155 – 46. Judah’s Past (3)
The days that followed were hellish.
Judas trained to kill people every day.
The harsh schedule was more like abuse than training.
I vomited several times because I couldn’t eat properly, but I couldn’t sit down.
If you hesitated, the people supervising the space kicked, threw, and hit you.
Every time that happened, Judah recalled his goal and gritted his teeth.
Angra stayed by her side and helped her remember that goal.
I fought with a child my age who was dragged in with me, got hit, and rolled around.
And one day.
“Judas, you must endure. “This is all necessary.”
“I can’t do it, please…” .”
“Then are you going to give up? “Do you mean to give up everything for the enemy who killed all your parents and friends?”
“… ….”
These were words that pierced my guilt.
In the end, Judah could not overcome his coercion.
And then, a man wearing a deep robe approached him with his limbs tied.
He smelled like old blood.
I felt nauseous.
He drew something on his face with blood, and then drew again around it.
It was a magic circle.
The true nature of the magic that I experienced several times was brainwashing and suggestion implemented through black magic.
I was feeling a compulsion to kill Elijah.
It would be best if it included memory manipulation, but we haven’t been able to implement that magic yet.
The warlock looked at Angra, and he nodded.
“Run it.”
Soon, black magic flows into Judah.
“Keuuuuu… !”
Angra looked proudly at Judah, who was struggling with his teeth clenched.
‘Excellent.’
Yuda’s skills and tenacity are superior to other guys.
So he decided to pour everything into Judas.
He even killed several children to use as sacrifices for black magic.
‘But, my heart is weak.’
The moment you reflect on your goal, you are stronger than anyone else.
It is a short-term concentration.
However, Judas often showed a foolish side.
The frequency has become more frequent these days.
Is it really right to live like this?
He reacted as if he was not sure whether the target of his revenge was Elijah.
‘If your heart is weak, just fill it and that’s it.’
Magic that interferes with the mind causes great pain to the target.
Moreover, it is not real magic, but black magic.
A pseudo-magic that embodies life as a sacrifice.
The pain is bound to be several times more severe.
If he is not careful, Judas may die while brainwashing him.
‘A safe but dull blade, or a dangerous but sharp blade?’
Knives exist to stab and cut people.
So there is no need for a safe blade.
It must be sharp even if it breaks.
Angra decided to risk Judah’s life.
“… “It was a success again.”
The warlock said.
“Her hostility towards Elijah di Bevel, which made her recall even more strongly the memory that he had killed a member of her village.”
“It must be a little better.”
“However, little by little, tolerance is developing. There will be times when her brainwashing will loosen.”
“Umm…. “That’s troublesome.”
If you want to do brainwashing again, you have to take that much risk again.
The more repetitions, the greater the burden.
“It would be a good idea to keep an eye on it and engrave it again if necessary.”
When Judah finally opened his eyes, they were different from before.
Sunken eyes.
Empty golden eyes.
Angra smiled in satisfaction.
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“I like it.”
*
Judah quickly grew up as an assassin to kill Elijah and entered the assassin’s guild.
The Assassin’s Guild is not a place to train assassins, but an organization that accepts assassins who are already skilled.
Therefore, Angra sending Judah there was a kind of testing procedure.
After several verification processes, he was recognized as the youngest member of the temporary organization and was sent on his first mission.
Target target, Maria.
This is the name Angra told me.
Elijah’s biological mother.
We waited in Gethsemane, close to the point where we planned to kill the target, and then moved on.
As he moved to the target point, he felt skeptical.
At that moment, his brainwashing relaxed, and his weak mind soared.
Is this the right thing to do?
Is this the right way to take revenge?
No, that’s an excuse too.
Judas was tired.
In the past, I wanted revenge.
Those feelings were real.
However, it was not this way.
I have never imagined revenge achieved by sacrificing my entire life and even destroying it.
The revenge that the child wanted was just a simple, exhilarating, one-dimensional pleasure.
It is only after being thrown into a harsh environment that you realize how short your thinking was.
It may not be enlightenment, but exhaustion.
I shouldn’t get tired, but it was difficult.
Why is he so weak?
He was a child who could handle such a lot of things and was unable to judge, but Judah just blamed himself.
This was the result of Angra scolding and scolding him every time he faltered.
I didn’t feel skeptical just for that reason.
Somehow Judas overheard the prison guard talking.
It can be said that Elijah was the one who killed the village.
However, it didn’t seem like she was like that because the girl named Elijah also wanted it.
The Narsisi and Bevel families.
A proud nobleman.
And Elijah, who is said to be an illegitimate child.
I learned that the village massacre was a means to control Elijah.
I signed this under threat.
Then shouldn’t she be holding them responsible, not Elijah?
I don’t know.
Now it didn’t matter which one.
I wanted to give up.
I was afraid.
Judah had a hunch.
After killing Elijah, she said she would die there too.
In the end, he is a throwaway being.
I didn’t want to die.
As important as his revenge, his own life itself is also important.
Although I didn’t feel like it, my body honestly headed toward the goal.
The coachman you bought will be guiding Maria safely.
A path with few people.
And when she finally got there.
“… Huh?”
The carriage was on fire.
Judas was embarrassed, but approached the carriage.
‘Who intervened? ‘Maybe a bandit attack?’
The coachman fell asleep as if he had fainted.
There is no target inside the carriage.
It is not visible anywhere around.
Only footprints that have gone somewhere far away remain.
‘… Escape? No, no. Not just one person. ‘Someone took it.’
I don’t know who took them and for what purpose.
But Judah considered this opportunity to be a stroke of luck.
I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to do.
It is not a failure.
An unexpected accident occurred, and it became something that could not be helped.
However, we must not leave like this.
The Assassin’s Guild always leaves its mark on the field.
First, he killed the coachman by stabbing him with a poison-covered sword.
Next we entered the carriage.
Luckily the door was open.
She placed a dagger where Maria would have sat.
A dagger prepared to kill her.
‘This is it, this is it…’ . I have done enough. I couldn’t help it….’
The little boy ran away from the scene of the fire.
Afterwards, he was kicked out of the Assassin’s Guild and harshly scolded by Angra.
He was brainwashed again.
Judas prayed.
‘Please…’ . Please make it stop….’
The sun in the sky. Or the moon.
Everyone prayed to someone who could be called God.
‘I want to stop…’ .’
I would rather die, so I wanted all of this to stop.
It was an empty prayer one Christmas.
*
‘… ….’
Judas did not kill Mary.
I reconfirmed what I knew from Judah’s perspective.
The carriage was empty, and Judas simply sheathed his sword and returned.
He didn’t even know it was like that, and he hurled harsh words at Judas.
‘… ….’
I don’t have the energy to be sad or angry with myself anymore.
We just accept the facts in vain.
He just admits the truth that he is a sinner.
While he was resigned and blaming himself, he still wondered about one thing.
He still couldn’t shake off the sense of discomfort he felt from the beginning.
‘… ‘Who on earth is this kid?’
Judas.
He is a name and appearance that he knows.
This memory is also Judah’s memory.
‘But, it’s so different….’
It’s like that from his personality.
When he was young, he was the one who risked his life to attack Archduke Balak.
However, he is very passive towards people at the training facility, including Angra.
It’s strange that something changed.
Now he doesn’t have much time left until he meets himself.
It’s not just that reason.
Elijah immediately discovered the authenticity of the corpse that Judah had disguised.
That’s not Judas.
It’s the same as back then.
If Elijah is concerned about Judah, he can figure out the truth once and for all.
The realm of emotion and intuition, not reason and reasoning.
She thought that the Judas in her memories was not Judas.
‘How can this happen…’ ?’
I continued to look through my memories while feeling doubtful.
This is the day when Judah participates in the selection ceremony for his escort knight candidates.
He was in the middle of the contestants lined up.
I fiddle with something in my pocket uncomfortably.
A sharp piece of glass that is easy to carry.
And which paper.
This is a bell received from Angra.
There is a command to kill Elijah, and it is a suggestion magic that embeds that command in her mind.
Judah saw the hint once on her way.
However, she was not as strongly stimulated as before.
Because I was brainwashed multiple times, I developed a tolerance.
While waiting, Judah continued to be conflicted.
Here, if she attacks Elijah, she herself dies.
If she doesn’t attack, she will be eliminated after that.
If you are eliminated here, you will not simply be scolded.
They might kill you because you don’t need them anymore.
I didn’t want to die.
I kept repeating the prayer.
He said he wanted to stop.
The prayer said on Christmas.
‘Now it’s almost time for me to come….’
The moment Elijah thought that.
‘… Oh?’
Consciousness flew somewhere far away.
I escaped from the scenery I had just observed.
‘Huh, huh?’
Embarrassed, Elijah floated in the air and looked around her.
A universe without a single ray of light.
She floated alone in the pitch black void.
‘This is…’ ‘Where is it?’
Perhaps an image of Judas.
A place believed to be the inner world.
I can’t see anything around.
I don’t even remember what I saw just now.
I don’t even know where to go to get back.
‘What should I do…? ? I haven’t seen all the memories yet…. Why are you doing this? Should I get out of this memory first?
A moment of concern.
A small light approached from afar.
Ivory light draws a line in the void.
‘… ‘Fireflies?’
The firefly that lived in his cage flew out.
The child who left when his cage collapsed and did not return.
A firefly sat on Elijah’s left ring finger.
It flaps its wings briefly as if greeting you.
‘Why are you…? .’
Then it flies somewhere again.
The slow movement seemed to guide Elijah.
‘Are you asking me to follow you?’
A ivory afterimage was left between the firefly and her hand.
Like a string that connects each other.
Elijah followed the child through her darkness.
And then, I fell into the memory of someone very unfamiliar and unfamiliar.
*
Unfamiliar scenery.
However, familiar atmosphere and environment.
When I first went to my family home, many people were whispering about Elijah.
Numerous servants and vassals uttered mocking words so that everyone could hear.
‘Is that the illegitimate child?’
‘I inherited the power of a wizard. That’s why the duchess did that….’
‘Is that child the reason the Duchess has been on edge in recent years?’
‘Because of that, only we who served had a hard time.’
‘In the end, I was brought back to my hometown…. ‘Poorly.’
‘By the way, where did my mother go and did she come alone?’
‘I don’t know. ‘Didn’t you throw it away?’
While being dragged away by her knight, Elijah heard everything.
This is probably what I wanted you to hear.
They had no intention of hiding anything.
The memories I see now are similar to those back then.
I felt like looking in a mirror.
“Hey, did you hear? “He grew up in an orphanage.”
“Somehow, I thought it was a bit strange even in normal times. So, did you tell your homeroom teacher?”
“Why are you making things uncomfortable for no reason? .”
“So, there’s a reason why kids get bullied.”
“But is that story true? She said she killed her parents….”
Musicating noise.
In the center, a boy was sitting quietly.
On top of the loose school uniform, the student ID card hanging around the neck dangles.
A grumpy male student approached the front and called his name.
“Hey, Kang Kang-won.”
Elijah quietly looked at the boy who was called by that hard-to-pronounce name.
She is not a face he knows.
Black hair, eyes.
This is my first time seeing it.
But, this boy, he knows….
‘… Judah?’
