40. Leading, being led (7)
“I’m really, really sorry…. What I said back then, I didn’t mean it all…. It is a lie….”
To say that it is not necessary.
The words that I would rather die.
I still remember that moment vividly.
As expected, I can’t ruthlessly push you away, who is crying so sadly.
‘That’s right, I already have you….’
“I….”
More than that, I also wanted to clear up some questions.
“Before that, can I ask you something?”
“Yes…. Ask me anything.”
“Did you really try to kill me that night?”
The night he climbed on top of me, strangled me, and cast a spell.
What was Elijah thinking?
“… ….”
Elijah’s complexion turned pale in an instant.
Her pupils trembled as if an earthquake had struck.
“Well… I don’t know…. I know it’s really, really awful, but….”
Elijah closed her eyes tightly.
“I don’t think I didn’t have that kind of heart at all….”
“You said earlier that you wanted me to die was a lie.”
“… ….”
I’m not trying to argue, but when I ask, why does the conversation keep going that way?
I spoke to her crying.
“Tell me honestly what you were thinking at the time. I want to hear that.”
“Yes….”
After catching her breath several times, Elijah opened her mouth.
“You have become so precious to me. You, who became uncontrollably special, became my weakness. So, I thought I should get rid of it…. Because I shouldn’t have that….”
Elijah glanced at me.
I nodded her head to tell her to continue.
“And, you know, I was preparing for war. In case you get hurt in that war…. I can’t bear to think of that…. If you die I….”
Unable to finish her words, she shuts her mouth.
Again, her body trembles and cries.
I waited in silence.
“I know it’s out of sync, and it’s crazy. I know, but I’d rather have you with my hands….”
Unable to speak any more, Elijah shut her mouth.
She had enough.
I summarized her story.
‘A child who is clumsy with emotions….’
There is a scene that comes to mind at first glance.
When I got hit by her crossbow instead of Elijah.
When I was beaten by an envinil enhanced with black magic at the founding festival.
Elijah’s reaction was passionate in many ways.
She looked frightened or angry.
At the time, the situation was so urgent that I couldn’t afford to look back.
‘If you think about it now….’
She was surprised and scared.
Because I became aware of the feelings that thought of me.
The emotion is too big to handle.
It’s the first time she’s felt that way again, but she’s in conflict with her words that she’s been ruminating on like an obsession, so she’s lost, not knowing what to do.
That’s not all.
She has a natural mad fire.
It has the property of stimulating the user’s violence.
With my weakened magic power, I wouldn’t have been able to quell that crazy fire.
A mixture of rampant violence and fearful emotions led to such an accident.
‘Right now…. I guess it’s different.’
I decided to ask one last question.
“At that time, you tried to use magic on me.”
“… Huh.”
“Can you tell me what kind of magic it was?”
And the answer that came back was completely unexpected.
“I was trying to peek into your memory.”
“… Do you remember me?”
“Yes. You said you don’t remember the old days. Angrana, Giudecana, things like that.”
“Oh, yes. It was.”
“I wanted to find it for you. That’s why I used magic, but I don’t think the magic worked properly.”
… Ah.
I lamented inwardly.
A phrase I heard somewhere comes to mind.
Fate is completed by the act of avoiding that fate.
Self-fulfilling destiny.
Her actions to get away from her Elijah brought her closer.
As we got closer, we naturally got a little closer.
To the point where I wondered if I could avoid a tragedy with this relationship.
But rather, Elijah valued me so much that it made me feel confused.
On the other hand, the magic immunity trait I found to defend against Elijah’s magic.
On the contrary, it misunderstood Elijah.
If it wasn’t for that magic immunity, it might not have come this far.
I must have just checked my memory.
“And, thinking of me, your feelings and things like that… curious….”
Elijah spoke in a crawling voice.
My face, originally red from crying, became even more red.
… This is 100% embarrassing.
‘They keep snoring, and they’re so cute that it’s harmful to the heart….’
Discovery of Revelation.
I don’t know if this really would have happened if I hadn’t had that magical barrier and had peeked into my memories and emotions.
I am Elijah….
“You said you were sorry. I am…. It’s okay.”
It’s okay.
It wasn’t okay at first, but it got better.
Can you forgive me for this? I do not know.
It wasn’t okay, but I’ve never been resentful, so there’s no need to apologize.
However, when she saw Elijah sincerely apologizing, she just got better.
Unexpectedly, Elijah’s eyes widened in surprise.
Then ask carefully.
“Why… Aren’t you to blame?”
Even though there was an emotional turmoil, she tried to kill me.
It seems strange that they don’t rebuke that.
But now I know.
As I listened to her story, I suddenly realized.
That she didn’t try to kill me.
I can find out in advance if someone is actually trying to kill me.
It was the same when the assassins were sent from Ramek.
Survival expert.
The property sends a warning.
Even if you can block it with magic immunity, a warning will arrive.
But when Elijah tried to strangle me.
The survival expert was silent.
No warning was sent.
In other words, Elijah did not intend to kill me.
I was just confused because I didn’t know how to control my emotions.
“Because I know your heart.”
I don’t know if this is a rational decision.
She already had feelings for her to the fullest.
Can’t we put the standard of rationality on emotions?
“… ….”
She looks up at me with her blank eyes.
The big eyes are moist.
I won’t cry anymore.
Even though my eyes are red from crying.
“By the way, you shouldn’t touch it. I think I’ll be fine now.”
I spoke very carefully.
I was a bit suspicious as to whether I was really careful with the vocabulary I chose.
From noble mtl dot com
“Can I touch you?”
Elijah opened her eyes wide, swallowed her saliva nervously, and slowly let her reddened face drop.
“… Oh no! It doesn’t mean that, but it means that I can contact you… !”
“I know, too?”
She answered in a hurry and couldn’t meet my eyes.
With her head down and her gaze cast away, Elijah muttered in reply.
“… Do whatever you feel like.”
There are times when he gets flustered too.
Do whatever you want, when you see strange answers coming out.
I just have something I want to check for a moment.
But the atmosphere is like this, so I’m nervous and excited for no reason.
“Well then, excuse me….”
“Yes….”
I slowly grabbed her wrist.
It touches the soft skin.
The touch and body temperature are familiar to me.
However, this warm sensation coming through her fingertips was very unfamiliar.
It penetrates into the body and spreads throughout the body.
Warm warmth.
The smell of the drowsy sunlight relaxes the entire body.
It’s similar to sleeping with Elijah, but it’s a completely different feeling….
[Connected months.]
＞ [Complete month.]
Suddenly, the characteristics were changed.
And.
[HP: 65.0 ＞ 68.0]
Magic power increased.
‘Uh… ?’
There was no time to be taken aback by the change.
When I came to my senses, I was holding Elijah in my arms.
She leaned against my chest and was quiet.
“… Omg?! Oh, no, this, this, uh… ! That, that’s it, sorry… !”
I swear I didn’t do this on purpose.
Her bird, unconscious of me, embraced her as if possessed by her.
If this is what Elijah felt every time he touched me, she was nice enough to understand why she sought me out so young…. That, like that….
“… ….”
Elijah didn’t say anything to my sudden action.
She slowly raises her head and looks up at me.
Your face is as red as that of a drunk person.
If you poke it, even red juice will flow.
The tightly closed lips were serious as if they had decided on something.
After looking at her for a while, she wraps her arms around my neck and slowly climbs up.
The face leaned against her chest, carefully.
I leaned on the bedside and naturally lay down.
I see you face to face in the same location before you know it.
A breath close enough to touch.
The subdued voice was infinitely serious.
“Judas. My heart… I said I knew what it was like.”
“… ….”
“Really… know? How much do I think of you…. Do you know Even I am afraid of how deep it is….”
A thinly trembling voice.
I feel that I am inflated with some kind of expectation.
My long black hair tickled my face.
My vision is full of Elijah riding on me.
The tip of her nose barely touches.
The gap between the lips is enough to barely fit one finger.
If you take a deep breath, it feels like your lips will touch.
My heart beats like crazy.
For a moment, I had a crazy idea that those small, thick, glossy red lips were appetizing.
A tight atmosphere.
Ships and boats in contact.
And breasts and breasts.
It’s as hot as if the body that was close to it would burn.
Involuntarily, I gulped down my saliva.
She wet her own lips as she stuck out her tongue in her pout.
Imaginations of smooth bright red tongues touching lips bloomed on their own.
Stillness where time passes very slowly.
Elijah slowly closed his eyes.
She twists her head slightly and comes down to me.
I, too, followed my instinct and closed my eyes.
But at that moment.
