Do you have any questions?”
“No, it’s similar to the academy I went to when I took the entrance exam, so… … .”
“That’s fortunate. Still, Nari-sensei praised him a lot. He is a good person and has a good personality, so please take care of him. Hahaha, thanks to you, I saved an hour, really.”
“Ah, yes, thank you… … .”
That was the moment I was about to enter the classroom after signing the contract in the director’s office.
“The timing is amazing.”
I heard the elevator door open from behind and the manager said so.
“Dojin-ah, say hello. I am a teacher who will work with you during the special lecture period instead of Nari. Garyun-san, this is… … .”
I thought the sky was falling. Why is that man here anyway?
But even for a moment, I was more relieved than ever.
I’m glad, I’m really glad I came instead of my sister.
“… … In this way, if the students ask a question or if there is a part that needs a demonstration, please come forward and show it. Please note that the exam time is from 1:30 to 5:30, and dinner is one hour until 6:30. After that, the evaluation will proceed with scoring of the picture for about 30 minutes.”
“yes.”
“There will be moments when you want to feel frustrated, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be nervous. because… … .”
He looked at my face and was bewildered, but then he began to give me warnings as if he had done something.
“yes.”
I didn’t hear any. I didn’t even want to hear it. Because they weren’t even worth hearing in the first place.
Because, sister, think about it. The act of teaching something is not just reciting what you know. Basically, you have to be interested in other people.
From now on, you have to closely observe what you are going to teach and deliver information according to it… … .
But there’s no way that man could do that.
A selfless person who has no proper values, is busy copying others like a parrot, and has never even taken any interest in other people in his life.
At that moment, my plan of just teaching in moderation changed. At least I wanted to be a better instructor than this guy.
From the next day, I really clenched my teeth and went to work.
I arrived at the academy an hour before and did research work, analyzed popular techniques and trends while looking at the winning works of the practical skill contest, organized each student’s characteristics, and taught really hard based on that.
A child who lacks description goes out and demonstrates several times by himself, and a child who lacks a composition is constantly provided with materials.
But this is starting to get weird.
Even with the passage of time, I do not think that the shortcomings of the children will be fixed, and at some point, some children begin to sneak away from me one by one.
I thought something was going wrong. But I don’t know what to do.
I have no choice but to focus on preparing for class even more than I am now… … .
That was one day.
“What are you doing without eating?”
It was the man.
He knew that I was uncomfortable with him, so he always disappeared somewhere around mealtime and came to the classroom around class time, but he must have left something behind that day.
“Have you been like this all along? Skipping meals, alone in the classroom… … .”
“I just don’t like the taste of rice lately. It’s not a matter of concern for them.”
“All right. The rice is ready, so put down your brush and take a nap.”
“Children are also working hard while reducing their sleep, but what would they think if a teacher called the teacher was sleeping in the classroom?”
“… … All right.”
The man strode over and took the brush I was holding.
“No, what are you doing now?”
“Mr. Garyun.”
There was power in the man’s voice as he looked at me.
“I know he hates me. I also don’t want to meddle with people I don’t like.”
“I don’t understand why someone who knows that is doing this now.”
“It’s not just the two of us here.”
Until then, no matter what I said, I was fussing around like a foolish bear… … .
“Because you’ve done it once, you don’t know. How important is this time? It’s good to work hard, but if you fall, you’re ruining the lives of many children. Now there is no one to come in for me.”
“What do you fall for?”
“No, it looks bad.”
I was annoyed, but I couldn’t think of anything to say. The face reflected through the window behind the man was terrifying to me.
“Follow me. I will show you a place to rest.”
I quietly followed the man up the stairs of the commercial building. I didn’t want to hear that man even if he died, but I hated it more because it felt like I was losing something because I was stubborn and collapsed.
“Where are you going, now?”
“… … Obviously I told you on the first day, but somehow I thought you wouldn’t come.”
That’s because I wasn’t listening to what you said.
The man took a deep breath as if he had guessed it, and opened the door on the roof.
Unknown flower beds and trees were densely laid out on the freshly stretched grass. It looked like a small botanical garden for a month, and it was really beautiful.
The man strode along the long pergola on the right and sank into a pavilion at the end of the garden.
“Can’t we just go in?”
“The owner of this building is the director. It’s like a resting place for our teachers.”
that… … It was a pavilion with a design that looked cheap enough to make me feel like a fool who thought this place was beautiful a while ago.
It looked like it came straight out of some old apartment complex.
“I know. I say it all the time, but you insist on liking this.”
“Who says what?”
I sat down opposite the man who was making a pleading argument. It was still disgusting to be with him, but it was raining that day.
Tuk -tuk, tuk -tuk, and falling water droplets, a nasty smell that resembles the smell of soil comes out, and it was great. Is it because I just smelled the paint stinging my nose lately?
Anyway, I thought I’d like to smell it a little more.
… … lily.
… … Mr. Garyun.
“Garyun-san, wake up. Class will start soon.”
“Hey!”
My eyes lit up. At some point I fell asleep. A huge lake was created in the apron I was wearing.
The man opened his mouth as he held out a few tissues to me.
“I’ll be there first, so get organized and come down slowly.”
It felt like my face was on fire. This guy really doesn’t care about me at all. To this person, I’m probably worse than the dregs of an eraser rolling on the floor of the classroom.
But what was it that I was so concerned about this person getting so hot and biting his teeth so tightly? Then eventually he collapsed and almost caused trouble even to innocent students.
“Is that all?”
“Yes?”
Even though I knew it at the time, somehow I couldn’t just admit it.
I had no choice but to struggle ugly, thinking that all this process was a trap that the man set up to fool me.
“If you have something to say, please don’t say it like this.”
“Well what are you talking about… … .”
“I, I can’t. Like you said, I’m ruining an important time. You know that, isn’t that what you’re doing right now?”
“Yes? What is it that Ga-ryun can’t do?”
He looked at me with a genuinely bewildered expression on his face.
“No, that. I don’t think the kids’ skills will get any better, and the number of people who hate me is getting bigger and bigger.”
“The children’s skills are steadily improving… … ? No, you’ve seen Garyun-san too, haven’t you? This morning, the director was smiling broadly saying that this year is really worth looking forward to.”
I didn’t see it. Because I had no interest in giving to such a place.
“Oh, no. Test scores have been at a standstill lately, aren’t they?”
“That’s because the director selects only difficult subjects and practices them. It’s a special lecture for that. Rather, it’s great to keep it in place instead of going down.”
“It feels like the number of questions is increasing day by day rather than decreasing.”
My sister and I have never been like that. I think I drew it well without the help of the teacher.
“Originally yes. If you can apply what you have learned once by yourself, no one will suffer. Ga-ryun-san, you draw so well, you may not have known about it.”
“Even so, the kids avoid me. Obviously there is something I am doing wrong.”
“Ah, that.”
Sometimes there are kids like that. I am ashamed to approach you. That face is really beautiful… … No, because you are excellent.
If there was a mouse hole, it was so shameful that I wanted to go in right away. There are times when I still remember that moment, but every time I do, no blankets remain.
It was me who was not interested in other people. I’m also irresponsible.
Come to think of it, all I knew about this man was his looks, his voice, and a five-page text… … .
With only those things, I’ve been pretending to be a good person, what is that person’s nature, what’s wrong with his personality.
“If I had known that you were thinking that way, I would have told you sooner.”
“… … It’s okay, it’s my fault for not saying anything and making a weird mistake by myself and grunting.”
I was really ashamed.
Sister, since when did I become such a naughty child?
“Anyway, let’s go down.”
“Come on, wait a minute.”
Maybe I’m just too used to being silly with my sister.
“I… … I hate you to death.”
“That’s it, I can’t help it.”
“But I’m not going to justify playing around with that as an excuse. I will learn properly, and if there is something I do not know, I will ask properly. Like you said, it’s not just the two of us here. And, and that’s it. So.”
“It’s okay, let’s go now. I’m really late for this.”
“Yes Yes… … .”
As I followed the man like that, I suddenly felt sorry for him. Until that moment, the smell of rain lingered in my nose.
Even if you come again tomorrow, it won’t rain. The smell must be gone.
But come again tomorrow. I don’t know if it will rain or not, but let’s go up first.
As if answering my prayer, the rain did not stop from the sky until the end of the special lecture after that day.
