171 – 51. Let’s go back (5)
Little Elijah was sitting.
Mom on the left.
On the right sat young Judas.
A garden with lush green grass.
The surrounding area is full of red anemones.
The full moon in the sky is as bright as the sun.
Elijah laughed.
This place was heaven.
She was in such a good environment, with someone she liked and who also liked her, that it couldn’t help but be paradise for her.
Judah and Mary also laughed when they saw Elijah like that.
They were always curious about Elijah’s well-being, and they lavished her with her favorite words and actions.
Hold her hand, hug her, and eat together.
Judah and Mom.
The two took turns feeding them.
Being hugged by Judah and listening to her mother’s story.
Sometimes, she would be held by her mother and listen to Judah’s stories.
Sometimes we would take a walk together in this garden full of anemones.
He held Judas in his right hand and Mary in his left hand.
It was like that every day.
Elijah was filled with happiness.
As if she could still smile even if she died like this.
At the same time, she did not want to die.
If she dies leaving paradise behind, she will inevitably fall into hell.
She didn’t want to let go of this numbingly sweet reality.
It was such a precious time that I wanted to hold her tightly in my arms and hide it so that no one could take it from me.
Because she was so precious, Elijah suddenly became afraid.
What if this world ends?
Or is this all a dream, and will it suddenly shatter?
There was no way she could be so happy for nothing.
She says she is an illegitimate child.
A being born with original sin.
A person who deserves to be hated.
No wonder her family hated her so much.
He also killed Judah’s family.
Even if it wasn’t really him.
Even if it is not of her own will.
There are too many sins to bear.
Then Elijah fell into confusion. She
The only people she has in this world are herself and her mother, Judah.
But what about family? What kind of family do you have?
Judah’s family? Who is that again?
Judas and Mary hugged Elijah whenever he was so confused.
She strokes and soothes.
She whispers that it’s okay.
He said you can forget all about that.
Elijah found her composure and smiled again. She was so anaesthetized by happiness that she was able to ignore her discomfort.
For example, that steel frame that stretches out as if splitting the sky.
Like a birdcage.
Or, that little birdcage that follows you wherever you go.
The small birdcage placed on the bedroom window sill was pitch black.
I couldn’t see the inside at all.
And the outside of this world, which is like a large bird cage, is also pitch black.
The bright moon illuminates the ground, but beyond is a dark void.
Elijah was interested in the two similar objects.
Judas is by her side. Her mom is there.
The body heat of those two covers you like a blanket.
In that case, any problem was okay.
*
“Aaaaahhh!”
Elijah screamed.
Her body was hot.
She was on fire.
She couldn’t escape.
She was tied to a wooden pole.
Her arms were tied with them spread out.
Like a cross.
Burning from beneath her feet.
There is a person in front of her.
Judas on the right.
Maria on the left.
Two people held torches.
They set themselves on fire.
Even as she struggled in pain, Elijah could not blame them.
I was just curious.
Why?
Then, my vision suddenly changed.
I found myself standing on the left side of the cross.
Instead, Judas was now bound and burned.
“Kwaaaaak-!”
He screamed.
Elijah stared blankly at the torch in her hand.
She started the fire herself.
Judas was in pain because it was his own fault.
“Ah….”
Realizing her sin, she sighed and looked up at Judah.
She is the one who saved her, and she hurts for her own sin.
The skin flows down in golden flames.
Red skin is revealed.
It burns with a terrible appearance.
He was sick because of me, but his body was clean and without a single wound.
He was paying the price for his sins on his own behalf.
It shouldn’t be like this.
Magic doesn’t even work.
It shouldn’t be like this.
Elijah muttered like a crazy person and tried to move on.
But her feet didn’t budge as if they were nailed to the ground.
She stood in place and all she could do was look at him.
“Aaaaah!”
Elijah squeezed his eyes shut as he heard her scream.
When she surfaced again she changed her position again.
Right side of the cross.
This time it was Maria who was hung.
Her body burned with golden flames.
She is the same color as the fire she uses.
There were two differences from before.
First, Judah stood by her own side.
This is different from before, where three people stood on each side of the cross in a slightly diagonal direction, forming a triangular composition.
Second, Maria did not scream.
Even though her shell was breaking down, she just smiled.
I look at Elijah with a kind and warm smile.
Golden fire reflects and shimmers in her black eyes.
She looks just like she did when she used her magic.
Her mother said, smiling kindly.
“I’m sorry.”
“… ….”
“I’m sorry, Mom.”
Why?
Why are you apologizing to me?
It’s all my fault….
“It’s all mom’s fault, so don’t cry…” .”
Before he knew it, Elijah was crying.
Her tears poured down like a flood.
Her throat was so tight that it was difficult for her to breathe.
I rubbed her face with my hands, shaking her chest as if she was hiccuping.
“Well…. Sigh… !”
Mom is on fire.
I was the one who started that golden fire.
Elijah knows.
She once resented her mother.
When she knew that
She had stayed by her side.
When she realized that she had been deceiving her all along and was secretly protecting her.
She was surprised, shocked, and for a moment, just a little resentful.
I’ll tell you.
You could have told me.
Anytime.
Whatever the situation.
No matter how many lies she has deceived herself.
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If only it would let her know that whatever she was, she was alive.
If I were by her side, she would be ready to forgive me for everything just for that one thing.
If she had told me earlier, she would have done better.
She resented her mother a little for not doing so.
Very little.
That small spark of resentment has grown so big that it is burning her mother.
“Keueuuuuu… !”
“It’s okay. “It’s not your fault.”
“Uuuuu-!”
Elijah violently shook her head. She tried to move forward, but her body wouldn’t move.
She struggled and eventually fell.
Sharp.
Hold her bottom like that.
She struggles to somehow crawl out in front of her.
But she can’t move.
“Aaaaahhh!”
Elijah screamed and pounded on her floor.
Her little hands were torn and bleeding.
Then at some point, the surroundings became quiet.
I raised my head.
Her burning mother was staring straight at her.
Right next to him, Judas looked down at him.
Eyes brightly opened.
Veins sprouted like red spider webs on the whites of my eyes.
Both of them have eyes that have never been shown to them before.
“Hike!”
Elijah, startled, took her breath away.
“It’s because of you.”
Mom said.
“You killed him.”
Judas also said.
“I, I, I…” .”
“If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have died. Because you inherited the power of fire…. Because she was born with her damned talent!”
“You killed all of our family and friends. Even if it meant getting beaten to death, you shouldn’t have signed it! It’s all because of you! “You killed it!”
The two who were venting their anger had already become Elijah.
Elijah pours out verbal abuse and swear words toward Elijah.
Elijah crouching. Elijah swears.
Who is Elijah?
Who am I?
“Die! “It’s all your fault!”
“You must die!”
Elijah said to Elijah,
Before I knew it, the surrounding area was full of Elijahs who had multiplied into dozens and hundreds.
Everyone curses at themselves in the same voice.
Elijah tried to hide by hugging her knees, but she was of no use.
Elijah raised up Elijah.
Dozens of people gathered together.
Lift Elijah up and hang him on a burning pole.
Tie it up.
The golden flames burn fiercely again.
“Die! Die!”
“Die! “There’s no need to buy something like you!”
“You are trash that should not be alive!”
Elijah burning in fire.
Numerous Elijahs around her pour out her curses.
Throwing stones and spitting.
Elijah blankly watched those red eyes filled with frenzy.
Yes, that’s right.
It’s all my fault.
I have to be like this.
This is the right ending.
Elijah lifted up his spear.
He stabbed her body with a spear carved out of wood.
There was a hole in her side.
Her blood is pouring out.
Heat pours into that place.
Her body burns from underneath her skin.
Burned, cooked, scorched.
Could there be an ending more fitting for her?
Resigned, she raised her head, coughing up her blood.
Sky.
A crack appeared in the full moon.
As if it would break.
What you see below is the large steel frame of this cage.
And what you see in front of you is.
Someone’s small birdcage.
Elijah looked up at the moon and smiled.
“I’m fine.”
Passyuk, Passyuk.
The sound that came out of nowhere was like fallen leaves being swept away by the wind.
Elijah was reduced to ashes one by one, and she was falling apart.
Elijah and Elijah, who cursed, threw stones, and stabbed with spears, were scattered into ashes.
It falls as a pillar of gray powder.
There is ashes everywhere.
And finally.
-Pasyuk!
He also became ashes.
A place where the golden flames have cooled down.
A shabby ash that gives off hot residual heat.
All Elijah became one through ashes.
Elijah, reduced to ashes, looked into the sky.
Pretty moon.
Her own and only light.
The wind is blowing.
Ashes get caught up and fly away.
Elijah was like that too.
And the thing that passes through the air.
Red flowers.
My salvation.
Anemone.
As the flowers passed, the gold on the moon became clear.
More and more.
It split randomly like broken ice.
Boom!
The moon is broken.
A round hole appeared in that place.
A darker black than the surrounding void.
A hand stretched out from a place that seemed to be sucking everything in.
Very large hands, as if you could hold the moon in one hand.
Then the arm appears.
The muscular forearms were full of small wounds.
The same goes for hands.
Rough hands full of calluses.
It is a trace of constant polishing and polishing for someone for a very long time.
Boom! Quack!
The hand grabbed the iron bars of the cage violently and tore them off.
The hand that came down as if reaching out seemed as if to grab it.
But she had no hands on Elijah, who had turned into ashes.
She wanted to touch her hand.
Ashes flow and move like pouring sand.
It forms a shape.
He becomes a gray Elijah.
Elijah held her hand.
Her hands were so big compared to her puny self, she could barely hold one of her fingers.
It’s warm.
Jae felt the cozy warmth and sobbed.
Every time she gets up and down, her body crumbles like powder.
Turned into ashes, she falls again.
It slips through the cracks in her hand.
The fallen ashes stick to her body again, barely maintaining her shape.
Elijah buried her face in her hands and sobbed.
The restless crying quickly turned into heartbreaking sobs.
“Huh… ! “Uuuuu-!”
These words I barely got out while crying.
“It’s not okay! “I’m not okay at all!”
Then, her hand gently squeezed Elijah.
*
Little Elijah looked in front of her.
The straight path she takes is the path she must take.
It is a field of thorns.
She put her hand to her mouth as if she were afraid.
Her other hand held someone.
Maria. It’s mom.
Elijah glanced up at her mother.
Her mother looked at her with a bitter smile.
She did not push Elijah first.
She waited.
But the world did not do that.
“Ugh-!”
Something pushed Elijah on his back.
“Ouch!”
Her feet were pricked by her sharp thorns.
It stings.
I’m bleeding.
But she cannot back down.
This is a path that, once you take it, you can never back down or look back.
“Ugh… !”
Elijah held back her cries and clenched her fists.
She desperately wanted to look back.
I wanted to go back to her mother and be hugged.
That shouldn’t be the case.
Whether it is your own or someone else’s.
I stood on the road.
So you have to look only ahead.
I don’t know what’s at the end of the road.
It’s not even visible.
Why you should go.
Nevertheless, I walk.
“Ugh… !”
Every time I take a step, thorns dig into my feet.
It cannot be removed.
Keep walking like that.
-Passsssuk!
Some of the thorns are made of glass, so if you step on them, they break and become embedded.
Another thorn was firmly fixed to the ground and was so large that one had to step over it to move forward.
“Ahhh… !”
I wanted to sit down.
I want to go back even now.
Still, I walk.
I kept walking.
Without even realizing how far away she was from her mother.
The road stretches straight ahead.
There is no top, bottom, or side.
Just go straight.
When the soles of her feet became tattered, she saw a small light at the end.
The ivory light resembles the moon.
In order to reach the light, Elijah walked with even more strength.
She squeezed out the last of her strength.
She resisted her urge to fall.
Even though it felt like I was getting further away the closer I got, I kept pushing forward despite the thorns.
A few steps left until the line where the thorn ends.
Elijah ran.
And she jumped in, calling the name of light.
“Judas-!”
The moment he crossed the line, light enveloped Elijah’s body.
She escaped from the light and was held in Judah’s arms, and before she knew it, she had become an adult.
“Judas… !”
She buried her face in his arms and sobbed.
Adult Judah, who had been waiting, hugged her without her saying a word.
“I’m not okay either. Miss.”
Elijah calmed her down in his arms, and she sobbed freely.
Only then did she look back.
I thought of my mother, whom I left behind on the far side of the road. She turned her head in sorrow, wondering if she would ever see again.
“Ellie.”
Her mother was right behind her.
Stroking her head with her smiling face.
Her feet were covered in blood just as much as herself.
It was the result of walking down the same thorny path.
“Thank you for your hard work.”
“Mom… ?”
“I’m just sorry I didn’t do anything for you.”
“Mom….”
“Still, I’m glad you got your world back. “Mom, that’s enough.”
Mary held Elijah’s head.
She kisses your forehead softly.
“I love you. Ellie.”
“Mom…. Me too… !”
I was so thirsty that my voice could not come out properly.
She sobbed as she was hugged back and forth by her mother and Judah.
Then suddenly her world went dark, and Elijah lost consciousness.
It looks like she is being sucked into somewhere.
*
A wide grassland.
A colony of anemones blooming in the center.
A crack appeared in the black sun rising above it.
-Jejeok….
A golden ray of light leaked through the gap.
The crack spread quickly.
The golden light illuminated the surrounding area more brightly.
-Blah blah blah…. Bang!
With a loud noise, the black sun exploded.
In an instant, golden light covered the entire underworld.
-Boom!
Judas fell from the sun.
He fell to the floor and looked around.
There is no one I saw before leaving.
Balak. Narcissi. Maria. Everyone else. It’s not visible.
The field is full of only red anemones.
“Whoa…” .”
Judah looked down at her body, catching her breath.
The skin that had melted and flowed down was fine.
I squeeze and open her hand.
It is reality.
“Elijah….”
I looked up at the sky.
There is no black sun.
Instead, something was falling from that spot.
Like flower petals. Soft and light.
A woman wearing a pure white dress.
The woman falling with her black hair flying was Elijah.
Judas stretched out her hands as if to support her.
Elijah rested gently on his arm.
“Elijah….”
Judah called her name and stroked her face.
But she didn’t wake up.
It wasn’t time to wake up here yet.
“Ha…. It’s okay, it’s okay….”
She sighed deeply and buried her face in Elijah’s shoulder.
“Enough, let’s go back…” .”
But not yet.
It’s not over yet.
“… ….”
Before she knew it, Judah saw a wooden cup prepared in front of her. She
She reminded herself of the rules.
You have to drink the water in the glass to go back.
The only people who can drink it are Judah or Elijah. Either one.
If you drink water, you lose your precious memories.
The core of the memory where you can no longer be the person you are now.
It is currently unknown how much and how we will lose.
Should we let Elijah drink it?
Should she drink it herself?
Judas thought for a long time.
‘… ….’
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Judah put her Elijah down on the grass and knelt before him.
Red anemones rose into the sky like balloons, emitting bright golden light.
Amidst the beautiful scenery, Judah made a decision.
