dizzy. As if there was a hole in the middle of the body, the cool wind blows in non-stop, and sticky sweat runs down my back.
Even if he tries to sleep to forget the cold, he wakes up soon after. After waking up, he can’t stand the feeling of vomiting, so he vomits yellow gastric juice and falls asleep as if fainting. Then he wakes up again, unable to overcome the chill that shakes his body.
Something was going wrong. I need to call an ambulance, but I don’t know where my phone is. Maybe he left it in the taxi. I want to go to the hospital, but my legs have no strength.
It can’t be helped, because this is a punishment. A punishment for hurting those around me.
I am being swallowed up in this cold closet.
… … .
It was a strange feeling. Something soft like cotton candy, but a little squishy and heavy, wrapped around my forehead, and a cool breeze was blowing gently beneath it.
I opened my eyes again.
“ah.”
A thin breath tickled his nostrils. The white light from the ceiling pierced my eyes.
“Ouch.”
After a few clicks, the white light changed to a soft tan light.
“Do you think it’s a little better?”
Beyond the blurred vision, hazy colored eyes, sunken eye shadows, and protruding hair come in. It was midsummer.
“Hey, if you don’t like it, tell me. If it’s still bad, go to the emergency room.”
Midsummer sighed deeply as I licked my lips, unable to grasp the situation.
“Hey, the battery hasn’t run out yet?”
Outstretched fingers point to the hallway.
“We decided to do the tidying up, even today. Something happened yesterday. But no matter how many times I press the doorbell, it doesn’t respond, so I came in and tried it out, but it’s a little stinky. Can I explain a little bit now?”
Midsummer finished with those words, picked up the wet towel on my forehead and put it in the basin and patted it.
“Hey, if you understand, answer me, whether I should go to the emergency room or not.”
“why… … .”
There were many things I wanted to say, but it was only one word that came out of my throat.
“If he dies, you have to go out again. You have to starve yourself.”
Midsummer, who narrowed her eyes, answered while wrunging out the towel.
“Answer if you know. It’s getting annoying.”
As she shook her head, Midsummer put a thermometer in her ear as if suspicious.
“The fever seems to have gone down a bit… … . Then get up No, wait here.”
Midsummer grabbed my shoulder and brought it to the pillow on the wall, then got up and came with a box from the front door. The tape covering the surface was flashing tan.
“It’s a substitute for a table.”
Midsummer murmured as if in response to my questioning gaze, and moved to the kitchen.
Not long after, the savory smell emanating from it along with the rattling sound filled the whole house.
“I bought the pot and bowl with that card. as cheap as possible.”
The bowl that Midsummer put down contained porridge with a white light.
“Eat it.”
The steam oozing out of the porridge wet his lips as he opened the porridge. I carefully put the spoon in my mouth.
“It’s hot, so take it slow.”
“okay.”
The grains of heat melt down the frozen throat. Midsummer sat down in the corner of the room watching me eat for a while.
“Tell me if you think you’re going to vomit.”
* * *
As soon as the meal was over, Midsummer took an empty tableware and headed to the kitchen.
“Leave it alone, I’ll take care of it.”
“It’s okay, so be quiet.”
The sharp gaze of midsummer fell into her eyes. He added a word and turned his head.
“Because I give back what I received.”
When I opened the window to catch my breath, the wind from somewhere hit my face.
A full moon is floating in the dark sky without a single star. There were some clouds, but it seemed insufficient to block the light of the full moon.
“What are you doing?”
A voice came out of nowhere and pierced my ears.
“Just to ventilate.”
“I’ve done a lot before, so don’t worry about it. Please lie down sooner than that.”
Midsummer, with the window closed roughly, pounded the futon spread out in the corner of the room.
“No, what are you doing now?”
“why?”
“Aren’t you going home?”
Midsummer, who heard my question, opens his mouth as if in absurdity.
“Where is my home?”
“No, not that… … . There is a motel. It was already late at night.”
“Ah, that’s it.”
Midsummer looked at the ceiling for a while, then stretched out his back and opened his mouth.
“I’m going to watch him sleep. It might be fine now, but it might get worse while you sleep. I don’t have the confidence to wipe that vomit off again… … . Oh right.”
Midsummer, who was moving around, pointed to the TV hanging on the wall.
“It’s boring, but can I watch that? I think I’ll have to get the owner’s permission first.”
I was speechless and stood still,
“I know it will happen. If you feel sick while sleeping, call me. Ooh, what is this, it hurts my eyes. Just thinking about cancer is too big… … .”
Very crazy.
From the beginning, he was a far cry from a kind attitude, but today, I have to say that every word has a poisonous feeling, but it feels like he is shooting strangely.
done. Because arguing with a young child will only give you a headache.
As he was about to go back to his futon, rubbing his head like that, a sudden roar resounded throughout the room.
A roaring rumbling sound, like a whale crowing, grips my chest.
I reflexively turned my head to check the source of the sound.
A port city where the sunset shines. A black spot suddenly appears on the red brick road.
Passers-by, realizing the incident, frowned, and umbrellas that bloomed from their hands made a loud noise and colored the brick road. The melody of the flute coming down through the raindrops was stroking my ears.
“Ugh.”
A shallow nostril cut the melody. It was midsummer. He grinned his half-closed eyes and raised the remote control.
“Wait a minute.”
As he ran quickly and grabbed the remote control, Midsummer’s shoulder bounced off.
“What, what?”
“Don’t turn around.”
“Okay, okay, let’s just let it go.”
Midsummer, who shook off my hand, threw the remote control he was holding on the floor.
“I’m sorry, but be quiet.”
“Ah, yes.”
A dull sound shook the floor, but there was no time to worry about it.
A faint turquoise road, the sound of children running back and forth as they pull down raincoats, the jazz music that wraps around the street, and the burning cheeks of two men and women leaning on the alley and staring at each other.
The sun was setting, but the street beyond the television was shining brighter than ever.
And now, the man’s mouth, who was staring at the woman’s blue eyes, was about to open. It was the moment when the story was going up.
―My love, my love, Genevieve… … .
What came out of the man’s mouth was a clear voice.
A voice that is transparent and entangled with subtle heat, as if it were a courtship of a bird in love. The exaggerated high and low tone of the tone clearly revealed the man’s pounding heart.
The song that flowed into my heart through my ears reminded me of a certain landscape.
It was a room with a dim light penetrating through torn curtains, dusty hair and a sparse smell of shampoo, and a projector that squeaked and spewed out movies.
And I sit there-
“Pooh.”
A sudden burst of laughter brought me back to reality. The images that fluttered before my eyes a moment ago are now gone. I turned my head with a bit of resentment.
“Ugh… … .”
The culprit, who made the sound, blinked calmly and shook his head, as if trying to hide the fact, but it seemed difficult to hide his twitching neck and scruffy nostrils.
Still, I guess I’m trying to take care of myself. That’s why I can’t even get angry.
No, when I think about it, I also licked my lips like that at first… … .
* * *
“Puff.”
I quickly covered my lips. The flesh on the back of my neck tickled me, but I had to endure it. For now, that’s enough to hide. I took a deep breath and carefully moved my gaze.
“ah.”
At the end of their gaze, they met eyes that were shimmering in black. Her pale red cheeks conveyed her feelings to me.
In an instant, my heart sank.
“no. What is it, I suddenly remembered this movie I saw yesterday. You know, I’m not saying this movie is funny.”
“uh? what?”
Seol-ha Chae tilted her head after hearing my chaotic explanation.
“No, I think I was laughing at something. It’s your favorite movie.”
“Why are you laughing at that? You were just laughing because you were funny.”
“It wasn’t a funny scene… … .”
A scene in which the female protagonist, who is tired of waiting for the male protagonist, who has gone to war and has lost news, accepts another man’s proposal. It is not a situation that will make anyone laugh.
“Oh, you dress like the Virgin Mary.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at Chae Seol-ha, who imitates the song of the movie with an exaggerated expression.
Read at nobelmtl.com
“It’s a line that doesn’t fit with the emotions these days. Depending on your point of view, it might be funny.”
“Is that so?”
Suddenly Chae Seol-ha pulled up a chair and sat down. By the look on her face, she seemed to know that I didn’t understand her properly.
“Not ‘Is it?’, but because it is.”
I reflexively withdrew my back at the strange breath that burst out from close, but I pulled up a chair and sat down, not paying attention to the scavenger hunt.
“Come on, listen.”
He continued talking while holding my shoulder while collecting snow. It was a movement that felt strange pressure rather than shame. I swallowed my saliva and listened to her.
“Do-jin, you’re the one who thinks sad movies should be sad and funny movies should be funny, don’t you?”
I nodded.
“On the other hand, don’t you think that a film that doesn’t elicit that kind of reaction can’t be made?”
I nodded again.
“why? Why did you think so?”
Chae Seol-ha looked at me with curious eyes.
“That’s something I never thought of.”
“Probably because of the critics. Because they give you points for saying that.”
“… … I think so.”
As soon as I finished my words, Chae Seol-ha raised her head.
“How do you think I will feel now?”
“Wow, what?”
“How do you think I will feel now? Guess, quick.”
I looked at Chae Seol-ha’s face, suppressing the burning face from moment to moment. The sharply curved eyebrows, the nose that breathes lukewarm breath, and the slightly quivering lips are very lovely.
No, not this.
“fury… … Am I?”
“Why did you think so?”
“Hey, you’re wrinkling your eyebrows. Your voice seems a little angry.”
“Ding.”
He tapped my shoulder and twisted the corners of his mouth.
“It’s fun, and that’s great.”
It was confusing. The face of Chae Seol-ha, which shimmered in front of her, was also a face, but she couldn’t understand the intention of her actions.
Chae Seol-ha opened her mouth again.
“The movie is the same, after all, it’s made by people, so it’s bound to be complex. Even if that is not the direction the director intended.”
Chae Seol-ha’s words fell like stones and rippled in my heart. I’ve seen the movie for years, but I’ve never thought of it that way.
“Rather, I think the person who insists on interpretation while stating the intention of the director is ignoring the film.”
it was close And it was embarrassing at the same time. Her eyes that can see things as a polyhedron, her tolerance like the sea.
I failed because I couldn’t do that.
“I know. Now I understand.”
“really!?”
Chae Seol-ha’s eyes twinkle. It seemed that he was very happy that he understood what he was saying.
“Yeah, so far I’ve been watching movies—”
“Yeah, unlike a normal movie, all the lines in this movie are songs, right? At first glance, it might look artistic, but it’s actually really funny. Because there is no one in the real world who says this. Everyone is in a hurry to hide their true feelings. So it’s kind of funny and there’s a sense of disparity.”
“uh? Well, yes… … ?”
The steep breath that came out of Chae Seol-ha’s mouth tickled her cheeks. Her voice was getting louder.
“No, I think you should rather laugh.”
“Hey, I get it, so now—”
“After a lot of laughter, you feel it. ‘Oh, that world is different from reality.’ And then take a step back and enjoy. That’s how I feel more and more deeply. I think I will be able to focus more on the innocence of this work, and on its transience and beauty. Do you know what I mean?”
Excited Chae Seol-ha pushes her face in, and I pull back in embarrassment. At one point, I was pushed by Chae Seol-ha, and I was pushed against the wall.
close. The hair flowing down in front of your eyes and the subtle heat emanating from the soft-looking skin are so close that you can clearly feel them.
“Hey, talk.”
“Heh, Dojin is different. Others just nod their heads no matter how much I said and they don’t understand. Later, I thought I was weird. Strange though. Anyway, anyway, it’s really good. It’s nice to have a friend who understands this. I want to be like this That’s right, after watching all of this, take a break and have another one while eating dinner… … .”
“Chaseolha!”
Seol-ha Chae heard a voice close to my scream and widened her eyes.
“Yes?”
“Ah, okay, look away.”
“ah… … ?”
Chae Seol-ha’s face, who had been looking around, turned red like a blush, and then flew backwards as if her entire body was being stung.
As she continued to step backwards, she continued to speak as if crawling against the wall.
“Ah, what is it… … .”
“Okay, it’s not like you’re doing it for a day or two.”
Her figure, who glanced at me with her head bowed shyly, was dyed orange in the dim sunset light.
You’ve probably been thinking about it since then. I want to be next to this person.
… … But why did it become like this?
because it has changed ‘Cause it’s no longer what it used to be
Unreachable words, unreasonable coercion, and distrustful gazes. Ever since one day, talking to them and Chae Seol-ha has been suffocating.
However, I endured it because I was afraid to speak up prematurely and ruin everything. I thought that someday it would be okay if I tried.
But nothing improved over time, so I left… … .
No, stop talking nonsense.
Actually, I didn’t want to retire.
I wish I could catch you I wanted you to acknowledge and rely on me like before.
Even when I knocked on the door of the company, such a sultry desire was stirring inside my heart.
but put it all down.
Every time I see them, the anger, sadness, and wind well up. I put everything down and went to work. Because I wanted to talk to you again. Because I thought that something could change with this event.
Yeah, it didn’t matter what the contract was from the beginning. Excessive excuses are nothing more than hypocrisy to hide dark feelings.
After all, I wanted them to know. Why did I decide to retire?
And then once again.
Suddenly, I felt a heavy sensation in my eyes. It hangs under the eye for a moment, flirts, and then falls off. Damn it, the swept place is stingy.
“excuse me.”
I heard something rushing over my back, and then a box of tissues tapped on my thigh.
“It swells when you rub it with your hands.”
All of a sudden, everything felt unsightly. It felt like it was rising and flowing.
“Looks like you like it. That movie.”
“… … okay.”
