Chapter 73 – Tears Melted Into Scars (1)
“Rope.”
“…”
Rebecca called me by name without saying anything else. That alone made her feel the fear welling up in her eyes. I don’t know who those feelings are for. Whether it’s about me Or is it about the situation itself?
Is it about yourself, not knowing what you’re going to do in the future?
When my thoughts reached that point, I unknowingly spit out a word.
“Don’t even dream.”
“…”
“Rather than that, I need to disinfect the wound. Please bring the disinfectant quickly.”
“Yes. Got it.”
She nodded heavily and quickly opened the bag. I snatched the medicines from her hand and approached Haru.
“Haru. There’s still a little bit left to do. Are you okay?”
“…Do I really have to do it now?”
“Yes. I have to do it now.”
“Is it so…”
The voice that came out weakly rested heavily on her chest. It almost sounded like the sound of someone dying in a hospital bed. Saya laid her day on her own lap as a pillow and wiped the sweat from her face.
But she just couldn’t wipe it all off. It wasn’t because she was sweating too much, it was because Saya’s tears kept running down Haru’s cheeks. She tried to feel the touch all day long, and she told boring jokes.
“I’m not dead yet, sister. You can take the sword beforehand, though. It won’t be of any use anymore.”
“…”
“Or I’ll have to sell it to a pawnshop. Is there anyone left to run it?”
“Day.”
In this situation, I wanted to scold him, saying, “What kind of crazy joke is that?” But I just couldn’t do it. Instead of adding pointless nonsense, I took a deep breath and cleared my mind.
“The day. Let’s start.”
“Does it hurt…?”
“Huh.”
“It’s been a great day.”
Was this even a joke? One day, he smiled faintly. But soon, that smile was shattered without a trace.
“Whoa…”
“…”
“Whoa… Uh…”
“…”
“Aaaaa…!”
Eventually, the screams broke out and he had to be gagged again. The legs that couldn’t overcome the pain kicked the air and let out resentment. Still, I couldn’t stop. If left as it is, germs will eat away at the wound.
“Keeeee!!!”
“…”
Meanwhile, the screams of the hatchlings continued. The night of slaughter that began at the same time as the birth. At the edge of that bloody hour, I had to hold on to the blind girl’s face and pray to God several times.
The commotion subsided after a full day. The hatchlings may have grown tired of preying on their own kind, so they scattered around in search of other prey. We waited for the sound of their massive footsteps to recede before we finally got out of the hole.
Then, the pitch-black night sky welcomed us. Even the stars didn’t appear properly in the sky we hadn’t seen in a long time, so if we rubbed the bridge of our noses, instead of sweat drops, it seemed that soot from the night would come out. And going through the darkness was harder than I thought.
But somehow I had to find a place to rest. Has a roof there is a floor A tidy building with at least one clean bed.
The place I entered was a small academy building. It was a small place with only two classrooms to call it an academy, but it was as good as the infirmary. I lay in bed carefully for the day and took a weary breath.
“Buy it. In case there are medicines around…”
“No. It must have already been stolen.”
“I guess so.”
Should I move it somewhere else? But now it’s been a day to move again, and I was too tired. Eventually, I threw my backpack on the floor and sat down on it.
“Ha…”
“Lope. This is…”
“I can’t help it. Moving more is impossible for Haru now.”
I raised my weary eyes and looked at the condition of the day. She moaned in pain all the way here, and as soon as she lay down on the bed, she lost her mind. I couldn’t tell if he was asleep or passed out.
And above all, I didn’t think the heat would go down on my forehead. That’s never a good sign. If there is an infection…
…
“Rope.”
“…”
In the meantime, Rebecca called my name as if she was trying to say something. But as soon as I let go of my ugly eyes, I couldn’t speak anymore.
“I am…”
“…”
“I… Go out and see if there’s anyone else.”
Eventually, Ms. Rebecca couldn’t stand this situation and she headed outside. Normally, she would have said thank you, but she didn’t have the heart to do that. As soon as I heard the sound of the door closing, I lowered my head.
Then the beads of sweat that had gathered between her hair dripped to the floor. I’ve been through a lot, but I’ve never been more distracted than this. And it will be the same for everyone here.
Especially in the case of Rebecca, it may be even worse. After all, it was entirely her opinion that she asked me to come here. Of course, we all followed that decision, but the guilt was always on the person who suggested it.
But she couldn’t afford to waste her sympathy on her. Because I couldn’t save the day either. Because I was the one who stayed by her side until the end. If I were to weigh only the weight of my guilt, I couldn’t help it. If only I had realized earlier.
If only my arm had been cut off rather than a day.
…
…This is also very selfish. If my arm had been cut off, Haru would have struggled with guilt instead of me. In the end, nothing changes.
No matter how hard she tried, there was no way out of her self-loathing. Saya was holding her face in her corner as if she was thinking the same thing.
It was a night I couldn’t get out of. It was like that for all of us.
“…Seniors.”
“…!”
Then a low voice came from behind. When I urgently turned my head, Haru was fiddling with the bed sheet with my free hand.
“What is this place?”
“It’s the academy infirmary. I don’t know where exactly this is. It’s such a small place.”
“Somehow it smelled familiar.”
Even though I couldn’t afford it, Haru smiled. Then he stretched out her legs as if to stretch her.
“Ugh … It’s sore. Where is Saya-unnie? Didn’t she suddenly go somewhere?”
“I’m here for the day.”
“Don’t talk like that. She’s not dead yet. What about Rebecca?”
“Miss Rebecca…”
“Okay. You must be fooling around somewhere again.”
Where are you fooling around? Only one day could dismiss all the problems so simply. No matter what happened, she seemed to be able to get over this guy without hesitation.
But she only seemed that way. No matter how much I pretend to be okay, in the end, I’m just an ordinary girl for a day. Even younger than me. Even the fact that her arm had been cut off had no way she could get over it so easily.
“Ha… Damn it.”
“…”
“It’s going to be hard to hold the sword anymore, right?”
“That…”
“That’s right. It’s because the hand holding the sword was cut off. And why did he have to get a pattern on top of that? Unlucky.”
“…I know.”
“I really have to give the knife to a pawnshop. Or buy it and give it to my sister. She’s worse than me, but she’s in her own way… Shit.”
Stupid tone as always. But this time, it couldn’t end without incident. Something that had been locked in his heart rose up in Haru’s throat.
“Seniors.”
“Yeah. One day.”
“…Sorry.”
In the end, words that shouldn’t have come out of Haru’s mouth poured out. I leaned her head against the bed she lay on and shook her head.
“I told you not to say that.”
“But anyway, I’m sorry. It’s true that you got more tired because of me. And above all, I feel so sorry for Saya unnie. Originally, I had to protect her. Isn’t it only right for someone with bloody hands to keep cutting her? .”
“Day…”
“Rogeria. I should have killed that woman too. But I had to buy it, so I passed it on to my sister. I’m still very sorry about that. She sometimes appears in her dreams too.”
“That’s not Haru. Rather, I…”
“Ah. Stop crying and come here. Give me a hug.”
One day she suddenly stretched out her remaining arm. Then, as Saya approached, she wrapped her arms around her neck. Even though it was a half hug, the heart did not cool down.
“Hey. I never thought that the half-elf I’d always hugged. A blue bird was meant to be right next to me. I think I’ve achieved all my wishes in this life with just this.”
“You haven’t met a real elf yet. Haru.”
“We’ll meet that someday. But what if those elves aren’t as good as Saya-san? Then they’ll have to live with me for the rest of their lives.”
“I am…”
“Don’t even say anything you can’t take responsibility for. It’s okay, show me your cheek.”
Haru smiled mischievously and kissed Saya’s cheek so that it made a squeak. Then this time she stretched out her arm towards me.
“I’m jealous of you again. Now, come here. Let’s smell it after a long time.”
“A day. You can just rest.”
“Ah, the rest of the arm will also fall off like this. They told me to come quickly.”
I finally bowed her back to her, unable to meet her demands of the day. Then, very thin arms wrapped around my neck.
“My sunbae-nim is very skinny. It doesn’t feel like the old days.”
“What is that old feeling?”
“Only I know. More than that, senior. Is Saya still by your side?”
“Yeah. But why?”
“No, just. Because I am sick to death, I think of this and that. At times like this, I thought I would think of uneaten meals, but strangely, I think of unfulfilled dreams.”
“For example?”
“Well, kissing a man?”
Haru’s voice was low. The boy twitched his lips for no reason, then whispered in a quieter voice.
“But no one did it. People say that the scars are terrible or something. I heard that kissing is done with your eyes closed anyway, but it’s really too much.”
“They’re stupid guys.”
“Right. I need to find a man who’s either blind like me or has a crush on me to the point where he doesn’t care about scars. But what to do? You’re neither.”
“Day…”
“But I’m selfish, so I’m going to tell you a lie from now on.”
One day, I raised my only hand and covered my eyes. Although it was a small palm, it was enough to cover this narrow field of vision. Over the darkness that had been so warmly visited, a split whisper was heard.
“From now on, answer my questions with lies. But it will be easy. The answer will always be ‘yes’.
“Okay, I get it.”
“Great.”
Haru laughed in satisfaction at my answer. Then he tapped my eyes and asked.
“Senior. Am I cute?”
“Haha…”
“Yeah. I should have said that. I’d be lying.”
“…Huh.”
Laughter like tears leaked out at the random question. But one day, he slapped me on the neck and continued to ask similar questions.
“Senior. Am I pretty?”
“Huh.”
“Senior. Are you going to live with me for the rest of your life?”
“Huh.”
“Seniors.”
“Huh.”
…
“I. Do you like it?”
The last word came out after a long hesitation. According to the rules, I had to answer with a lie this time too. So I lied with sincerity.
“…No.”
“You should have answered yes.”
“Sorry.”
“I’ll kiss you as punishment, so do it yourself.”
“It’s unrelenting.”
“But you have to buy your lips because it’s your sister’s…”
At that time, Haru’s hand, which was covering his eyes, slipped down. Instinctively, I tried to open my eyes, but at that moment, rough lips were overlaid on my eyelids. It was an awkward kiss that was careful, but there was no hesitation. It flowed down without even realizing it, like flower petals that landed on a spring day.
“…I’ll take care of it like this. Okay?”
“Day…”
“I won’t do it anymore. I don’t want to have a first kiss in a place like this.”
“…”
“First kiss…”
One day, I suddenly laughed. And then, he held me deeply in my arms again.
“Now it’s like that. I thought I’d die without seeing it for the rest of my life. I told you at the academy, but what am I going to do with an idiot like me living far away? I really wanted to give up and die when the time came.”
“I won’t let that happen.”
“Yes. Everything was ruined because of you. To be honest, even when I received the pattern at that time, I was worried about who I should hand it over to.”
“…”
“But why? I can’t think of that anymore. I don’t have any symbols anymore, so I think it’s only right to die comfortably. But really, that shouldn’t be the case. Strangely, as time goes by…”
At that moment, Haru’s eye patch was wet. Emotions that should not be buried stuck to the fake eyes that were forcibly drawn. And in the end, warm tears flowed between them.
“…I want to live more and more.”
