After walking out of the entrance for a few minutes, and seeing that the apartment had disappeared from view, I sat down on a nearby bench and sighed.
“If you’re not feeling well, go to the emergency room right now. Call a taxi?”
“I thought I was going to die from fear.”
“What?”
He had endured by brainwashing himself all day, but now it was the limit. Because he ate in a state of tension while acting a poker face, his stomach twisted and vomited, and his stomach was rumbling and making noises.
“Are you sure you know what to do?”
Midsummer looked at me with a puzzled expression. It’s true that the direction we need to go is clear, but apart from that, the scary thing is that it’s scary.
“I just wanted to say something nice.”
“Did I not stutter? Did you drink a lot of tea?”
“I didn’t stutter. Heck, you said that you should try to get the form right until the very end.”
“Who is good? In the first place, I am far from that kind of person.”
Rather, it has deviated in a larger direction by refusing to admit it until now.
“… … Can you survive like that? Aren’t you going to meet them next Friday right now?”
next week
That one word of midsummer reminded me of what had just happened.
* * *
“Anyway, Dojin-ah… Right now, next week we’re going to hold a farewell party for you at my villa… … ?”
“suddenly? Do the people in the company know?”
Hearing my words, Minseo Oh waved her finger.
“Well… I’ve already discussed it with the people at the company… … .”
“What would you do if I said I wasn’t going?”
“There is no such thing… … . Even if I refused, I would have sent it somehow… On the contrary, I have to say that I feel a little empty because it was released so easily… … ? I had a lot to prepare… … .”
Oh Min-seo said while blowing her hair twisted in her fingers.
“That’s it now, free up time from next Friday to Sunday… Understand… … ? If you want to bring that girl too, I don’t mind… I’ll tell you… … .”
“okay. But I have to tell you how to get there. If you don’t make a reservation for train tickets, it might sell out.”
“I am going to pick you up at my house, so you don’t have to worry about transportation.”
Oh Chung-myung answered my question with a bright smile.
“Let’s go and unpack the hoepo and have fun… Good to look forward to… … .”
Oh Min-seo’s story ended there. It was an artificial smile that still did not contain a single word of sincerity.
* * *
“Well, since we’ve been talking for a few hours, that’s about it, so maybe we’ll just lie there moaning for three days.”
“Can I laugh?”
Midsummer opened her mouth while rubbing the hem of her clothes with a complicated expression.
“hey.”
“uh.”
“Do you have any plans?”
“plan?”
I asked.
“I was talking to those people. Do you have any plans for what to do?”
“no.”
“Don’t play around.”
“No, so we have to think about it now.”
A low breath escaped from Midsummer’s mouth when he heard my words. He scratched his head for a moment and then opened his mouth again.
“hey.”
“uh.”
“Help me?”
“yes?”
“He said he was going to be in pain for three days. Help me, don’t.”
Midsummer said so and sat down next to me. That strange, yet somewhat regretful appearance made me feel,
“Then you didn’t want to help? Of course I need help.”
“What?”
When he spoke like that, while smirking, Midsummer’s expression froze.
“Are you trying to stay still and do nothing?”
“Suddenly I want to do that.”
Midsummer murmured in a subdued voice and looked at this side with her narrowed eyes. I laughed softly, as if I had no interest in seeing it, and said in a very soft, flowing voice.
“Thank you.”
“When we first met, I don’t think we were this big, but how did we become like that?”
Midsummer ruffled his hair nervously and muttered.
“Yeah, I’m sorry for being another kid. Then let’s go.”
“Don’t do that because it’s annoying.”
“yes.”
We got up from the bench and walked towards the bus stop.
“Well, even if you think about a plan slowly in the future.”
“Yeah, there’s still plenty of time.”
“How are you going to do that?”
Midsummer, who was walking next to me, muttered a little while looking behind me with a squint. As I moved my eyes following that gaze, someone’s shadow came into my sight, moving slowly from afar.
“… … I am thinking about it now.”
“You said that in the morning.”
As soon as the midsummer’s words were over, someone ran out with a rustling sound from the electric pole in the back.
Soon, she crumpled herself into a power pole on the other side with a quick movement and began to look carefully with her head outstretched.
The ivory-colored hair braided below the shoulders seemed a little frizzy unlike before, and the face that gave the impression of a fluffy sheep was quite thin for a few days, giving off an ugly atmosphere.
“They say that he wrote all the letters on the front door of your house.”
“for now.”
Child, there is nothing more delightful than receiving a letter, really. There was a woman who told me such a story in a book I once read.
I think so too. There is nothing more exciting than receiving a letter with someone’s heart. In that sense, the letter I received this morning was also quite exciting. No, it felt like my heart was plummeting down because I couldn’t be excited.
The content of the letter was as follows.
Now I know it’s not right for me to raise my pen like this. No, it’s selfish. It’s disgusting. On the contrary, I am well aware that I might dig through the wounds I have inflicted on you.
Because what I did to you was a cruel and dirty act that a human shouldn’t do. Even the beast would vomit if he knew what I did.
So, on the day you left the company, I thought about the words you left to me dozens of times. About the mistakes I have made so far and what I need to do in the future… … .
yes i know A woman like me disappears in front of your eyes. that’s what you really want
But, nevertheless, Dojin-ah. Life without you feels so terrible that I can’t even imagine. Not even a single moment. You may think it’s disgusting, but I can’t help it. really like that
So please don’t leave me
I won’t ask for forgiveness. You can hate me for the rest of your life and treat me like a sandbag that you can use to relieve your stress. just let me be by your side
I will do anything for that. I will do anything to make you happy.
I can’t believe it when I write like this. So, I’ll prove it first. The letters sent together after this are statements and reflections that approached me in various ways and described in detail what I did to you in the past was wrong.
It doesn’t matter if you burn it without reading it. Because these are just proofs. Proof that I am deeply reflecting on the actions I have committed in the past.
I’m sorry, I know this isn’t the best way, but as you know, I’m a crazy person, so all I can think of right now is this. If there’s anything you want, if there’s anything I can do for it, just tell me. I will run right away.
So please, don’t throw it away.
The whole time I read the letter, I couldn’t breathe.
It was because the countless anguishes that ran through her head until she picked up the pen, and the pain she felt while writing the letter, was conveyed so vividly through the writing.
It is true that there was something sad about her, Dasom noona. However, it was never meant to go to such extremes.
I was engulfed in the emotions of the moment, and I became unbearably disgusted with the self of the past, who spit out words that shouldn’t be said.
Of course, it was an inevitable fight that should have happened someday between my sister and I, but it shouldn’t have happened in that form. It was necessary to choose the words more carefully and deliver them softly.
But no matter how much I regretted it, the water had spilled and it was clear what I had to do there. Yes, that was enough.
I took a deep breath and turned around and started walking.
“I was still thinking.”
Midsummer said while holding my forearm.
“It’s too late if you think about it.”
If you think for half a day and keep holding on to problems that don’t have an answer, nothing will change.
I put down Midsummer’s arm and stepped towards the telephone pole where Dasomi noona was hiding. The distance slowly narrowed as she fidgeted behind the pole, and soon we were able to face each other.
“Do, Jin-ah. this, this is it I suddenly saw you on the way home. By any chance, I’m afraid I’ll hate it if I run into it, so… … know? I’m never what you think How could you do that to my subject?”
Dasomi noona, who saw me, started trembling and breathing heavily as if she was facing a monster.
I expected it, but it’s still painful. It was dozens of times more painful than reading it, and I almost wanted to close my eyes. But that shouldn’t be the case.
I slowly opened my lips while suppressing the emotions that ran up my throat.
“sister.”
Read at nobelmtl.com
At the same time I opened my mouth, she burst out in a soft groan, then sat down and started pouring out words in a watery voice.
“Well, you were wrong. Do Jin-ah, your sister made a mistake. Everything from one to ten is my fault. I shouldn’t have done that to you and not anyone else… … . ugh, forgive me forgive me just once I will do better in the future. I can’t live without you.”
Dasom noona’s lap, who said that, was bleeding from the sudden collapse. I hurriedly grabbed my forearm and opened my mouth as I lifted my sister up.
“Wait, I didn’t come here to hear that.”
“Yeah, that’s right. It’s only natural that you don’t want to hear such a false apology. Oh, do, if it’s money, here it is. I’ve got a bunch of stuff in my pocket so you can give it to me whenever you need it. Oh, or will you hit me? Can I borrow your knuckle… … ?”
Feeling miserable, I grabbed Dasom’s sister’s shoulders with both arms.
“sister.”
The stone-hard older sister nodded her face as if she was about to cry.
“I’m here to talk. with my sister.”
“Hey, talk? Dojini and me… … ?”
“Yes, can I hear you?”
“That, then. Well then. not like that Anything Dojin wants. Yo, cursing is fine… … .”
I took a deep breath and opened my mouth.
“Sorry.”
“uh… … ?”
The older sister raised her head and covered her mouth with one hand, blinking her eyes as if she had heard something unbelievable.
“I’m sorry I got angry last time. It is true that there was something sad about my sister, but what I uttered at that time was an obvious mistake.”
“Wow, what are you talking about? Dojin, why are you apologizing to me?”
“Because I couldn’t believe it. I knew she wasn’t like that, but I didn’t try to find out why.”
The whole time he spoke, his lips were swollen and the inside of his mouth was dry. I paused a bit and continued the story.
“I want to reconcile. And again with my sister-”
“Wait, Dojin-ah.”
Dasomi noona, who cut off my waist, had a strangely subdued expression.
“So, Dojin, you… … Are you going to forgive me? With no conditions, no cost?”
I nodded my head without saying a word. Then, after staring blankly at my face for a while, she suddenly brought my face closer and grabbed my shoulder strongly.
“… … It can’t be, can it?”
Eyes that had lost their light were staring intently at me.
“I mean, I restricted my diet even when you didn’t want it. I threw away all the plastic models I cherished because I didn’t like them, and I cut off all the clothes if I didn’t like them. I even forbade you from buying a car for fear you’d run away suddenly. They even secretly installed a GPS app on your phone to monitor where you were 24 hours a day, and even followed you when you thought that wasn’t enough. huh? Jin-ah Do, your older sister is a woman who found happiness in limiting and oppressing your life. You can’t forgive a woman like that so easily, right?”
I was speechless by the harsh pressure of the chill, and while I was gathering my thoughts for a moment, Dasomi’s sister continued.
“Dojin, you are mistaken. you forgive me Or maybe you’re holding on ‘Cause you’re such a good kid He’s a warm kid who always cares more about others than himself, right? But I mean… … . My sister is a stupid person, so if you do that, you will only get confused. I mean, I’m going to get excited and cry alone and hurt you like the last time.”
“Wait, I’m not really.”
My sister said as she put her index finger to my mouth.
“Dojin-ah, I’m sorry. Was your sister too rude? No, it was actually crude and disgusting. He unconsciously knew that if he pretended to be pitiful like this, Dojin, who was weak at heart, would soon forgive him. She’s a really mean girl… … . I can’t forgive you. Do-jin, you think so too, don’t you?”
The older sister, who had been shaking her body as if she couldn’t hold back her anger, opened her mouth with a smile.
“But don’t worry. If Dojin doesn’t punish you, I’ll punish myself. If so, would you be able to understand? chamberlain… … like this.”
As soon as the words were finished, Dasomi’s older sister slapped her on the cheek. The blow was so hard that a bright red liquid started dripping from her nose.
“Sister, what are you doing!”
“Dojin, you stay still.”
Dasomi noona pushed me away with terrifying force and continued to slap me on the cheek. I jumped up and grabbed both of her forearms.
“Stop it, you said you didn’t need anything for the cost!”
Dasom’s older sister’s shoulders twitched and shook. My older sister, who looked at me with trembling eyes, as if she had just woken up, immediately began to shed tears.
“If only I had a sister-.”
“Mi, I’m sorry. I’m fine… … . Ah, Dojin told me not to do it. I told you not to do it, but I did it. again at will. Why, why do I always… … .”
Dasomi noona, who had been biting her nails as if she couldn’t believe what she had just done, pushed me hard to wipe my nosebleed and started running in the opposite direction.
“sister!”
I was trying to follow her, but it was difficult to catch her, who was running through the alley at a speed that seemed beyond human.
“Shit!”
While clutching my chest that was about to explode, I pulled out my cell phone and called Dasom’s sister, but her voice didn’t come out of the receiver.
“… … When you get home, right, Heo Eok, think, plan, okay?”
Midsummer, who was running staggering behind me, took a deep breath and said.
“It should be.”
As long as this is the case, I will make the farewell party a success no matter what. I thought so and clenched my fists.
