6: Pure White
Unlike her flushed face yesterday, today her expression was frozen over.
“Say it again.”
And I could feel the icy anger within.
There was nothing to gain from provoking her, so I placated her as gently as I could.
“Hey?”
“Before that.”
“Mom, where are my pants?”
“…Are you joking with me right now?”
My attempt at an ice breaker didn’t land, and the fury lingering in her eyes showed no signs of abating.
‘Well, no choice then.’
I took a deep breath to collect myself, then let loose the reins I’d been holding.
“I’m so in love with you.”
The moment I said that, Chae-rin’s eyes widened in surprise.
And her friends sneakily watching from behind all gasped in awe.
“He actually said it.”
“Guys here usually clam up and can’t say a thing… oh right, he’s not normal.”
Anyone from our school knew.
The guy who nonchalantly tossed out a “F*ck Japan” when a Japanese transfer student came on the first day, and in middle school leapt out a second story window saying he wanted to get to the cafeteria faster.
He was unaware himself, but very different from an average student.
“Why can’t I like you?”
No, he was just crazy.
That was a fundamental issue unchanged from age 8 to 25.
“What are you…!”
From noble mtl dot com
Chae-rin was so dumbfounded by the barrage of confessions that she seemed unable to grasp the situation.
‘Good, she’s flustered.’
When someone trying to get angry gets this confused instead, they forget their original goal.
I could just say later it was only because of those guys that I casually brushed it off, so the misunderstanding would clear up.
‘From her view, it must seem like I’m messing with her.’
Considering that just yesterday I could barely spit out a response even when she grabbed and shook me like a 500 won coin in a piggy bank.
‘But what to do now that I’ve already said it.’
The words were out and the damage done.
I don’t know how it’ll turn out, but oh well… it’ll work out somehow, right?
Quietly observing her reaction in the silent classroom,
Her previously bewildered eyes began to regain their fierceness.
“…Don’t mess with people too much.”
Chae-rin’s face contorted, no, twisted.
‘Oh shoot, this is bad.’
She strode towards me and then-
“Ow!”
Using her slipper tip, she properly smashed my shin.
The pain assaulting my prefrontal cortex brought tears to my eyes and I dropped to one knee, involuntarily crying out.
“If you talk to me again, I really will kill you.”
With one scathing line, Chae-rin breezily disappeared from the classroom.
“F*ck… That hurt like hell.”
When I finally got to my feet after the pain subsided, I was met with
the dumbfounded expressions of my classmates, describable only with the word flabbergasted.
And my primate friends looking at me with reverent awe.
“Joo-un has lost his mind.”
“Joo-un, can you please love me just one more time?”
*
After that, Chae-rin didn’t come back to class until right before 2nd period started, missing all of 1st.
Our eyes met as she entered the classroom, but she gave off a vibe of “talk and die” so I couldn’t approach her.
I spent every break getting teased by my friends until lunch finally arrived.
“Yo, want to play soccer against Class 3 after eating?”
“I’ll pass today.”
“Then be our defender.”
“F*cker. Didn’t you hear me pass on that?”
I politely explained my stance to the friend who couldn’t comprehend.
He spoke to me in a slightly raspy voice.
“Hey…are you upset because I teased you?”
“Get lost. The homeroom teacher called me.”
Truthfully, the teacher hadn’t called me. Today, I wanted to look around the school rather than play soccer.
Not knowing my true feelings, he just laughed and cursed at me, thinking I was going to get scolded because the teacher had supposedly called me. I left the classroom, abandoning my friend.
“Seriously, it’s the same.”
Like I briefly felt yesterday, nothing was different from when I went here.
The science lab with its alcohol lamps and beakers, the teachers I caught glimpses of as I passed by.
One by one, I piled the memories I had forgotten into a corner of my mind, losing myself in nostalgia as I looked around. Before long, I arrived at the library.
‘What if I become 25 again when I enter?’
With that thought, I hesitated at the door, wondering whether to go in or not.
While I was agonizing over it, someone called me from behind.
“Are you going to sleep here again?”
When I turned around at the voice, the class president was standing there holding books in her arms like last time.
This time, she had more books that came up to her chin, accentuating her petite stature.
I relaxed my expression that had tensed up in serious thought, and smiled as I spoke.
“No, I was just thinking of reading some books.”
Saying that, I naturally opened the door for her. She smiled and entered the library, and I naturally followed her inside. In a small voice, she whispered to me.
“Thanks. But don’t you usually not read books?”
“I’m going to start reading them now.”
“Hmm…”
The class president looked at me doubtfully with a playful expression, then flashed me a refreshing smile.
That smile, filled with the sunshine of spring, was so warm it made me want to smile back.
“Okay, I’ll believe you. But if you fall asleep while reading, I’ll wake you up right away, okay?”
“…Got it.”
The mischief in her smile contained such kindness that it melted my heart instead of irritating me.
‘I just came to look around since I wanted to see this place again.’
Since this is how things turned out, I figured I should read a book. I went into the classics section and happily pulled out a title I had enjoyed as a movie, then sat down.
The moment I was about to open the book…
“What book is that?”
“Oh!”
The class president had somehow come up beside me and whispered in my ear.
Before I could even answer, she checked the title of the book and spoke as if it was unexpected.
“Pride and Prejudice?”
“It was pretty interesting.”
Originally I had only known the title, but early on when I started public service, I became curious about the original novel and read it a few times when I was alone in the classroom or library during my breaks.
She seemed surprised that I had chosen this kind of book.
“I didn’t know Yoon could read books like this.”
“Does it not match my image?”
Considering she was used to seeing me cause trouble at school, it didn’t seem to suit me very well.
The class president nodded in agreement, admitting it was a bit unexpected.
“To be honest, it is a little surprising. I’ve never even seen you read a book before.”
“That’s true.”
I hardly read any books as a student.
I only started reading when I began public service and found killing time on my phone while cooped up in the library to be boring, so I began reading various things.
From famous works to titles I wasn’t familiar with, I read them all.
‘Although of course, I got bored of that after half a year.’
She seemed pleasantly surprised that I was different than the image she had of me, and looked at me with great interest.
“So Yoon likes reading books…”
“It’s not like I love them. I’ve just read some of the popular ones.”
At my words, her eyes sparkled brightly. She sat down in the seat next to me and continued the conversation, whispering into my ear in a small voice.
“What did you think of this one?”
“Ah, that one was so difficult I could barely understand it. I had to look up analyses before I could get it.”
“hehehe…I found it pretty difficult too.”
The class president seemed happy to discuss impressions of books she had read, showing an excited side I hadn’t seen before.
Sometimes when we shared feelings about a part, she would laugh brightly like a puppy. And when I expressed an impression different than hers, she would close her eyes and ponder for a bit.
‘This is my first time chatting with a girl for so long.’
Whispering to each other in voices only we could hear as we shared this hobby, my chest tingled with excitement.
It was a distinctly different feeling than when I played with my guy friends.
It was like I had become the protagonist of one of the romantic comedy anime I watched every day.
Completely absorbed in talking about books, time flew by. Before I knew it, the preliminary bell rang over the library speakers, making the class president’s eyes fly open in surprise.
“Already? I haven’t finished organizing yet?”
“Were you in the library committee, Class Pres?”
Remembering how she had come in carrying piles of books earlier, I asked, and she hurriedly reshelved books while answering me steadily.
“Yeah, I like books and it helped me fill up my volunteer hours, so I joined as soon as I entered school.”
“I see.”
Volunteer hours…
I didn’t really fill out an application anyway since I had no plans on going to university and no money.
‘If this plan goes well, I should think about it. If I can just resolve the money issue, I’d definitely want to go to university.’
While thinking that, I saw the class president hurriedly moving around, organizing the books on his desk that were piled as tall as he was, so I got up from my seat and went over.
“I’ll help since you couldn’t do it while chatting with me.”
It wouldn’t feel right to just leave him alone and go into the classroom by myself. I should help out.
But the class president immediately waved his hands with a smile.
“Oh, it’s okay. To organize this you need to know all the numbers, so it’s hard the first time.”
The library books each had their own numbers by genre, and their positions were all set, so it was difficult for someone who didn’t know the proper placements to help.
“If that’s the case, don’t worry about it. It’s not my first time.”
“Really?”
But that wasn’t a problem for Joo-un.
After being cooped up in the library for a year, the public service worker could find the books’ spots with his eyes closed.
‘Is it my turn to step up?’
Joo-un’s shoulders shook a bit as the main stage had come to him.
He always felt good when he could help someone.
However, he failed to recall one important fact.
“Ah! That doesn’t go there.”
“…”
That book placements can change a lot in 7 years.
