48 – like a comet in your heart (9)
Han Jaejoong smiled dejectedly. He covered his face with his bloody hands. It was a motion that deserves to be called a wet face, not a dry face.
“I’m sorry! There’s nothing wrong with what Jaejoong said! I’m weak right now. It’s too hard to protect Jaejoong-ssi and me at the same time. And now I admit it! The enemy is scary! I really hate to die! I know. I know what a reasonable choice is. I know, but…!”
A bright light illuminating the reddened face that was painted with blood.
“But I couldn’t leave Jaejoong alone and run away!
The place where she flew towards her dream was none other than this battlefield.
“If I run away now, I don’t think I’ll ever reach the future I want. Even if I can guarantee my life right now, I can’t guarantee my dream. So… I’m back!”
This is the place where she has more than she thinks.
“Did you tell me not to be resentful?”
“under….”
Having an ideal did not mean that it was a place where the ideal could be achieved.
both know
It appeared excitingly, but the situation did not change.
In the end, nothing has changed since before.
What Libra is aiming for is Jaejoong Han.
This was confirmed when Red Beh ran off alone and he didn’t come after him.
That is why it is impossible for Red Vega and him to escape together.
However, both sides are seriously injured to defeat Libra.
One side was close to dying.
The crisis of death is still imminent, and there is no suitable plan to overcome this situation.
It goes against instinct and goes against rationality.
It’s a foolish act.
Even so, if you try, you are a hero.
Red Vega’s eyes were full of desperation.
It was to find an ally who would support this stubbornness.
It’s scary for anyone to go out on their own. More so if it’s the first time.
She wants to justify her actions now. You want to gain the belief that you are not wrong.
‘None other than my answer.’
When Red Vega asked if he didn’t resent him, Han Jaejoong smiled and nodded his head.
“Yes, I do not resent you.”
It was frustrating, and it was embarrassing.
That was no reason to throw her back.
I don’t know what the outcome would be.
Returning here now may have been the wrong choice.
Does not matter.
The resolution made in fear is firm.
The decision I made prior to my own life transcends any rationality or rationality.
Of course you should confirm it.
‘In the first place, why am I denying that answer?’
Arrogantly, no one has the right to force others to do certain things in order to achieve their own.
It was a stupid thing to force it all this time.
If sincere persuasion didn’t work, then there’s nothing I can do.
‘I just believe.’
This is her life and no one else’s. This is the answer she came up with after recognizing the value of her life.
It’s not that you don’t know fear and act haphazardly.
He certainly recognized his fears and acted nonetheless.
Han Jaejoong had no right to be angry at such a person, and he did not want to.
‘Even if everyone else in the world denies it, I will affirm it.’
Because that’s the guardian’s guardian.
“I affirm and support every choice you make. If you didn’t run away… if that’s what you really want… now I just believe.”
And guardians should be given the respect they deserve.
Protecting is not just life, but all their honor and dreams.
If her dream is for herself right now, she can only dedicate it.
“I was about to give up my life. The fear of dying for you was stronger than the fear of dying for me.”
Unlike on the bridge before, a true structure.
Salvation from suicide without any misunderstanding.
I entrusted my life to her who will save Taa and save herself.
“Did you come to throw away your life in vain, or to risk your life? Did you come to commit suicide or to save yourself… I’m sure it’s the latter.”
I missed the time to transform.
The miraculous power of the light reflection gradually drained away.
Now I can neither hold the belt nor move my body.
“Prevention of suicide… Now, let’s show it through action, not counseling.”
Red Vega’s pupils widened. The eyes gradually calmed down. The eyes were beautifully curved.
Was it a joke or was it just that I was happy that something was affirmed?
“Aren’t you going to say something else later?”
Upon hearing the answer, Red Vega laughed briskly.
The positivity received from others always inspires the mind.
“Okay, I’ll save you, so be prepared!”
He conveyed the words that he had just vaguely conveyed firmly and clearly.
Of course, there are still concerns.
My legs tremble and my fists lose strength.
My heart was beating like crazy. You hear the heartbeat in your ears. It was hard to breathe because of that.
It trembled like someone suffering from hypothermia, and a tight bite stopped the vibrations.
All of this was evidence of fear.
But that was not a reason to back down.
Glancing back, she examined his body carefully.
‘It’s serious.’
It was amazing to be able to talk and move now.
It was covered in blood, like someone who had accidentally overturned an inkwell, one leg was turned at a strange angle like a doll that had been mishandled, and there were bruises all over the body, and the head was also broken, and blood was stinging the eyes.
The gaze that had been looking at it so carefully stayed in one place. Around his waist and belly. The most serious part of the wound…
“…”
“…”
There were many things I wanted to say, but there was no time to do them now.
“there.”
In an instant, Han Jaejoong’s body staggered. Balancing the body with a steel frame was also quite a challenge. Even more so if the body is weak due to excessive blood loss.
Eventually, the body, which had lost all strength to stand, was pulled downward according to the order of nature.
The belt wrapped around his waist was also undone and returned to its orb shape.
Red Vega immediately ran up to him and helped him.
“…It’s okay. I can still move…”
“If you move any further from here, you’ll really die. Are you going to make my coming here a waste of time?”
Jaejoong Han shut his mouth. It was true, so I had nothing to say.
Red Vega briefly turned her gaze toward the enemy.
“It’s true. Girl, because of your wrong choice, both of them gave up their lives in vain.”
After dusting herself off, Libra widened her eyes in displeasure.
“Then I will kill you as you wish.”
A flash of golden light slowly bloomed.
‘I’m the only one who can stop that right now.’
I can’t pay attention to Han Jaejoong for a while. You should leave him alone.
Red Vega closed her eyes and put her hand on his wound. Now he bleeds too much, dies if he moves, but dies if he doesn’t move. The most urgent thing is bleeding.
“I’m sorry. I don’t want to complain about this, okay?”
“…? aaa!!!”
An ear-piercing scream erupted from Han Jaejoong. It was a scream of excruciating pain that made me think of resistance fighters being tortured.
It was because of the tremendous heat flowing from Red Vega’s raised hand.
The bleeding site was burned to stop the bleeding. It was an extreme first aid measure.
Burning pain is said to be the most powerful of human pains.
It was natural for her to scream as it stimulated her nerves.
“I’ve practiced this a few times? I was imagining it… but maybe it’ll be fine! Feel my delicate touch!”
“You’re revenge… aaa!!”
“Revenge? I’m not sure!”
“This clever fire woman…”
I was speechless at the shamelessness.
Han Jaejoong, who had been shouting, soon fell silent.
I couldn’t speak anymore because of the pain.
Extreme pain does not awaken consciousness, but rather stagnates it. Han Jaejoong’s eyes gradually closed.
He began to put weight on Red Vega’s body.
“He was a homicide counselor, damn…”
“You mean cheer up? Yes, I heard the cheering. Take a break.”
Eventually, his body lost control of itself and fell completely into her hands. At the same time, the blood flowing from his stomach stopped.
“Is it mine?”
“No, it’s an act of protection and an act of healing.”
“It’s stupid. To reduce the power yourself.”
“You can’t ask civilians to help you fight.”
“Are you pretending not to know?”
“hahahaha, I didn’t know anything in the first place. I’m an idiot who didn’t learn, so I don’t know what you’re talking about…”
Red Vega carefully laid the body down.
His tone was calm, but there was intense anger inside.
It was like oil boiling quietly.
“I only know one thing now.”
He raised his fractured left arm and clenched his fist. The exhilarating pain alerted my body several times, but I ignored it.
His right arm was also raised to chest level and clenched into a fist. Both legs are in a position to jump out at any time.
“That I have to knock you down.”
“…hahahaha.”
Libra laughed mischievously.
He opened his arms and accepted the challenge.
“Then, give it a try!”
Red Vega kicked the ground. With just that one note, he got close to Libra in an instant.
Libra didn’t bother defending. I was thinking of fully grasping the power with this blow.
puck!
His chin turned up. Her fist hit her chin.
At the end of the gaze looking at the sky, there was a doubt.
How could there be such a shock even if he didn’t take a defensive stance?
‘indeed.’
The doubt soon turned to certainty.
It’s different from when we shared fists a few days ago.
‘It’s gotten stronger.’
Libra vigorously swung her violent hand. With just one gesture, a strong gale arose that could cause the ground to pile up. Overwhelming power comparable to overwhelming light.
The appearance of a quasi-divine. It was a small light compared to what I had seen before.
Compared to what I’ve seen before.
It remains as strong as ever.
Upon sensing his movement, Red Vega jumped up. This time, fire was sprayed under the feet. It was more of an emergency than calling it a leap.
“Aren’t you overconfident about your growth?”
The problem is, Libra was also possible. With the sound of an explosion, Libra jumped up.
A shadow fell over Red Vega.
“Ugh!”
Soon after, there was a shock like a thunderbolt. Red Vega quickly turned around and defended.
bang!
A repetition of the previous scene. Red Vega crashed to the ground. As the destroyed building was shattered once more, pieces of debris and clouds of dust rose like water droplets.
The girl rose from the traces of destruction that scattered like ripples.
“Did you throw away your left arm?”
Her left arm was no longer usable. It was even pitiful to see her drooping down and tattered like a doll with cotton missing.
“Ha, it’s like a fire moth.”
Red Vega did not deny it.
It’s a fire moth.
An expression that compares people who are drawn to something as if possessed and burn their lives.
So it is often said of fools who voluntarily go into ruin.
‘It’s perfect for comparing me.’
Since the appearance of the Watcher, Red Vega has been frustrated, defeated, and shamed many times.
There are a few things I realized through this.
However, monsters are scary.
They are too powerful for their own confidence alone.
Their huge bodies evoke biological fear, and the power they wield is unreasonable.
Also, it’s unequal.
It is quite difficult for a magical girl who has to protect not only herself but also the citizens to stop them, and it is repeated every day.
Accumulated fatigue is greater here, and accumulated strength is greater there.
‘I know.’
got it right There are barriers in the world that cannot be resolved with only regret and lingering feelings.
Two, I am afraid of losing my life.
It’s a simple fact.
But I kept looking away. But now I can’t look away.
Just as strong light reveals itself even in darkness, fear that is too strong destroys stubbornness like an iron fortress.
Even a hero is afraid of death. There is nothing different from anyone else.
The instincts that all living beings must have worked the same way for her.
It means more than just instinct.
When you die, it’s over. there is no future
The ideal I dreamed of, the things I wanted to do, and I couldn’t even protect someone.
Denial of all possibilities and self.
That is why death is feared.
Third, I am afraid of not being recognized.
Did you say that man is a social creature? It was definitely what he said.
I am afraid of not having allies.
I’m afraid of not receiving someone’s affirmation.
I tremble when I think that this behavior is a mere obscenity and a nuisance. It’s unfair to eat swearing. I get angry too.
‘I’m so dedicated, why do you not admit it and keep cursing?! Praise me! Understand me! Please forgive!’ It reminds me of a little childish and vulgar thought like this.
They said that heroes should be courageous, but in the end they also needed warmth.
Red Vega had no choice but to finally admit the fears he had denied three times.
such an enlightening conclusion.
‘I’m not Sky Polaris.’
Ever since the day I came down the burning road, I have always longed for it.
I admired and dreamed of.
I wanted to be like her. I wanted to trust and follow everything she said in the interview.
However, admiration did not mean the same thing.
She and he were different people.
No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t have the same mindset, I couldn’t have the same strength, and I couldn’t stand in the same position.
‘Still a young, young magical girl.’
An idiot who learned magic late and charged without thinking.
“In order to practice justice, you need a reasonable strength. Why did you come back? Wouldn’t it be something to challenge me again after developing strength?”
There was nothing wrong with Libra’s words.
humbly accepted.
“Is he your family?”
no.
“Is he your lover?”
no.
“Is he your friend?”
no.
“What does he have to do to keep it like this? In such a terrible way, shaking his hands and legs, clashing his teeth, dangling pitiful flames, fearing.”
Red Vega clenched his fist again.
“Why did you come back?”
Are you afraid? Naturally. He is a monster, a threat to life, and a person who has tarnished his reputation. Of course it’s scary. Even now, I regret that it would have been better to run away.
Fear is hope.
Because it is an act of self-defense.
If you can back out of fear, you can protect your body and mind.
The mind and body thus protected allow one day to step toward the future again.
Fear, this fear, is hope, because it can preserve the possibilities for the future.
But it’s just hope.
“Why did you come back?”
Hope is just a possibility. something that may happen in the future. some unobserved reality.
Just a fantasy.
If hope doesn’t come true, it’s no different from a hallucination that you see as a drug.
Even if you’re happy right now, the sweet possibility that will make you shabby someday.
So fear is hope, but at the same time it is nothing.
“Do you really have to ask?”
So, one step forward knowing fear is precious.
A step forward with determination, knowing hope.
Courage blossomed in fear.
That one step.
Not a possibility, but a realization.
“When did you need a reason to protect someone?”
What was in the answer wasn’t even the magical girl’s duty that she had been given to herself.
There was no more guilt.
There was no coercion or coercion.
I didn’t push myself.
I just spit out my heart that came out naturally.
Now, here and now, I am simply reflecting on my newly refined ideal.
“I don’t need your convincing. I move for my reasons.”
Because it was already confirmed by him behind his back. Because there is someone who can answer this ideal.
So, Red Vega took a step forward.
Libra laughed at the answer.
“I see. Yes, that was the original hero. That was the justice you guys showed. I’m sorry. I insulted you.”
Both hands were filled with light. A blinding golden light prevailed, and the air shook.
The power to tear the sky and shake the earth gathered there.
The majesty of the sun fell before him, and the embrace of the earth refused to embrace him.
Before long, the two lights converged into one.
“Then die for no reason.”
Thousand Kwon Nakbun.
The light radiated out in a straight line. Grinding everything in its path, turning it into ashes.
Red Vega raised the only hand he could move now.
She, too, spewed out flames without losing.
I couldn’t call it technology. It’s not something so refined. It is not something created by controlling the violence of instinct with reason.
Desperately, recklessly, and doing my best, I just squeezed out all the magical energy I could put out and spewed out sparks.
It resembled the cry of a lost child.
It was like a huge torrent of emotions.
‘I can’t lose.’
You must not back away.
Red Vega’s footsteps took a step back.
‘I can’t lose.’
There is a person behind.
The person who worried so much about himself, but smiled and affirmed when he returned.
A person who still has a mountain of things left to say.
Red Vega stayed silent and withdrew.
“What a terrible starlight! Get erased from here! Go away! Be sacrificed for the greatness of this light!”
It was not darkness that blocked the light, but a stronger light.
Red Vega backed off.
So, backed out, backed out.
Then.
Suddenly, his heel touched something.
“It can’t be erased.”
Someone’s right hand was placed on her fire-breathing right hand. Even though it would be hot, even if it would hurt, I uploaded it regardless.
It was the realization of positivity.
Affirmed the efforts of the girls here now.
“Because I’m watching here. If you saw it, you would know it. If you knew it, you’d remember it. No matter how much you deny it, here I affirm it. I affirm that her light exists here.”
Monsters become stronger through people’s denial.
Magical girls are the opposite.
It becomes stronger through people’s positivity.
love.
The affirmation of oneself obtained through someone.
“Here, I saw the stars.”
peace.
someone’s positivity obtained through oneself.
Red Vega’s light intensified.
The flames gathered in the girl’s hands were no longer shabby.
It springs forth powerfully, as if it could embrace everything.
It was the harbinger of divinity.
