Chapter 34 – Pathology
Time passed again like flowing water.
After giving herself up to the urge and beating Viola the other day, Violetta’s anxiety worsened day by day.
“Sorry sorry……. I really didn’t mean to……”
“Your Highness, I’m really fine. Stop now.”
She repeated her apology to Viola several times, but only replied, ‘It’s okay’. No matter how I looked at it, it was a polite answer, so I couldn’t feel comfortable.
After that incident, she developed a strange sense of indebtedness, and she could no longer punish her even if Viola openly masturbated to her. She was also afraid that she would give in to the impulse and resort to violence.
She was waving her fists in the first place, saying she didn’t like the way she masturbated. Isn’t she a more vulgar human figure than a woman who masturbates or masturbates? I’m not that kind of person. Violetta scratched herself several times a day.
Do you know what is even more disastrous? At that time, Viola even hugged Violetta even though she herself was beaten. She is different from herself, who uses violence or wields just because she is a little pissed off.
Her level her as a human being was different. What would she be like if she was the same even after being brainwashed?
He even felt disillusioned with himself for ridiculing and dismissing such a dedicated person as a horned monkey.
‘Why am I like this…….’
No mother, no father, no other family members. There was no one around her to swing her fist at her, saying she was just stressed out.
In the Age of Civilization, violence was one of the most primitive acts. Something closer to the behavior of a beast than a human. The fact that it was being expressed outside was proof that reason was collapsing.
I acutely feel that humanity is slowly but surely being destroyed. And so, whenever Violetta looked down at her own hands, she could n’t help but feel her fear of her. She had the back of her hand her throbbing like a phantom barrel every night. The back of her hand that had mercilessly beaten and wounded others …….
‘Maybe I’m a very bad person.’
Because she left her government and politics alone, she had a lot of time to reflect on herself.
There was plenty of time to reflect on her past her.
If Violetta had become a great saint or philosopher, she would have been able to relieve her pain through her reflection of her, but she was not such a great person. Her ordinary girl couldn’t bear it because she felt so ugly whenever she thought back on the past.
The feeling of falling into the abyss of hell.
The swamp of self-reproach that she once began to fall into was endless.
“…….”
Suddenly, she saw a mirror in her eyes. She was a mirror that appeared in my field of vision at all times, as if she had no intention of hiding the fact that she was an illusion.
What she sees in her mirror is what she thinks of herself. An ugly shape with no trace of beauty remaining, distorted and ruined. The mirror is full of cracks, and Violetta in it is twisted and misaligned along the cracks.
Sometimes when she came to her senses her, she unconsciously found herself holding her face and sobbing.
“Flaw…”
Sometimes she burst out with silly laughter, but when she laughed and shed tears, she felt even more miserable.
Emotional state where she jumps around every time as if something is broken.
Indeed, it seemed that the appearance was serious even for others to see.
One day, Ellie asked seriously.
“Unnie, nothing really happened…… ?”
Violetta stared at her and replied that she was fine.
Ellie didn’t believe it.
She said, “Before, you shut yourself up in your room and don’t even come out. Everyone is not alone in worrying. I won’t tell anyone else. Can’t you just tell me…… ?”
“…….”
“We are a family from the same boat. Different from other siblings. My sister is my one and only sister. There is nothing to hide from each other, and there is no fault…… Isn’t she a sister?”
Of course, Violetta did too. To her, Ellie was her one and only sister her and her family her. Different from her other half-brothers…….
“…….”
But Violetta eventually chose her silence her.
How ugly a person she is. She is afraid that if she reveals her truth her, even Ellie will leave her her.
Of course, it was an irrational concern. Violetta knew very well that Ellie couldn’t be like that. But understanding and practice are separate areas.
“Ha…”
Ellie sighed as Violetta shut her mouth.
Violetta trembled and looked into Ellie’s eyes.
Momentary silence.
Ellie looked pitifully at her sister her, who shook like a feral cat, then she quietly opened her mouth.
“I can’t help it if I don’t want to say it, but…… Well. Okay. Then, why don’t her sisters try her hobbies?”
“…… Hobby?”
Violetta asked.
When her sister finally seemed to show interest, Ellie continued with a bright smile.
“Yes. You know I’m learning to play an instrument, right? It helped her find peace of mind. So, if her sister is having a hard time, why don’t she have a hobby like that?”
“Instrument…”
“Even if it’s not necessarily an instrument. Whether embroidering or painting. Anything would be nice if I could find peace of mind.”
A word that feels a bit vague.
Ellie talked with Violetta a little longer and then went back.
Violetta pondered her words for a long time after Ellie had left.
“It’s a hobby…….”
When it comes to hobbies, nothing really comes to mind. At least, I was a little interested in the instrument Ellie was learning.
‘It was probably a wind instrument.’
Unlike Violetta, who had focused on educating her successor since childhood, Ellie was a child who could not concentrate on one thing. Hobbies and instruments to learn also changed from time to time, but according to the most recent situation, it seemed that I was learning some kind of wind instrument.
To say it’s recent, it’s already been a few months.
Even though she has a personality that doesn’t stick to one place, she used to learn at least a year when she started learning, so she’s probably still learning the same instrument she heard then.
“Together… Shall I ask you to try it?”
Violetta murmured softly.
In fact, it was nice to know what instrument Ellie was learning.
She just wants to do something with Ellie.
Even a brief conversation with her family seemed to give Violetta a strange boost.
Sometimes people are comforted by insignificant things.
***
Next day.
“Oh…… Haha… Whoops! Whoa!”
As usual, a man who came out of nowhere made fun of Violetta’s body in her.
I’m going to have a good time…… Squeak, squeak…….
“Does your body seem to be very sensitive these days? Do you feel good, my fingers?”
“It’s noisy, it’s noisy…… !”
Violetta bit her lip.
It was as the man said. Lately, Violetta has been getting used to male sexual abuse. It wasn’t too hard to accept the cock with my butt anymore, and I used to get a strange tickling feeling when my whole body was caressed.
Perhaps Viola’s masturbation, which continued every day, was gradually showing its effect. The fact that the man massaged her body without a break must have had a significant impact.
‘I feel like my body is changing…….’
And that wasn’t all. Recently, as the stress piled up, her appetite and sexual desire her had intensified, perhaps because of that, whenever she was harassed by a man, her pussy her kept flinching and begging him to relieve her accumulated sexual desire properly.
“Ah…….”
Violetta pursed her lips and suppressed the leaking sound. Not because I want to endure pain, but because I don’t want to find out that I don’t feel pain.
“Shall we do this for today?”
After a long period of patience, the man’s circumstance came to an end.
After the man left, Violetta sat down and adjusted her clothes to calm her feverish body.
“Whoops, whoops…… Upset.”
Really.
I felt worse because my body kept adapting to the stimulation and feeling a sense of excitement.
Is there anything more terrifying than feeling the changing body and mind being destroyed every day?
I thought it wouldn’t be like this.
What suddenly came to my mind was the story Ellie had told me yesterday.
Hobby. Can you really find peace of mind if you have such a thing?
“…….”
After thinking for a while, Violetta finally stood up.
Violetta made up her mind to leave the room after a long time indeed. It was to ask Ellie to teach her an instrument.
Jump-
“Yes.”
As soon as she opened the door, artificial light entered her eyes.
All the lights are turned off and the room is intentionally created to create a dark atmosphere. And the bright hallway contrasted with it. Violetta stepped forward with a slight fear.
My legs are shaking, probably because I haven’t exercised for a long time.
