Chapter 39 – Tilted Balance (2)
Even at that moment, her lips continued to approach. Her forgotten unrequited love was about to turn into a false love after a long time.
But she couldn’t possibly allow that to happen. I put my index finger in front of her lips as I freed her hand.
“Why…?”
Lena questioned in a small voice as her rough skin instead of her soft skin. I pushed her questioning face away as it was.
“Stop it.”
“Is it because you’re shy? If that’s the case, don’t worry. No one’s watching.”
“You know that’s not the case.”
“Then…You haven’t forgiven me yet. I understand. It’s strange that you’re approaching me so suddenly after pouring out such mean words. I must have been in a hurry. I…”
“Did Rogeria make it?”
I asked directly and directly. Lena’s hand was still on the back of her hand. Even so, she let go of her pretense to the end.
“I told you. It has nothing to do with him at all.”
“Still, you haven’t talked about how you escaped. It’s unlikely that the Duke would have used such a complex plan to let you go on purpose, and I don’t think you’ll be able to get out on your own. There’s only one possibility left.”
“Lope. There are more complex circumstances hidden than you think. But that’s never…”
“Lena.”
Without even realizing it, a deep sigh leaked out. I raised my head and searched through the memories of the past.
“It’s been a while since we’ve known each other. Do you remember Lena?”
“Well. I don’t know… But it’s been so long I can’t remember.”
“Yeah. I don’t remember too much. But it’s been a while. Now I can tell you’re lying just by looking at your face.”
At my words, Lena shut her mouth. Meanwhile, a buzzing sound came from my ear. I ignored the sound and continued talking nonchalantly.
“Even if you own a dog, if you’ve been with her for a year, you can read her owner’s expression. The same goes for Lena. I wonder if I can’t figure out your lies, if no one else does?”
“…”
“I thought you would know me as well as I know you. But it didn’t. Like you said then, you really only considered me as a good tool to use.”
“Lope… I…”
“So you must have thought that if I just said I love you, I would just walk away without a second thought, right?”
“Ah… No!”
Lena shook her head violently and grabbed my arm again. Then she tried and she smiled and looked up at me.
“I really mean it. I love you. That’s why I’m here. Everyone makes mistakes, right? I’ve been wrong before. So please trust me, okay?”
“Do you really love me?”
“Yes. I love you.”
“Really?”
At that moment, without warning, I pushed her against her wall. It wasn’t even that hard, but Lena let out her screams in surprise.
“Kyaaak…!”
“…”
But before she could even stop screaming, I grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and pulled her into her arms. A hot breath rushed across his cheeks, causing a red flush. Unlike Saya, her round ears could be seen quivering slightly.
“Rope…”
“Stay still.”
I gave a warning in a low voice, then let out another breath. And very slowly, he brought his hand to his waist. The thin hem of his dress fluttered in the cold wind.
“Wait Lope…”
“It’s okay. Stay still.”
I thought it was a kind voice. But Lena closed her eyes tightly and her whole body trembled. Her attitude was that she couldn’t stand the situation.
Each time my hand approached her little by little, her trembling got worse. Eventually, as soon as her fingertips touched the hem of her dress, Lena finally screamed.
“I told you to stop!”
“…”
But my hand didn’t stop. Then Lena clenched her teeth as if she were about to spit out a curse. Even so, I put my hand on the hem of her dress.
And he removed the beetle that was clinging to it.
“Uh…?”
Lena opened her mouth in a daze as I hurled her beetle away. After letting her go, I patted her hand.
“It’s cold. I need to go in quickly.”
“Lope…I’m sorry. I…”
“I get the rough idea. Rogeria sent you, right? Get something from me. But I don’t have one, so don’t do anything meaningless.”
“Wait a minute.”
“Either go back or stay here, it’s okay to do whatever you like. But don’t think about approaching me any more. We’ve already ended before. Right?”
“Lope!”
As I was about to open the door and go in, Lena screamed and pulled my shoulder. When I turned her head, Lena was staring at me with her whole body shaking.
“Yeah…That’s right. Actually, that was the purpose. But what’s wrong with that…? Is it wrong to want to live? As your only friend, is it wrong to want that kind of favor?”
“Because I don’t have the ability.”
“Don’t lie!
“Be quiet. People will hear you.”
“That means I’m right, right?”
Lena lowered her stance abruptly. She then said, holding me tight by the collar.
“We can live. If we go with you, we can survive. Roselia said that? If you have that pattern or something, both you and I can escape to the land of the elves.”
“It’s twisted like that.”
“Yes, that’s right. But…Do I need to? It’s just the two of us leaving. Just like always. We’re going to go to that island and live happily together, huh?”
“…”
“Why there is no answer. I’m sure you don’t intend to go there alone. You’ll need someone by your side. Is there anyone else besides me? Someone who will truly love you. Is there anyone else besides me?”
“I…”
“Is there anyone else who will love you other than me?”
Lena’s question raised an unexpected topic. Until now, I had never thought of such a thing, being weighed down by the weight of being the last survivor of mankind. Not the one who should survive, but the one I have to live.
So, someone I can love.
Is there such a person in this world?
…
That…
“I’m the only one. Lope.”
“…”
“The person who made you laugh. The person who made you happy. The person who was closest to you than anyone else. That was only me.”
Lena smiled as if she was about to cry. She then lifted her arms, which trembled as if to embrace me.
“You don’t have to think hard at all. You liked me, right? You may have lost faith once, but it won’t be that difficult to rebuild it. So give me a chance.”
“What chance?”
“Give me a chance to love you.”
Her earnest heart spilled out into tears. But it wasn’t a feeling she had, it was boiled from her desire to live. There was no meaning to it.
So her voice slowly faded and then dissipated into the air. In the meantime, I carefully chewed Lena’s words. A person who can love me Because I’m the person I want to be with
I don’t know who it will be, but I’m pretty sure who it won’t be.
“I’m sorry, Lena.”
“Yes?”
“I guess you can’t.”
I completely turned around at the last word. Then Lena grabbed my arm this time and wouldn’t let go.
“What…What are you talking about, Lope! Don’t say something out of your mind. Is it because of what you pushed away earlier? That…I didn’t mean it. Let’s start over. Huh?”
“I’m serious. I don’t think I can go with you.”
“Then who are you going to go with! And are you really going to let me die? You don’t mean to. No matter how much you hate me, you don’t want to let me do that!”
“It’s not that I hate you now.”
“…”
“It’s just that you’re no longer important to me.”
“Lope!”
“Rebecca, aren’t you sleeping yet? Day?”
I opened the door with Lena on her arm. Then, Rebecca, who was still drying the day, turned her head this way.
“What’s going on?”
“Oops. The captain is here. So let’s finish the roll call today.”
“I’m still not doing anything strange. There’s one more person here who needs to be called, so can you take care of it?”
“Oh. Why are you accepting it? I understand, senior. Oh, Saya-unnie seems to be sleeping already. Senior, please go and sleep.”
“Yes. Please.”
I managed to get my hand out of Lena’s arms and walk away from the spot. She then pulled away from me and called my name in her weeping voice.
“Rope…”
“…”
“I…!”
A voice that never seemed to escape clung to him. But I didn’t listen and went straight into the room. In the end, Lena’s last words faded without a trace, with her waist cut off.
“Whoa…”
I entered the room and took a long breath. It’s not a good habit to continue having unwanted reunions with your childhood friend. Even in my poor heart. And even when I feel like I can’t get any better.
Hugging it all, I looked towards the bed and saw Saya curled up on one side. Are you sleeping already? It was a careless attitude in this situation, but in a way, that was Saya’s strength. That we don’t have to doubt everyone like we humans do.
But unlike her, I had to live with her doubts every moment of her life. That’s why I told Haru and Rebecca-san about Lena earlier. It might be easier to just kick him out, but I didn’t know what to do if I did, so it seemed better to leave it to the two of us.
I had so much to worry about that I couldn’t relax even now when I went to bed. Besides, I didn’t think I’d be able to sleep at all tonight. So I sat down on the bed and leaned my back against the wall. There was a yawn, but no drowsiness.
“…”
A person who can love you
As I stayed up all night without sleep, the words I had heard earlier lingered in my head. As Lena said, the person who would go to the land of the elves with her meant a partner with whom she would spend the rest of her life. In a land where even the race is unfamiliar, the only thing you can trust is the companion you came with.
Since it was something I had never considered, vague thoughts came to my mind. From that point of view, who should I choose?
If you go there with Haru, at least you won’t be bored. I’ll be out all day, and I’ll be talking about what happened that day all night. If you go with Rebecca, you will feel confident. And Saya…
“…”
When my thoughts reached that point, I looked down at the sleeping Saya’s profile. Come to think of it, why did Saya give me this pattern? It’s a land of my own people, but since I’m of mixed blood and spent most of my time in the land of humans, no one but my father would know about it. Besides, even that father must be awkward.
That said, in the end, I was the only one left for Saya in that land, but did he choose me knowing that? Of course you would have known Because Saya is smart.
Is he really okay with a guy like me?
I suddenly remembered what had happened that day. The way he joked around and laughed out loud. It was the first time he had ever seen Saya play a prank on someone since the days when he was mistaken for being mute.
And I was the first person Saya spoke to. Even making direct eye contact with him. It was also the first time he revealed his identity. It’s a presumptuous guess, but Saya’s many first opponents may actually be me. Even giving gifts to his friends.
And that’s me too.
The person Lena said about who is close to me now. And the one who made me laugh.
Because you have to buy it
Actually, I still have that candy from that time. It wasn’t always to the point of carrying it around, but it would still be in the back of my backpack. At first, I thought of it as a last-ditch emergency food and passed it by, but as time passed, it turned into a kind of talisman.
What do you really think of me?
And which one am I
Meanwhile, Saya was still sleeping peacefully. His shoulders, which rose and fell with his thin breath, looked especially small today. If you hold it in your arms, it really seems to fit inside. It must have been the same the other time I was caught falling from a tree.
…If you touch the skin, it seems to be very soft.
Suddenly, Saya’s white cheeks stood out. Seeing that I only see things like this in the dark at night, it seems that I also have a pervert-like habit. Unlike the nape of Lena’s neck earlier, it seemed to be very soft to the touch.
I was so pathetic to myself for thinking like this. But my hand was already moving. A long time ago, a man said to be careful with his fingertips, and now I am just like that.
Still, I slowly brought her hand to her cheek. It was a very timid attitude, like a child who is afraid of dogs trying to pet her puppy on the head. Little by little, little by little, the fingers eventually touched Saya’s cheek with a tap.
The touch was as expected, soft enough to cause a shudder. I knew I had to stop here, but I didn’t stop and stroked it. Somehow, I felt my body temperature rise a little.
And Saya’s cheeks also turned red little by little. It was so cute that I was stroking it for a while when a voice suddenly came out from Saya’s side.
“Rope.”
“Yes…?”
“…It tickles me.”
“…!!!”
At that moment, I jumped up in surprise and slammed the back of my head against the wall. Embarrassment, shame. And the pain that covered it all spread white in front of my eyes.
“Ouch!”
“Lo… Lope are you okay? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“No, you’re not sorry…!”
While rubbing the back of my head, I looked at Saya while talking gibberish. Her cheeks were still red, but unlike me, she looked calm.
“I’m sorry though. Are you okay? Doesn’t it hurt?”
“Uh…Yeah. But since when have you been awake?”
“I couldn’t sleep in the first place, so I stayed awake. But you seemed to be worried, so I just kept quiet. Should I have talked to you?”
“Ah…No, it’s not your fault. Never…”
I bowed my head in dejection. In the meantime, Saya also put her hand on her cheek, as if belatedly embarrassed. There was an awkward silence for a moment.
However, it was clear that it would become more awkward if it stayed like this. Saya knew that all too well, so he, as expected, brought up the story first.
“So what happened? I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but there was a loud noise earlier.”
“That’s it. I had a problem with Lena. I have to tell you about it.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Lena knew about the existence of the elves too. So I think she should be extra careful in front of them.”
“Do you know about me?”
“No. It’s not that far, but he seems to know about the pattern. So you have to be careful not to get caught.”
“…I see.”
At my words, Saya suddenly smiled lightly. Then, in a slightly awkward tone, she opened her mouth.
“Are you close to Lena? It seemed like that for some reason.”
“We used to be friends. Before the world was like this.”
“What is it? It’s true that only women really know.”
“That’s…Is it so. Well…”
“…”
I thought it was a trivial story, but Saya lowered her head as if thinking about something. And I repeated my story over and over again.
“…Ria and Lena also… Know…”
Suddenly, Saya’s face darkened. An agony of something I couldn’t understand occupied her head.
“Rope.”
“Yes?”
After thinking about it for a long time, Lena opened her mouth in a heavy voice. And she asked with a very hardened expression.
“Can you tell me more about Lena and Roselia?”
