159 – 47. Kang Je-won, Elijah. (4)
Elijah saw his younger self kissing Judah’s cheek.
‘Ugh…. I’m embarrassed….’
It was like that in my dream.
I had no idea until now.
However, Judas was awake at that time.
I wanted to hide because I was embarrassed, but there was no place to hide here.
Elijah felt her entire consciousness flush with embarrassment.
I feel like her face is turning red.
Even though Judah was embarrassed in her memory, she hugged young Elijah again.
‘… ….’
Looking at her past, Elijah felt ashamed, then she laughed, then cried.
Happy times.
A peaceful young day that warms your whole body just by looking at it.
I want to go back.
I want to return it.
She wanted to put everything back in her place, fix her mistakes, and be happy with him again.
She had countless opportunities to do so, but she ruined them all with her own hands.
It was all her fault.
‘I miss you….’
I want to see that face smiling at me again.
I wanted to be held in her strong arms.
Elijah cried quietly and then she felt confused again.
‘… ‘What is this feeling I’m feeling?’
The memories she had with him.
The five brilliant emotions she felt towards him.
‘Are they all fake too? It’s just an illusion without reality that someone created virtually….’
Time passes in her memories.
Naturally, he developed the same feelings towards himself.
More than likeability.
But she was considerate of herself and did not show it carelessly.
He is such a foolish person.
Time passes quickly.
Knight’s Tomb, Bethany.
The day the order was given to dispatch troops there.
“Your presence must disturb me.”
Judah heard harsh words from him.
Nevertheless, until the end, he tried to talk.
He didn’t even blame himself.
And again.
When we found out the wrong information that Judah killed his mother.
“I hate you so much.”
I scratched him with sharp words.
Elijah saw the scene from Judah’s perspective.
Of course, I was able to pinpoint his emotions.
Even though he was stabbed painfully, he tried to clear up the misunderstanding.
He tried to communicate as rationally as possible, but he closed his eyes and ears and hid.
Even to the moment when he might die against the head of the Royal Guard.
Judas was thinking about the misunderstanding he had with himself that he could not resolve.
‘Ah….’
Elijah sighed softly in his thoughts.
He did not try to kill himself, and he did not kill Mary either.
And he thought of himself as much as he thought of him.
Why did this happen?
The cause is unknown.
Only the results remain.
He ruined everything himself.
They trampled on the anemones that were growing fine and broke the safe cage.
It was all his fault.
‘I…’ .’
Judah falls down bleeding.
‘I want you…’ .’
A wound so deep that I might not be able to wake up.
‘I want you…’ I made it like this….’
Elijah grew up differently from the person Judah knew.
It was purely thanks to Judah.
He became his color and weakness.
If he dies, he has killed himself.
The memory is over.
Elijah was floating dazedly in the dark void.
Her mind was a mess.
It was a mess of self-blame and confusion.
Her mother got stabbed with her own knife.
Judas dying.
It’s all your fault for not believing.
If you had believed in him.
If only he had been a little more rational.
This did not happen.
At the same time, I think about it.
Who am I?
What is the real me, and what have been my experiences in the fake world so far?
Then what suddenly came to mind was Elijah’s way of thinking.
This world can be divided into those that can be proven and those that cannot.
Then.
Can you prove that this world itself is real and that I am a real person?
… Can not do it.
Even though he knew that the world he experienced was fake, nothing changed.
She was still a sinner. She didn’t even want to run away because
She was fake and it was okay.
In the midst of her confusion, an ivory light flew into her as she reflected on her regrets.
‘You…’ .’
Firefly.
This is the child who came to the cage one day.
He is also the child who led me to Kang Je-won’s memories.
A firefly lands gently on her finger.
“I’m sorry….”
She carefully held her light in her arms.
The firefly did not run away.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” .”
Elijah cried bitterly.
The words “I’m sorry” Barely came out through her clogged throat.
I kept repeating it with trembling lips.
With no one to listen, the lonely apple hovered in the black void.
She barely stopped crying and raised her head.
Then, light sparkled throughout the void.
The memory contained in the golden light that illuminates the universe was Elijah.
As a result of reading and accepting Kang Je-won’s memories, she was able to read the void.
‘… ….’
Elijah was lost for a moment and admired the dark and brilliant universe.
That too for a moment.
You can’t stay here forever.
I have to go back.
Because I have to help Judas outside.
Even if she is a fake.
“I’ll go…” .”
Elijah gently reached out her hand and let go of her firefly.
“Next time….”
I wanted to see it, but will I be able to see it?
Promises that cannot be guaranteed cannot be put into her mouth.
Elijah barely swallowed her words and escaped from Judah’s mind.
The firefly watched her and remembered the direction she was leaving.
And then she went in a different direction.
Going through the pitch-black universe.
It looks like there is nothing, but it isn’t.
Fireflies, the owners of this place, can see shining gold hidden in various places in the dark.
A warm, shining memory.
A world filled with Elijah.
It passes, passes, passes again.
Even though it is her own world, she does not know everything.
I don’t know if there is an end here, but it heads to the outskirts, far away from the center.
There is a lump of darkness wandering there.
When you enter, the inside is a theater.
There are two men on stage.
Judas and Cain.
The memory of the day Judah killed Cain continues to repeat itself.
A boy was sitting in the audience.
A firefly sat next to him.
Ivory light changes into the shape of a human being.
Kang Je-won suddenly appeared.
He sat down in the chair and called the boy.
“Judas.”
“… ….”
“You are Judas, right?”
A young boy.
Judah looked up at him and nodded.
“… Yes.”
“… Okay.”
Kang Je-won looked at the haggard boy and sighed deeply.
“Before you leave, have a word with me.”
Kang Je-won sat next to Yuda and said.
Judas did not answer and looked at the stage again.
The moment when Cain’s head was cut was repeated.
Kang Kang-won did not hastily attempt a conversation, and she waited for a moment.
This place is far from the inner world.
Judas was hiding here the whole time, reliving that memory.
“Do you like that time?”
“… Yes. “It is a moment when the price was rightly paid.”
“Okay. To be honest, I also feel refreshed. “The bastards who harassed Elijah.”
“… ….”
“… Elijah, don’t you have any grievances?”
Judah slowly, but she immediately shook her head.
“I heard that you didn’t do it because you wanted to. It won’t be something that never happened, but…. I do not know. I just wanted to stop. All.”
“… Okay. I understand. “You had a hard time too.”
“… ….”
Kang Je-won spoke calmly.
Judas liked his simple comfort.
“I… He cowardly ran away. With that prayer on Christmas….”
After pausing for a moment, I look up at Kang Kang-won.
Kang Je-won burst out laughing.
“You can call me older brother. “Call me whatever you want.”
“… “I ended up dragging my brother in.”
“What…. “It doesn’t seem like it’s necessarily your fault.”
How did I become possessed by this world?
I’m not sure, but I know a few things that influenced it.
Judas prayed at Christmas.
And likewise, Kang Kang-won made a wish to meet Elijah through the sun on Christmas.
I don’t know if it’s really a related factor, but it doesn’t seem like it’s just a coincidence.
“Is that why you kept hiding in the corner? “Are you sorry for dragging me in like you want?”
“Yes….”
“Ugh…. But, I have a question. What I saw, do you too… “Did you feel or see something?”
Judas shook his head.
“I glanced when I was provoked, like when I killed Cain, but not like that. “Usually, I was hiding here, asleep.”
“And, since they are satisfied with killing Cain, they are now trying to disappear.”
“… Yes.”
Judah’s body was translucent.
The transparency has become much worse than before, to the point where you can now see beyond it.
“Okay…. Anyway, I’m glad that he doesn’t feel any resentment and seems satisfied. To be honest, I felt a bit uncomfortable. “I would feel the same way if I came into someone else’s body and the owner hated Elijah.”
“There is nothing to worry about. “That body is now completely yours.”
“Huh?”
“I felt liberated while watching that scene, but I don’t think I did it. The gesture that killed Cain, the experience I had experienced until then. It’s not all mine. “I just became a distant spectator.”
Judah’s body was disappearing from the tips of his feet.
“So the name Judah and his body are just older brothers. It has nothing to do with me. Even now, I am only borrowing the young form of that body for a moment. In fact, it has become a non-existent idea that has no form. That body is not me. Rather, it feels unfamiliar.”
“… Are you younger than me? “I feel very smart.”
“Now that I’m here…. Ah. And his memory of the time when his older brother was called Kang Kang-won was interesting, so I took a little peek at it. Then I learned something…. Anyway, I’m sorry for watching you secretly.”
“I apologize for everything. It’s okay.”
Kang Je-won said in a joking manner on purpose.
“And man. You said it was the body you used, but you never said it was still connected to you? Let me assure you, that’s me. “No one else.”
Judas looked dazed for a moment, but then smiled reassuringly.
The upper body was dispersing like light.
“Yes.”
“Be happy. I don’t know if there will be a next time. Anyway.”
“Thank you.”
The image of Judah with his head down suddenly flew out of the theater and disappeared.
The sparkling light powder spread like the Milky Way and then quickly blinked.
Judas, who was killing Cain in the theater, and Cain, who was bleeding, also disappeared.
When the lights go out, only a dark stage remains.
Kang Kang-won was left alone in the audience.
No, Judas.
I got up from my seat.
‘Now it’s time to go back.’
From noble mtl dot com
