38 – Let’s be friendly (6)
As soon as the transformation was released, the feeling of guilt, skepticism, and disgust that soared made her hold the toilet and pour out the things she wanted to achieve in her body today.
As I continued to vomit like that, my body became weak, and disgust rose again as much as the lost strength.
It wasn’t a long life, but I had a strong hunch that today could be counted as one of the worst days of my life.
In the morning, I saw my acquaintances collapsed, and at lunchtime, I became a half-corpse while fighting monsters, and in the afternoon, I exercised violence like other monsters.
It’s crazy. A truly madman’s day, physically and mentally unsound.
It’s only been a day since I’ve been reminded of my duty to protect the Guardians. But what have you done now?
To be the cause of creating a harsh reality for the hero while being angry at the harsh reality that the heroes were beaten by.
How barbaric it is to try to change one’s thoughts through violence.
Even the target of the violence is still young.
A child who has not yet lived half of his life, whose mind has not yet developed properly and who does not have the right environment for that spirit to grow.
People who are obsessed with dreams do not see reality properly. This is a natural phenomenon. It’s not something that needs criticism.
Everyone has a tendency to be more confident than necessary in what they believe is right.
It takes time to change your mindset.
It hasn’t been that long since we met. There’s no way her view of heroism will change anytime soon.
The disregard for one’s own life due to a lack of self-respect would not disappear anytime soon.
Education is what should be done to people with limited knowledge. not violence.
A foolish act of telling a blind person to read a book before telling them the letters. It’s crazy.
Why didn’t you stop even though you knew?
I did it even though I knew it. There is no excuse. obvious evil.
Like the stars hidden by the clouds, the many regrets that were hidden from being drunk with the monster’s body came to mind. Nausea came again. There was nothing to spit out now.
“Oooh! Ugh!”
My throat was sore from stomach acid, but the nausea did not stop. It was similar to when the eye exposure trauma was revived. The body endlessly yearned for self-destruction, and it was difficult to stop it.
Even if he was forced to do a quest, what excuse would that be?
‘A quest is just a suggestion of a process to achieve my ideal.’
I forced myself to breathe and looked at the belt. he replied.
[That’s right. Quests are presented to reflect the Guardian’s ideals.]
One answer is still straight forward.
[If the guardian does not act, the quest is judged to be non-compliance. I would have died.]
“Then you just said that was a good thing?!”
There was no answer from Belt. It was only the silence of the machine, but it felt positive.
More than I promised that I would risk my life that day.
A quest is a kind of system created to achieve that.
In other words, one’s own subconscious might be wishing for it.
no. After realizing the truth of the quest in the first place, why didn’t you think of not following it?
Can you be sure you didn’t feel a feeble sense of accomplishment when the quest was completed?
With that name, did you really think that reality is like a game where you get paid when you complete a request?
You die when you don’t follow? If forced, can you rationalize it?
I leaned my back against the wall, clutching my head in guilt. The house smelled awful today. The musty smell was unpleasant. I tried to open the window, but I gave up because I didn’t have the strength to move my legs again.
I felt disgusted with myself for holding such sadness as if I was a victim. I watched as my mind ate away at my body, thinking that it wouldn’t be bad to be silently immersed in self-doubt.
Why didn’t I feel strange? Even if it’s to achieve an ideal, there must be some things that as a person shouldn’t let go of.
It’s like a monster who ignores ethics for his own purposes.
After biting his trembling lips to calm himself down, he asked Belt.
“Hey….”
[What is it?]
“Are there any side effects of transformation?”
This is a question that should have been asked a long time ago, but I hadn’t thought of it.
“If you overexpose yourself to starlight… like a monster and a way of thinking.”
[I do not know.]
“…What?”
It was absurd.
Looking at the way the quest works, it seems to be reading the future, but don’t you think it makes sense to not know?
“You can see the future. What kind of bullshit is that?”
[Exactly, I’m not sure.]
Belt replied calmly.
[Effects from overexposure to starlight vary from person to person. They range from those who end up dead to those who have no repercussions. I’m not sure what case the current guardian would fall into.]
I wondered what kind of bullshit that a guy who reads the future couldn’t be sure. The uneasy imagination came to mind even more.
This transformation may not be safe.
Either the body is broken, the consciousness is affected, or it could be both.
The problem is, even so, you can’t stop transforming now.
It wasn’t just the quest, he also had his own will.
It takes strength to do more.
It would be foolish to throw it away in order to divert one’s eyes from uncertainty.
The road has already gone. Inertia is strong, unstoppable.
There was one more anxiety.
It became difficult to judge the belt as an ally.
Who made this belt in the first place?
“Who made you?”
[Couldn’t answer. Guardian’s Memories are currently not active. The answer becomes possible after finding the memory later.]
Is it his memory again?
What I got before was the memory of the parallel world. The image of myself reading webtoons.
Looking at that, I don’t think this belt is a product of simple science.
Is it related to Polaris, the author of the webtoon, in the heyday of magical girls?
I do not know.
My head hurt.
In the first place, how does this belt predict the future and direct quests?
I know that forcing me to act is the seed I sowed, so I have to reap it, but the content of that quest is very strange.
A look that completely ignores ethical rules and only rushes to achieve the ideal.
It’s like a monster.
‘Is what the belt tells you to do as a monster?’
Not as a guardian watcher of guardians, but as Ursa Major, the monster of Ursa Major.
A monster that deviated from the human path, acting without hesitation in anything just to achieve its goal.
Even though it has a human appearance, it is no different from a monster inside, it is truly a monster.
In the meantime, he had focused his attention on the fear of death or abnormalities and accepted the quest’s instructions without question.
It didn’t work.
What will you achieve by acting without fear? I had to move on with enough fear in the future that I did not know what results I would achieve by doing it and what sacrifices would be made in the process.
I regret it. But there is no turning back. Something has already been done.
After reflection, you can only do better.
I forced my body to stand up. I was tired, but not sleepy. I wasn’t feeling well. My heart was still pounding as if I had witnessed the tragedy just before.
Even though I already knew it couldn’t be reversed, my body couldn’t. The nervousness of not forgetting the shock did not go away.
‘Disgusting.’
The feeling of bewilderment struck again.
I wanted to do something to clear my brain.
‘There is someone else who would have been most shocked, but what am I?’
opened the window
The evening was bathed in pleasant moonlight. Seeing that made me feel a little refreshed.
It was the light that imitated the stars that turned and turned around.
The unpleasant smell of the past day vibrated in the room. There was a faint smell of vomit left as a trace of nausea, and a musty smell strong enough to cover it, or a stinky smell of dust. The peculiar fishy smell of monsters and the smell of blood flowing through the window.
Nothing was a very pleasant scent.
I put the blue moonlight on my face and thought about what I could do this night.
A time when people’s eyes are hidden, so a time when things that stray from people’s path run amok.
The time when man-eating madmen roam.
It was perfect for killing monsters. While staring blankly out the window, I met an animal-like eye. He licked his lips to see if he looked like an appetizing prey.
Are you a cannibalistic monster? Soon it giggled. It was like laughing. Old memories came flooding back.
People’s eyes were unpleasant even for a monster, and the ridicule was even worse. But it wasn’t as nauseous as before. Now I’ve run out of spit.
I moved my body and headed for the front door.
Decided what to do this night.
“yes?”
When I opened the front door, a black envelope dangled from the doorknob outside. On the envelope was a note written on a post-it note.
– I heard all the noises. This is medicine. There are also drinks. There are also jellies. go to the hospital
Slightly awkward sentences and letters.
Inside the bag were medicines along with some food to help with dehydration.
Neighbors, I thought I was a noisy crazy bitch, but surprisingly, they are full of compassion.
My heart was slightly moved by the warm consideration that did not suit this desolate modern society.
‘It’s human beings to be so kind to strangers… What did I just do?’
And again, I felt a sense of wonder. It was obvious that I would suffer for the next few days or years.
After putting the envelope in the house, I moved my feet again. It wouldn’t be right to leave a monster unattended when you have such a nice neighbor. Having increased the rationality of my actions, I hastened my steps.
It didn’t take very long.
I was drawn to it, and the monster was found closer than I thought.
got the belt For a moment, I felt a bit uneasy.
‘Side effects of transformation… I’m sure there are.’
The original situation always has to assume the worst.
There is no way that an ordinary person’s body is overexposed to starlight and there are no side effects. Unlike magical girls, this one can’t even use magic.
Magical girls purify starlight into magical power and use it.
If you look at the word purification, it must be clear that there is something bad about it.
But as I decided earlier, I needed strength to achieve my ideals.
I grabbed the belt and attached it to my waist.
“I hope to see you at last.”
Someone’s voice came from behind the monster. man? Are you a civilian That being said, there was no embarrassment even though there were monsters.
“My comrade!”
A figure hidden in the shadows of the night started running toward us.
“Tracking!”
[Pursue the truth.]
A bright light rose from his body.
Seen in the light, his figure bore the constellations of the compass.
