Chapter 149 – Regret
I managed to suppress the rapidly rising anger.
After knowing the truth, my heart beats so much that it hurts. Breathing becomes irregular like a patient with hyperventilation, and the field of vision spins and scatters in disarray.
‘What the fuck is this?’
Han Ye-rin was blocking Seo-ha from returning home. She grabs her heart that is about to explode and forcibly pulls her body up. Even though she looks like she’s about to explode. She somehow gathers her breasts and gathers at her waiting area to return her cell phone.
“Whoa…”
He thumps her chest and returns her items. She worries that the professor is embarrassed and that she is okay. She shakes her hand roughly and takes her seat. She feels the cold wind blowing along today.
“Are you here?”
“…”
Right next to her, Han Ye-rin sits down.
What is so happy about that smiley expression. I want to argue why he did that with his head stuck in a tree right now. The feeble remaining reason hinders action.
“Write- whoa…”
Close her eyes She organizes her thoughts step by step.
She was able to return to Korea sooner than later. No, yes. Since the person called my father hates me very much, let’s say it’s not a long time ago. That doesn’t mean she can’t hold back her anger.
‘This fucker is real…!’
Awkward – Grinding my teeth to the point where it hurts. The professor’s words, the sound of the wind, everything mixes and tangles to be heard as one. Only a humming noise lingers and fills her semicircular canals.
“Are you okay?”
“…”
Han Ye-rin looks at me with worried eyes. No, it’s not okay at all Everything went wrong because of this fucking love right in front of me.
“…Yes.”
Words say so. First of all, you need to calm down. Since the search practice is right around the corner, I can’t openly fuck here as long as this bitch is on the same team. The search practice is just as important, and it is absolutely necessary for the goal.
‘Think calmly.’
Forced to breathe Following the professor’s instructions, I forcibly raised my staggering body, causing the world to spin around and make me dizzy.
I’ve never hit another person in my life, and this is the first time I’ve felt such a strong urge.
Can’t hit Even if Han Ye-rin doesn’t step forward, she uses her hand from the other side, so even if Han So-jung doesn’t come back for a while, her god So-yu won’t stand still. Even when her heart is full of emotions, her cold head brings reality to a heap. If you use violence, you will be cut off from your lifelong goals. I can’t stand that much.
‘What’s left in the end.’
To distance yourself from Han Ye-rin with all your might. Over the past week, I have experienced countless times how much Han Ye-rin is obsessed with me and how much she relies on me. Now all you have to do is put it into action.
No, I can’t stand it without moving. Whether viewed rationally or emotionally, I don’t want to maintain a horizontal relationship with Han Ye-rin anymore. To put it bluntly, I want to cut ties.
Follow the professor’s instructions and enter the forest. Wear the wristwatch assigned to each of them, and let’s pass the time.
Soon after, the test begins.
*
*
*
These days are always full of happy things.
Is it because Taeho is by his side? Is it because Taeho treats me like a friend? The feeling of shaking off the master-servant relationship between dog and owner and starting over from the beginning.
Every day was romantic. It is natural for the corners of the mouth to rise naturally. When I see Taeho, I can’t control my beating heart. When our eyes meet, even for a moment, our breath stops. Whenever that happens, my lips itch because I want to express my feelings.
‘Because I’m happy… I feel like I’m going to die of happiness!’
The feeling of approaching without hesitation step by step in the relationship that I hoped for so much. The happiness I wished for came true all week long. Can’t control emotions Sometimes, when our hands touch each other and our arms brush, our cheeks blush to the limit because we can’t hold back our joy.
Been like that for a week…
“…”
No matter what happened in that moment, the rapidly cooled face stared into the sky. Conversely, the blood vessels in his red-hot eyes are bursting, and you can tell that he is insane just by looking at his chin.
For 15 minutes after the test started, they didn’t mix the proper words once, only repeating search, search, search.
When I ask if he’s okay, he doesn’t answer. I don’t talk at all except to occasionally tell me the location of monsters and help with practice. What happened… I’m sure. I’ve been watching Tae-ho ever since I came to the academy, but it’s the first time I’ve seen such a hard expression.
Worried.
I worry as much as I love you. It’s good to expect a little more by my side… But when that happens, I always politely decline.
“If anything happens, I’ll help you.”
“It’s okay.”
He speaks in a harsh tone as if he is shooting. Except for the wind and the fallen leaves sweeping the floor, in a forest full of only silence and silence. The conversation that went on for a while is cut off.
The wind cuts into the awkward current. The fluttering leaves tickle my ankles. The sky is getting dark little by little as the sun sets. Keep going, keep going like this.
“Is there something… Something that doesn’t work out?”
“No. No.”
Taeho gritted his teeth and briefly pounded his chest with his fist. It’s a lie.
“I’m worried. Tell me what’s going on, please, please…”
Grab the sleeve My heart is pounding. It’s been a while, but our eyes meet. The overflowing emotions are conveyed as they are.
“It’s okay.”
Again, rejected.
“…”
“…”
Again, silence.
Catch the monster in the middle, flip the boat over, and take out the crafted magic stone. It’s a little hard to adapt to seeing how he roughly rips and kills monsters. Did you search again for a while? I couldn’t stand it and grabbed Taeho’s wrist.
“If you’re having a really, really hard time, I’ll help you too. Since before, your expression isn’t good… I’m taking a break.”
“No, no, it’s okay. You don’t have to.”
Taeho looks at me and smiles wide. Halfway through the exam. The rising sunset paints the sky red.
“Are you okay…?”
“Don’t worry too much. It’s bitter… Whoa. Did you catch a lot of monsters?”
“Yes, yes? Ma, I caught a lot.”
“I’m glad you did well.”
Taeho suddenly strokes my hair. Unlike usual, his hair turns half-shaggy at the slightest rough movement. A little, a feeling of suppression. Whoa, is it back to normal? It’s okay right? Is that right?
“Ji, is it really okay?! I was really worried…”
“Because it’s fine.”
Taeho laughs. It looks like a bit of a forced smile, but it looks okay… I’m glad. Let out a sigh of relief. It feels like a relationship that has been strained is finding its place.
“Let’s find it. We haven’t found that many yet. We need to find it as soon as possible. Seol-ah went to the east, so don’t go there. He probably wiped out most of the monsters by himself.”
“Oh, yes. Yes!”
Taeho opens the bag.
“It’s not bad, but it’s still not enough. So don’t hesitate and worry unnecessarily like that, catch one more, okay?”
“Yes…!”
Thank god. The troubled mind becomes calm like a lake. Back to normal… A smile that seemed forced and didn’t seem to be made came across Taeho’s lips. When I see such a smile, I can’t control my beating heart.
Even the cold Tae Ho is good enough to melt the womb. Also, smiles are the best. When Taeho laughs, I laugh too.
In the time that flows endlessly, the sun also lowers its head endlessly.
The bag was filled with magic stones one after another, and it became heavy in an instant. Taeho, who had returned to normal, started talking with me. I’m so happy, I can’t seem to get out of my hair.
I want to do that.
As time passes, the worries from earlier melt away and happiness fills the void. When that happens… I want to convey this feeling that I still haven’t conveyed.
It’s something I’ve never done before.
At least once… I want to say ‘I love you’ to Taeho. I want to tell you a little bit of my heart.
“Taeho.”
“Huh?”
Each other facing each other
Usual voice. I’m sure you’re back, my heart beats once again. I try to avert my gaze. Her cheeks turned red, and her lips opened.
“I love you.”
Heart confession.
“…”
“I just, uh, I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time.”
There is nothing else. I just wanted to convey this feeling a little bit. Holding on to my pounding heart, I slowly raise my head-
Uh?
“…”
In front of my eyes, there is anger.
Grinding his teeth as if he were about to break, he looked at me. A thin vein rises from his forehead, and his face is burning with refined anger that has been suppressed.
“Hey, there are things you must say and there are things you shouldn’t say. What the fuck? I love you?”
Rage overflows and heads this way. My eyes flash open, and my mouth opens stupidly in embarrassment. Now, wait, Tae-ho… Hey?
“Now, wait…”
Taeho throws his bag on the ground and comes towards me.
“Then, did you stop my girlfriend from returning home because you loved her? This, fuck… Hey, Han Ye-rin. Answer me. You blocked my girlfriend from returning to Korea, right?”
Bewildered My head doesn’t work properly, maybe it’s shorted. Mi, I have to apologize that I’m sorry-
“That, that’s-“
“I know even if you don’t say it, damn you! You, you blocked it! Did you think I wouldn’t know? You, fuck- you were blocking the way I was able to come back from behind!”
I knew everything, everything. The shock doesn’t turn the head well.
“I can’t eat anymore, I can’t eat anymore. Being next to you is disgusting, everything is disgusting.”
When the word “Disgusting” Comes up, my heart is pounding like crazy, and my eyesight scatters here and there in distraught. The pounding heart is transformed into painful enough to ache, and tears begin to form around the eyes.
The relationship begins to twist in an irreversible direction.
“Mi, sorry, sorry Taeho…”
“Shut up your mouth. Don’t pretend to be sorry. You treated me like a dog and took me around as a farmhand, and acting as innocent and pitiful is fucking stupid, so damn it, just don’t say anything.”
Originally, it wasn’t like this… Happy, happy to go back. Again, like friends… I just did it. All, all, ruined. Realize your position once again. That I was just a disgusting owner.
“Tae-tae-ho…”
“I’m sick of trying to be friendly with anything I’ve done so far and I’m going crazy. Don’t make an image like this. You’re going to vomit. What, fucking love?”
The more the words repeat, the more my heart aches. Her vision is already blurry with tears, and her head shakes as if it will break. Everything, everything is my fault It’s my fault that I stopped her girlfriend, she said she loved me without knowing the subject, it’s my fault.
It’s my fault for bothering Taeho all this time.
I’m sorry, Mi, I’m sorry, Taeho…
Can’t get it out Her heart feels like it’s going to break. Ah, ah… Please, please.
“Looking at your face right now sucks, but don’t put love in your mouth.”
Taeho grabs my shoulder. Her breathing becomes irregular, and tears flow down and down in her passion.
Let Taeho let go of his hand. Kneeling on his ground as if collapsing. Everything, everything falls apart
“Don’t get out of my sight again. It’s disgusting.”
In front of my eyes… Don’t stand out?
Never?
“Tae, Taeho! Taeho, Mi, I’m sorry… I’m sorry, Taeho…! I, I was wrong, my, please…!”
You have to catch it right now. Right now, I must say I was wrong…! I, I said I did everything wrong, please, please don’t leave me, I have to hold on… Right now, I have to apologize, apologize.
Please, Taeho, I was wrong…! I did everything wrong Acting like a dog, having a human chair, making you lick your feet, everything, everything was wrong…
From start to finish, everything. It’s my fault.
You have to get down on your knees right away, hit your head right now, and apologize in front of Taeho.
Apologies, I have to…!
Tae-ho, Tae-ho is getting farther away. Carrying the bag on his back, he descends down the already dark mountain valley and disappears before my eyes.
A maddening feeling of remorse rushes like a torrent. My whole body feels like it’s about to collapse. I forcibly lifted my staggering body and ran toward Tae-ho, who was moving away. It’s dark, dark, I can’t see… I can’t see it.
“Mia, Mia-nae, Tae, Tae-ho…! Everything, everything, I was wrong. Please… Please…”
Please don’t leave
Please please…!
My eyes groan, and I can’t see anything. My heart is pounding like it’s going to explode, and my lungs are shrunken, so I can’t breathe properly. My head hurts as if it were cracking, my legs trembled, and my hands had no strength, so I couldn’t grab a single tree branch.
“Sorry, sorry…! Taeho, Taeho, where… Are you. Please, come back…! I, was wrong. I, all of me…”
The stumbling bridge collapses. The sound of footsteps stops, and I kneel on the ground as if collapsing.
“Ah ah ah ah ah…”
Have left I have to apologize right now… I, I’m sorry, Taeho… Please, please…
“Ahhh…”
My throat hangs. In the tears that constantly come out, my vision is, over and over, over and over, blurred. It feels like everything, everything, everything is blurring. Nobody, nobody, so, now…
Right now, I just cry and cry.
Remorse squeezed her chest.
