131 – So, we’re not that kind of relationship. (5)
Being swept away by the waves of emotions was only temporary. Adrian did his best to calm his mind as much as possible. He felt that it would be dangerous to just keep getting swept away by these waves.
However, calming down wasn’t easy. Could the feelings of first love, which he had never experienced in seventeen years of his life, be easily erased?
Returning to his room, undressing from his formal attire, and throwing himself onto the bed, she stared blankly at the ceiling.
While gazing at the ceiling, her eyes continued to replay the scene that had just taken place.
The terrace on a night shrouded in darkness. The intertwining of jet-black hair and slightly darkened golden hair, the moment their lips touched.
A tremendous shock rattled her mind. No matter how hard she tried to calm herself down, this torment that refused to subside was unbearable. What should she call this agony that wouldn’t calm down no matter how many times she tried to soothe herself?
She felt unjustly tearful. It would have been better not to know such emotions.
But now that she knew, it was irreversible.
She felt like she was about to burst, clutching her painful heart, suffering, and crying.
“Sob, sob….”
If only she hadn’t known, if only things had been different, perhaps she wouldn’t have been in such agony.
Why did she end up falling in love with him? Of all people… someone who already had someone they loved.
What was the trigger? Honestly, despite not having had many personal interactions with him so far.
She clumsily continued to think about her encounters with him.
And she came to a conclusion.
“Ah.”
Then she sealed her lips. With Seong Tuhee Este occupying her body, when she looked at Prahl with her gaze.
The brilliant blue flames he emitted, the words he hesitantly spoke to Este.
When everyone else was afraid and despairing, but he still picked up the sword.
His figure was so noble, so beautiful in his unwavering determination.
At that moment when he vowed to listen to Seong Tuhee Este’s wishes.
Adrian had already fallen for Prahl.
He just hadn’t realized it.
So, what would she do from now on? Should she just give up like this?
As soon as the word “give up” came to mind, Adrian shook his head. A strong sense of refusal filled his heart to the point where he wondered if he had ever refused something so vehemently.
“No.”
“No. I absolutely don’t want to give up.”
The thought immediately escaped his lips. The emotions he had just awakened, something that as a saint he should never indulge in. However, she understood how precious it was.
Deciding not to give up, the torment in her heart diminished. No… instead, her heart pounded. As if she had gained a new life.
Thump-
There were times when his heart beat fiercely. Adrian reminisced about the past.
There were none.
That alone was enough. If an emotion could make his heart beat so strongly, then it must be worth something.
Of course, it was also a dangerous thought.
In the Kingdom, it had been a long-standing tradition for maidens not to marry. Could one go against that tradition, dare to touch the taboo? She pondered.
The thought didn’t linger long. Adrian had found the contradiction in that tradition.
Isn’t it amusing? Surely, the deity blesses all lives intertwined in love. Would such a being really impose strict standards only on maidens?
And if so, why are priests allowed to marry?
Yes. A maiden not marrying is nothing but a wicked law concocted by humans.
“Such a wicked law, just get rid of it.”
Muttering to herself, she pulled the blanket over. Adrian’s mind began to race fiercely. How could he get closer to her?
It didn’t matter if she had a guardian. Did you know? In any case, illicit relationships were quite common in this world. It was an unsurprising matter.
The guilt he harbored for loving Frah was inevitably twisted with an unyielding heart, making it quite distorted.
Since it was something that intruded between people who were already in love… Surely, the recoil would be immense, and it would spark controversy, but she had no intention of easily abandoning this emotion she had come to understand with difficulty.
***
Though the kiss had ended, the passion in their gazes towards each other remained. I finally realized how intense the desire buried within me was.
Perhaps Asti in front of me felt the same way.
The affection melting in her eyes was something I had never seen before.
“Sigh…”
Her warm breath reached my shoulder. I didn’t release the hand that held her tightly. If I were to let go now, I felt like I might immediately take her to my bedroom.
…Would that be acceptable?
No, no. What are you thinking, fool? Once you taste it, it’s hard to get out of love. If I were to indulge in that, I might forget my duties, my responsibilities, and cling only to Asti.
I know myself well. Once I get addicted to something, I become absorbed in it. I never overestimate myself.
I was just an ordinary person.
Once addicted to something, it’s not easy to break free.
“It’s so good.”
At that moment, Asti’s voice suddenly sounded.
“Why?”
“Just… everything.”
She simply said that, then added one more thing.
“Just knowing everything is confirmed makes me happy.”
There’s no need for the foolish question of what she confirmed. Perhaps Asti was also hesitating.
Yes. This was just about right for now. A moment when our hearts connect. That’s enough.
“Frah.”
“Yeah.”
“I won’t ask for too much, so just hold my hand.”
“Just that much…”
I let go of her arm that I had been holding and gently took the hand she offered. It was just a step further, but.
Feeling her fingers intertwining with mine, I felt a strange sense of embarrassment creeping up on my face. I never knew I could do this with someone.
“The breeze is refreshing.”
“That’s right.”
There was nothing more to say. It must be a situation where words are unnecessary, likely meant for moments like this. Sometimes, it’s more important to feel each other’s presence than to speak.
She must have felt the same way.
Endlessly, we held hands under the moonlight, without a word between us.
How long had we been like that? Suddenly, Asti smiled and asked me,
“But, do we really have to go back?”
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“What does that matter? This is more important.”
At my response, a smile formed on Asti’s lips.
“Actually, I wanted to go to the next step… but I guess that won’t be possible, right?”
Asti looked at me with deep regret in her eyes.
“Sorry. That might be a bit difficult.”
My heart trembled at her expression, but all I could manage to say was,
“Why?”
“It’s hard to restrain myself.”
“Is there really a need to restrain yourself?”
“I have to. Someone like me… I might get too fixated on you.”
“Even if I try to stop you?”
“Yes. I haven’t even laid a finger on you for no reason.”
“If you feel that strongly, there’s nothing I can do. It’s a pity.”
“Sorry. I lack self-restraint.”
“From what I’ve seen, you seem to have plenty of self-restraint.”
“No.”
I shook my head. This time, Asti was wrong. I was just pretending, that’s all.
“Because I didn’t truly desire it. But… not you.”
At my words, Asti’s face darkened. Like the color of her irises.
“Uh, um…”
She knew what my expression was like and immediately lowered her head.
Damn. Even that drives me crazy.
I closed my eyes to calm the sudden surge of desire.
“Well then, let’s say. Prach.”
At that moment, Asti spoke to me while my eyes were closed.
“Yes.”
“Since it’s a bit unsatisfying to just hold hands like this, and it’s only for today… wouldn’t this be acceptable?”
“What’s acceptable…!”
What instantly invaded my mouth was the same soft touch and sweet scent that I had felt intensely before. Asti seemed to have deliberately made sure that only her scent filled my mouth.
There was no more conversation. Just the strange sound of our tongues, lips, and mouths intertwining echoed on the terrace.
—
After the banquet was over, the ministers secretly looked at each other with satisfied expressions.
Things seemed to be resolving more easily than expected.
“…Did you see?”
“I saw it.”
They saw it too. The saint gently grasping the edge of Frak’s robe, then letting go with a tender expression. What could that human expression be if not love?
“This might not be a simple investigation. It’s not a rumor or a lie, it’s a clear fact, isn’t it.”
Upon the magistrate’s words, the saint clearly embraced Ransel’s suspicion.
“In that case, it might be even easier to exaggerate. Since there’s a formal mass tomorrow, we can spread the rumor among the citizens of the Holy Kingdom then.”
“Isn’t this all resolving a bit too easily?”
Saying so, the magistrates chuckled, expecting their plan to be very successful.
