Chapter 235 – [Elemental Wizard] After That
Everything is gone
Bridle,
Fate too,
Goddess,
… Even Eric.
***
“Ah, Mr. Ertina. Thank you.”
“What. It’s nothing.”
Saying that, she smiled at Eric.
It wasn’t particularly great.
It’s just that it’s dinner time, and she just lights a bonfire instead.
… I can do it too
Originally, it was my role.
I should have been the one standing next to Eric saying thank you…
I still vividly remember Erik’s admiration the first time he struggled to make a fire outside, before I learned how to deal with elementals.
From that day on, I was always in charge of the party bonfire.
But not now.
Now Ertina, not me, is taking over that role.
I can do anything I want, but…
How?
How dare I get in between them?
I am… Dirty bitch who betrayed Eric.
It’s different from Seria and Arin.
At least they had never been Eric’s lovers.
But I… Even though I was Eric’s lover, I betrayed him.
My hand was groping for my fingers at some point.
Left little finger.
There were no rings attached here.
Eric… The ring Eric gave me.
Where is that ring now?
It’s on him
The man.
The man who hurt Eric…
I want to take the ring right now, but he is out of reach of my spirit right now.
Normally, I would have reached you.
The spirits haven’t returned intact yet, so they can’t go far.
Why… Why can’t I reach you…
The ring… I need a ring…
My finger, which had been fiddling with my little finger, suddenly touched my ring finger.
“…”
Ring finger.
He had his ring on it.
Not now.
I threw it away because I couldn’t hold back my anger, but now that I think about it, I regret it.
I shouldn’t have thrown it, I should have completely smashed it.
No, it’s not enough to smash it.
Scratching.
Something…
Scratch scratch.
More than smashing… I shattered it to pieces so that only powder remained…
Scratch scratch scratch.
I should have collected the powder and burned it again.
North north…
“Oh… !”
I looked down and saw that the ring finger of my left hand was stained bright red before I knew it.
Flesh.
I was scraping off only the flesh that had touched his ring.
While lightly stopping the bleeding with the spirit, I looked at Eric.
Eric talking with Ertina.
There is no shade visible on his face.
Why… ?
Eric thought he couldn’t do without me.
When the hell… When did you grow up like this?
Eric is… It couldn’t have been without me…
I had to protect…
Before I knew it, my hand was scratching my fingers again.
“Huh…”
I couldn’t even protect
I didn’t even have the right to keep it.
My finger touched the wound and it hurt.
***
“Let’s go past the village we visited last time. It will be faster that way.”
“Then so…”
The two are talking again.
The three of us follow dead from behind, only the two of us actively converse.
Eric continues to take care of us, but rather, it became poison to us.
For sure… Obviously, that seat was mine.
Why is she over there?
Why is the master taking the position of the disciple?
I bit my lip.
No, I… I don’t deserve it
Now I can’t reach him.
“…”
At that time, Ertina seemed to see me.
She says something small to Eric.
Soon Eric looked at me too.
“…”
What are you talking about?
Why are you looking at me and talking small?
Shall we listen?
If you use the spirit, you can definitely hear it.
But… What if you’re insulting me?
What if you’re swearing at me for being a dirty and ugly bitch?
Yes, it will.
‘Cause I’m that kind of woman
I betrayed Eric, who I had been with since I was a child, just by mixing my bodies a few times.
The memories, affection, and love that had been built up so far collapsed because they couldn’t overcome a single physical pleasure at best.
How could I blame Eric for that?
Eric…
Now it’s okay without me
I can’t…
I thought of him again as I looked at the wound on my finger that could hardly heal.
The man.
He tricked me into betraying Eric with his words…
No, it’s my fault
You shouldn’t blame others.
… But, if only that man hadn’t been there.
Even though I know it’s my fault, I keep thinking about it.
If it wasn’t for that man, Eric and I wouldn’t have had a split.
I wouldn’t have had to suffer like this.
I’m bad too… He’s worse
… Yes?
***
“I will stay here.”
“… What?”
I doubted my ears.
Three days after the grand welcome ceremony.
Almost everything important has been done.
Now it’s time for us to go back to our daily lives.
Seria is a mage tower,
Arin goes to the church,
And me and Eric to our hometown.
Right?
We are… Do you have to go back to your hometown?
“Give my regards to the village chief.”
“… Why?”
Why me…
Oh, I see.
You don’t want to go back with a bitch like me.
“… Okay.”
“Uni, don’t get me wrong. I am…”
“No… Eric too, I’m sure it would be better…”
Yes, our hometown is a rural village with nothing.
The villagers quietly ignore Eric, and the only friends in the village are my family.
But now even I have betrayed him.
It wouldn’t be strange if Eric fell out of love with our village.
“… UNI.”
Seeing my face, he said with a worried face.
“I have a request.”
“… What?”
“Forget me.”
“…”
That day, I felt like the sky was collapsing.
“Yuni, we are very precious to each other, but we shouldn’t become each other’s raison d’etre…”
“…”
I didn’t hear anything.
I… You hated it
It’s something I don’t want to exist even in my heart.
On the way back, I think Ertina grabbed me and said something more, but I don’t know.
From the moment I heard that, I didn’t hear anything.
“… Yuni, misunderstood his words…”
“…”
Now I really have nothing left.
***
“Yuni, you’re safe!”
“UNI!”
Upon returning to his hometown, the villagers warmly welcomed him.
Everyone was taken aback by Eric’s absence, but in their hearts they were probably glad anyway.
I guess so.
After ignoring him like that, wouldn’t they be ashamed to welcome him back as a hero?
Should have a grudge
… Yes, shame
I also have no qualifications to welcome Eric.
“Okay. Eric is… You stayed in the capital.”
My father listened to my story and nodded quietly.
All important stories are missing.
Why did he abandon me
Why couldn’t I catch him?
But my father never asked it.
“Anyway, nice to see your face, Uni. Good job.”
I came back to town like that.
When we left the village, it was uncertain whether we would be able to return alive, so the villagers had selected a candidate for the village chief in advance.
But now that I’m back, he has to give up his seat again.
This caused some problems.
He is already married, and his wife is pregnant with a child.
On the other hand, I am not married and, above all, I am a woman.
There were a lot of people who didn’t deserve me because these points were emphasized, but in the end, the position was returned to me because I was friendly with Eric.
Be friendly
Now there is nothing left.
Perhaps, one of the reasons for them was that I was helping Eric achieve his desired harmony with the demons.
There are also things that have been shown before.
Even though they are far apart now, they must think that their hearts are in touch with each other or something like that.
… It’s not.
Not all true.
It wasn’t like that for any particular reason.
Rather than really sympathizing with Eric, I think it was a sense of duty.
Missing Eric every day, blaming Jeren.
And then, somehow, I tried to do something.
As a result, our village became one of the candidates for the next selection.
If it is really selected, this village will be crowded with people.
You can get some support as well.
… But I still don’t know how to treat Eric.
I was still missing him, and I was furious with the man.
Meanwhile, Sera and Ertina came to our village.
“It’s been a while, Yuni. And is that the chief of this village?”
“That’s right.”
It was to visit the candidate site and check the condition.
Originally, only Sera and several of the ummas under her were scheduled to come, but Ertina also accompanied them for some reason.
“UNI.”
“…”
When I saw her, I got a subtle feeling about her.
Ertina.
It was like she was looking at me.
No, it’s different from me.
She is… Maybe it’s me that I might have become.
A different me from the dirty and pitiful me.
“Then, shall we look around the village first?”
“Ah yes… Then this way…”
So the girls walked around the village for about half a day, checking this and that.
“Yes, I checked and we will go back tomorrow.”
“Yes, thank you.”
In fact, the inspection itself does not take that long.
However, it was quite a distance to go back straight away, so I only stayed overnight.
For some reason Ertina ended up staying at our house for the night.
“UNI.”
“… Yes.”
After a long time meeting her, there was not much difference from her before.
“How have you been?”
How have you been?
Have I been doing well?
“I do not know.”
“… Is it so.”
She looked at me and continued.
“You seem to be in a lot of trouble.”
“That…”
After looking at her for a moment, I bit her lip and muffled her words.
“Are you hating me?”
“Oh, no… !”
But lying is useless.
‘Cause she’s already watching
“… Sorry.”
“Are you okay.”
Every time I see her, it makes me think maybe I was there.
If it wasn’t for that man…
If only I had done a little better…
Eric…
Without Eric, why the hell am I living?
“Uni, then… Do you remember what the hero said?”
“… Yes.”
Those words that ask you to forget yourself.
For sure… That would be bad
It must have been bad for a dirty bitch like me to keep missing Eric.
“You were thinking that way too. Would you listen to me now?”
“… Excuse me?”
Come to think of it, Ertina and Eric also said something more.
I don’t remember.
“You are too obsessed with him.”
Ertina took my hand and said so.
“I’ve been looking at him all the time, so I can’t imagine life without him.”
“… What’s wrong with that?”
Eric and I have been together since childhood.
I’m Eric and Eric was me.
“Then you are not here.”
“… Me?”
Do I not have
“Right now, I see only attachment and resentment in your heart. I can’t see you.”
“…”
Ertina kept talking to me.
With her heart begging you to understand her own words.
“Get out. They are not your essence. Not those things… Uni, please keep you in my heart.”
… I still didn’t understand what he meant, but somehow I felt like I knew something.
“I hope you get out of here on your own.”
Get out
Get away…
For some reason, only those words remained in my heart.
***
Even after that, I continued to work as the deputy mayor.
The selection of the candidate site went well, and our village was selected as the next selected site for the fusion of humans and demons.
Thanks to that, the work to be done has increased greatly.
First of all, we all had to understand the ecology of the demons to some extent, and we also had to build houses and various facilities for them to live in.
I also had to think carefully about how to use the subsidy.
Those were really very busy days.
I woke up before sunrise and spent the day reviewing, revising, and checking my progress with my father.
Not everyone was in favor of accepting the demons, but persuading them was also a task.
I wandered around the village busily to the point where I felt like a day was not enough.
Sometimes I regretted making things for nothing, but at least my father and many villagers didn’t seem to think so.
“Well, it’s good when people increase.”
“Anyway, it’s hard right now, but won’t it get better later? I heard that His Majesty is also looking forward to it.”
Future.
They were enduring the present while looking to the future.
Then what about me?
What am I watching
I suddenly thought of that while bringing meals to those who were drenched in sweat and laboring.
I was only looking at the past.
Eric and Jeren.
I regret thinking of Eric,
I got angry thinking about Jeren.
It was like that all the way back from Mawangseong.
But now, when I suddenly looked at it, my left hand was clean.
The ring Eric gave you.
I tried to get him to meet him in the Mage Tower in the capital, but at that time I thought that Eric had completely abandoned me, so I couldn’t get him.
I hadn’t even thought about the ring because I was busy.
Before the ring, devising a plan to accept the new residents came first.
Looking at it now, the ring finger was completely healed.
Every time I thought of him, I felt like digging his fingers out, but it had been a while since I last scraped them.
… I see
It’s okay not to think about them now.
Before I knew it, I wasn’t missing Eric, nor was I resentful of Jeren.
Because I was too busy for that.
Before, it seemed that I would not be able to live without longing for even a single day or resentment, but now I am living a fine life without that.
I can lightly skip jokes about when I will get married.
Get out
I see
Did you mean this?
It was only after a while that I finally understood.
Obsession with Eric, resentment for Jeren.
They nestled deep in my heart and haunted me constantly.
But Eric didn’t really resent me.
My resentment towards Jeren was just an attempt to turn my eyes away from my mistakes.
So you asked me to forget
It was only then that I understood what Eric had said in the capital.
By letting go of my obsession with Eric, I will be able to apologize not for myself, but for him.
By letting go of my resentment towards Jeren, I will not turn a blind eye to my mistakes.
Okay.
I finally got to face Eric.
Not under him, but beside him.
A place where you reflect on your mistakes and do not pass the pain on to others.
I was able to organize all the things that filled my mind like that.
The feeling that something is breaking through.
What had filled my heart for a long time was gone.
Yes, it is empty.
“UNI! What are you doing there?”
“Yes, go now!”
If it’s empty, can it be refilled?
Of course, Eric and I will never be lovers again.
There was too much going on for that, and you can’t just treat it all as nothing.
But… What if you are not a lover but a friend?
Can’t we be friends again?
That night, before going to bed, I wrote a short letter.
I thought about the contents of the letter all day, but it was only a moment to write it.
When you think about it, it was natural.
Because I’ve been thinking about it for years.
There is no need for technique or formula.
I just wrote my thoughts.
The letter I sent the next day came back after a while.
“Uni, a letter has arrived.”
“If…”
“From Eric.”
Pounding chest.
Trembling hands.
Indeed… What did Eric think of me?
Didn’t it seem that the dirty bitch was now pretending to be nice?
Didn’t he feel like I was trying to get back to him?
The letter I opened with such a worried heart contained only short sentences.
Thank you.
I wanted to hear that.
“Hey, hehe…”
I think I cried all day that day.
***
And, again, time passes.
The day Eric visited our village.
I was sitting on a hill in the village.
If you sit on this hill, you can see the town very well.
The village has retained its former appearance, but it has never stood still.
Villages are changing.
We too will change.
Bubbly.
I smiled slightly at the sound of footsteps I heard for the first time in years.
There are some things that haven’t changed.
“… Hello, Uni.”
I got up and turned around.
And I looked at his face and smiled.
“Hello, Eric.”
