130 – Life of Downfall (3)
“What do you think? Don’t you want to be like that kid? “It doesn’t seem like there are any inconveniences in living there.”
Jaejoong Han coldly expressed his intention to decline Botis’ proposal.
“Don’t talk nonsense.”
Monsters are monsters that easily kill people for their own purposes. Also, because humans’ negative minds are essential for survival, they only think of humans as food or tools.
Botis’ proposal is nothing more than a call to sacrifice the lives of others instead of one’s own.
“If you were going to offer something like that as a solution, you shouldn’t have come.”
Han Jaejoong lost his parents’ lives at the hands of them in the past, and even now, he has seen countless people around him suffer from monsters.
Just imagining not only being the same as them but essentially being the same as them made me sick.
“Ha… Well, that’s what I should have expected when I found you. I was stupid. It’s all my fault. Then.”
Han Jaejoong blatantly mocked Bottis. He even felt ashamed that he had come looking for something like this as his last hope.
“hehehe….”
Botis smiled leisurely, as if he had anticipated his reaction. She knew in advance about Han Jaejoong’s hatred of monsters, so she could have easily predicted that this offer would be rejected.
But this leisure did not come from such simple preparation for rejection.
“Don’t get so worked up.”
Botis was relaxed, as if his every move was being predicted. It was as if he was turning around and saying that this rejection was meaningless.
“Anyway, it’s not a story that can be decided by your will.”
“…What?”
Botis handed a wooden cup to Han Jae-joong, who was embarrassed.
“What are we going to do now…?”
“Don’t drink now, listen to my story and then decide whether to drink or not. “My story is not over yet.”
Botis stopped Jaejoong Han from refusing the glass. If it were normal, he would have advised me to drink the unknown contents of this cup. Now Botis was cautious, as if the liquid he had handed over was poisonous.
The benevolent voice became more majestic, and the eyes hidden behind the hood seemed sharp.
Han Jaejoong felt a shiver run down his spine for a moment.
From noble mtl dot com
“Listen to everything and make a decision. Just because you don’t have much time left, there’s no reason for me to be considerate of your day today. “Do not cause unnecessary waste to your life.”
I once again realized that what was in front of me was not a kind woman or anything, but a monster who could tear her body to pieces with just a single wave of her hand. His untransformed body was so fragile that it felt like it would be torn apart by the breeze at any moment.
“Okay, take it first.”
Well, how strange is it that you meet a monster and don’t transform? It seems foolish to have the means to protect it but not use it.
Instead of accepting the glass, Han Jaejoong tried to reach for his iron ball.
As his hand touched his cold belt, Jaejoong Han changed the direction of his outstretched hand and calmly took the glass that Botis had given him and placed it in front of his lap.
“Good job.”
Botis smiled warmly again. Unlike him, Han Jaejoong’s expression became as cold as a stone.
‘Am I crazy?’
Han Jaejoong blamed himself. It wasn’t because he obediently followed the monster’s words. He was scolding himself for trying to transform.
He tried to transform right away, no matter how long ago he was suspected of transforming shortening his lifespan.
‘It’s not some kind of addiction….’
In an instant, a bully flashed through his mind. The Librasan drug addict has been covered in many news and documentaries in the past. Commonly known as ‘light guy’. They were dying because they were addicted to starlight.
When Han Jaejoong thought about how he was changing, cold sweat naturally broke out on the back of his neck. Gradually, he became no longer normal, and simple facts ensnared him.
“Have you ever thought about it? About this transformation system and its cost. This is not a power that an ordinary person can obtain by making an oath. “Any reward comes with a definite price.”
“….”
“Like I said before. This is Ungnyeo, a power my friend created for magical girls. The human being who was chosen by the stars from the beginning was also a means of choosing the stars. This was not considered in the first place when it was written by an ordinary person like you. “It’s no different from an error or a bug.”
“But how can I…”
“I want to tell you that too, but… Unfortunately, I don’t know. I’m not a producer. I’m just a third party who shared my dreams with a friend. Oh, by the way, I also enjoyed that transformation a bit, so it’s not like it’s completely unrelated.”
Botis chuckled and raised his head as if immersed in memories.
“As you can see from me, the transformation system has side effects even for magical girls. As negative thoughts grow, it becomes easier to become a monster. “Amnesia, which would not normally occur due to the fall of a magical girl, is an added bonus.”
That meant that side effects could also occur to Jo Ayun. Each piece of information weighed heavily on Han Jaejoong’s heart.
“As you may have noticed, the transformation system is not complete. Ungnyeo died before she could complete it. Unfortunately, most of my memories were also erased when I turned into a monster.”
“The way to revive it is….”
“Nothing.”
Botis resolutely hung up.
“Now that I’ve become a monster, I have to chase only the dreams I can see. I don’t have the energy to chase an invisible dream. Memories that have disappeared, like dreams forgotten in sleep, never come back. Most of the memories from my time as a person have disappeared like a dream on a summer night. “Now the only memory I have left is the time I spent with Ungnyeo.”
Han Jaejoong was lost in doubt. There is clearly a contradiction in her remarks. Botis said she has clearly regained her memory and is now able to relay a number of pieces of information. But what I’m saying now is something like that.
There was only one answer: Botis was lying. Han Jaejoong was hopeful that some of the information she shared might be a lie.
“I know what you’re probably wondering about. “It would be absurd to say that I lost my memory until now and now I remember it, but now I’m saying I can’t.”
These words seem to penetrate Han Jaejoong’s psychology. He got annoyed for no reason.
“But there is no contradiction. I lost my memory twice. Once while turning into a monster. Once after becoming a monster. The memory that comes to mind is the latter. Electronic memories do not come back. Forever.”
Botis’s next words shattered Han Jaejoong’s hopes. If we look at those words alone, there is no lie in sight, and it means that everything Botis has said so far is true.
But not everything can be trusted yet.
The situation seems so natural that it seems manipulated. I certainly can’t find lies in her statements, but at the same time, I can’t find any evidence either. We cannot dismiss the possibility that she added lies to make her own statement credible.
“How can I believe that…”
Before Jaejoong Han finished speaking, Botis lowered his hood. He took off his long, cloak-like hood and exposed his stomach.
Unlike other monsters, it was quite embarrassing for her to take off her clothes as she had a female body, but Han Jae-joong focused on her body without any intention of turning his eyes away. There was a huge scar on her stomach that caught her eye.
There was a large scar in one corner of her stomach, as if she had been pierced by an object such as a spear or stake. There were ominous purple marks around the scar, reminding me of a person who had been poisoned.
“Scorpio. Or a fishhook spot. The beast’s tail has a poison that pulls out something from the person it stings. It’s like when you catch a fish by fishing. “What I was robbed of was my memory.”
Scorpio’s monster. Jaejoong Han was familiar with the giant beast, one of the three great monsters along with the lion and the snake owner, as he had seen it in the original work.
Not only memories, but also magical power, personality, mind, desires, and even lifespan can be sifted through. While the other two beasts primarily cause physical destruction, the scorpion causes loss.
The purple spot engraved like a sun pattern was proof that he had been attacked by Scorpio. The possibility that Bottis’ testimony was true has increased.
“Well, it doesn’t matter whether you believe it or not. “But my selfish heart is hoping that you will believe me.”
Botis lowered the clothes he had rolled up and smiled bitterly. The wound on his abdomen was covered with a cloth.
“I am someone who has already experienced the side effects of transformation. So I can sympathize with you even more. I can understand your concerns. So that’s what I’m saying. “I don’t want you to lose.”
“There will be no benefit for you by being kind to me…”
“Because I am responsible for not taking care of my friends properly.”
Botis’ voice was full of self-deprecation. Now, for the first time, I felt human in this monster she was.
“So, I’m doing it. There is no benefit. “Because I can satisfy myself by being kind to you.”
“….”
“Okay… Then shall we talk about the side effects of transformation again? Didn’t I tell you earlier that this isn’t a story that can be decided by your will? And, I said earlier that Sagittarius was a human just like you.”
A gentle breeze blew once again. The wind was very cold, as if it was still winter.
“Just as you insisted on being human, that child was the same. He promised to remain human like Sky Polaris until the end. But in the end it meant nothing.”
“…No way.”
Han Jaejoong thought of the worst possible family.
“The more he transformed, the closer his body got to death, and the moment his ego and body completely collapsed, his corpse was reborn as a monster.”
And that worst assumption turned into fact at this moment. Botis did not feel the slightest hint of lying.
He was solemn, like a doctor informing a patient of a disease, and his eyes were full of compassion.
“So, I’m giving you that cup right now. It contains milk that turns you into the monster you’ve been wary of for a long time. “It’s different from the ones we’ve given so far, and it’s like a poison to humans.”
Han Jaejoong was startled and looked at the glass that had been placed in front of his lap. Although it did not look much different from the cup I had received so far, the efficacy was completely different.
“But that milk is also special. I made it myself. If you drink it, you will not be an ordinary monster, but will be able to become a monster with clear reason and memories. There, my starlight is more concentrated. “When you turn into a monster, I can control that change.”
Botis moved his body a little and placed his hand on top of Han Jaejoong’s hand. It was a loving hand, like that of a mother.
“Listen carefully, child. This is an opportunity. A chance to become a monster you can control. If the worst outcome is the same anyway, wouldn’t it be better to choose the lesser evil? Even if you become a monster who has lost his mind, I can control you.”
She squeezed Han Jaejoong’s hand even harder.
“I will take good care of you so that you do not hurt the children you cherish. I won’t let anyone get hurt by your hands. How is it? “Isn’t this a good condition?”
“….”
“Think about it carefully. Think about the future ahead of you. “You don’t want to have the blood of the person you love on your hands, do you?”
“….”
Are you going to become a somewhat normal monster here and now? Or will you live waiting for death and monster transformation that may come at any moment? I was given a terrible easy choice that I wanted to choose the most out of all my life so far.
Han Jaejoong was worried. What to say. Even now, Belt remained silent. After he realized his fate, he could no longer hear any quests or interference from Belt.
What does that iron ball want from himself? Why was this important fact not made known until now, and if they knew this end, why did they let me chase my dream until now? Even now, Han Jaejoong couldn’t figure out the intention behind that.
“… Well, I guess I’m still confused.”
Botis withdrew his grip and stood up.
“Keep the flute I gave you. Call me again later when you remember. “I will wait forever.”
The scenery that looked like a wide meadow spread out on top of a mountain swayed with the wind and disappeared.
“…I’m sorry.”
Even until the very end, Botis pitied him.
She and the landscape she was in were completely erased, and the world surrounding Han Jae-joong became a dull and dark back alley again.
Han Jaejoong was still sitting.
“…I’m going to spin.”
**
Han Jaejoong moved from his position and walked on the bridge over the river. The winter wind blowing from the river was very cold, which made me feel rewarded for wearing thick clothes today.
He suddenly stopped walking and leaned against the railing, staring endlessly at the river. As he watched the rushing river, he wished that this trouble could pass by with such force.
“…Holy sh*t.”
Now that he had found his dream, he chased after the power to achieve it, and now that he had gained the power, the barrier called life stood in his way. How can the world oppress me like this? Did you sell any country in your past life?
For the first time in a long time, Han Jaejoong smiled weakly as he remembered himself in a parallel world.
“hahahaha, sh*t.”
“Oh, no!”
“Kitchen!”
Suddenly something flew towards him and hit him. At that moment, a strong pain was felt in his ribs, and Han Jae-joong was unable to handle the force of the impact and fell down on the side of the road. Jaejoong Han was confused as to what had happened and looked at something that hit him.
“Now, you can’t commit suicide…!”
“…Mr. Vega?”
I believe those doubts were resolved long ago.
