Episode 105. The door to the health room will always be open.
‘… ….’
‘Oops, your expression is hardened.
‘I can’t do that. Because you are valuable power.’
That’s bullsh*t.
The Red Cross unit I belonged to at the time belonged to the Imperial Army, but it was closer to the reinforcements sent by the ‘Grand Duke’, who were allowed autonomy in the Empire.
As long as they are in a ‘collaborative relationship’ rather than under their official rank, it is possible enough to refuse an order in consideration of the circumstances of the unit, even if the other person is superior in terms of position.
Ignoring this is practically the same as the Marquis challenging the Archduke to a fight.
‘I can’t help it. Let’s leave you guys out of this operation. However, sending a rescue team after repairing the damage that will occur later…….’
‘That’s my job too, so I’ll do enough, but don’t expect too much. What we can do on the front lines is at best providing first aid, so we can’t save people who disappeared without a trace, like the reconnaissance unit that perished in the bombing last time.’
‘…… You should know that it was a successful operation, right?’
‘You know that the ones who died without enjoying even the tiniest bit of success were the guys who went out on patrol believing only your words, right?’
A lure operation to catch the eyes of the enemies and then hit them in the back….
There is nothing wrong with the operation itself. It is also something that the side that draws attention should bear the risk.
But isn’t that perseverance, after all, something that requires you to know what you’re doing?
The Japanese army in World War II even told soldiers to go out and search for them, but you have to do things that go too far.
‘I think it’s impossible to ask for understanding…’
‘It is said that fighting over who is better at being a b*tch is a war, but what you are doing is overdoing it. Do you remember the names of the reconnaissance corps members who participated in the operation in the first place?’
I can’t remember.
A human who was only focused on winning in the first place and treated soldiers as expendable items.
The names of the soldiers who have already been burned to death must be so insignificant that they are not worthy of the menu for dinner tonight.
When the operation is over, you can just forget about it…….
‘Chief Serco.’
‘… Huh, I seem to remember the leader’s name.’
‘Calvin, Adam. Pyro, Sella……. I remember all the names of his subordinates. Would you like me to recite the names of those who filled the void?’
‘… ….’
‘… If you have nothing more to say, back off. You’re not the only one who needs to hear the report.’
Still, you must have the conscience to memorize at least a name.
I wouldn’t have felt so dirty if I had been a consistent piece of trash.
***
“Sometimes there are people who are mistaken. People who think they can really do anything just by standing above others.”
Yes, it is a big mistake if you know how to be surprised that you remembered someone’s name on the subject of garbage.
After all, it’s true that he doesn’t care about people’s hearts, and that means he must be prepared to be sadistic for no reason from those who watch him.
“But no matter what rank or position, officers and soldiers are ultimately people with the same heart. Everyone is on an equal footing if only one rank insignia is dropped, and no one would easily accept giving up their lives for one or two words from such a person.”
Of course, this is a story that also applies to a class society divided into nobles and commoners, but on the battlefield, there is a ‘force’ that is closer than rights or property.
The weapon that can kill someone is in this hand, and if you fall, the person who persecuted you is within reach.
If your patience is tested to such an extent that even your family or ethics are no deterrent, wouldn’t it be possible to have irreversible results in a single impulse?
“But, if it’s the military… ….”
“Yes, if you are a soldier, you have to risk your life to fight to protect your hometown. It’s the officer’s job to take responsibility for him even returning to his hometown.”
Only swarming creatures like ants and bees can completely give up their egos for the sake of the collective.
Despite having the power of divine power, even religion could not achieve the ideal of totalitarianism, so medicine developed belatedly. However, even in an army that presupposes absolute order and command, it is only an ideal to hope for that to be perfectly realized.
Because that is impossible, officers should never see soldiers as consumables.
Before talking about ethics or morality, such a harsh attitude can come as a knife aiming at the back.
“And maybe your father would have argued. Even in times of peace, the military needs to be reinforced.”
“…… Are you saying that is wrong too?”
“It means that you must be prepared to be hated by others if you do things the same way as in the past, regardless of whether you did well or not. There is an excuse that it was inevitable during the war, but it shouldn’t be like that until now.”
Because he, the people he leads, and even more, the people he aspires to are all the same person.
In the past, as each other was an armed group, if they had the ability to protect themselves, they would have been able to prevent a cataclysm, but ironically, in society, you cannot defend yourself with force alone.
On the contrary, since it is an era of peace, the way of abandoning humanitarianism works as poison.
Anyone who has heard of his notoriety will think he deserves to be excluded.
“I wouldn’t know if he showed even a little respect to the people who followed him… …. It would be unreasonable to insist on such a thing when everything has already been done.”
I am also in no position to claim my innocence against him, even if it means excluding my personal grudge.
That’s why I couldn’t help but feel bittersweet in the position ahead of Beans.
No matter how competent and successful a leader is.
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I didn’t like the reality of having to teach people that the end of a person who has abandoned respect is so lonely and lonely.
“…… I’ll go back.”
Have you not seen me like that?
Soon after, Beans turned his back from his seat and got ready to go to the exit of the health room.
“Going back, didn’t you decide to stay here until your body recovers?”
“I will take care of my body myself. Because I don’t want to be indebted to you any more.”
The sharpness I feel in the eyes looking back at me.
Even though the color had faded, I could feel the hostility towards me.
Even so, both of my hands are trembling violently……. Yes, even if you understand it with your head, it must be difficult to accept it with your heart.
Still, he must have been a respectable father to himself, and a father who showed love only to his children, no matter how trash they were.
“… Would you mind waiting a moment?”
And unfortunately, I’m just a teacher.
No matter how serious the condition is, if you want to get out of a state where you can move, you have no choice but to send it back, even if you respect that intention.
If being by your side is rather poisonous, you should do it all the more.
“It is a headache medicine. Take one every time you get a headache.”
Because I’m still a teacher.
At least he gave me a bottle, wondering if it would be okay to do him a favor that would alleviate the pain.
“And… ….”
I took advantage of that opportunity and quietly folded my hands over Beans’ hand holding the medicine bottle.
Gathering light in his hand.
“If you are having a hard time, come visit us anytime. The door to the infirmary will always be open.”
I whispered, hoping that the warmth I felt from him would reach my heart, and Beans, who had shrunk his body, carefully removed his hand holding the vial.
Tata that.
The moment when the opposite sound of running wildly echoed through the hallway.
Leaving the noise behind, leaving the bathroom and returning to the health room, I saw someone standing in the middle of the health room.
Dale Enburton. A boy who was protected by the health room before Beans.
“Teacher, is Beans back?”
Looks like you woke up from a previous commotion.
I smiled bitterly and answered Dale reluctantly.
“Are you worried about Beans?”
“Yes, because he was seriously injured.”
Dale lowers his head with a sullen face.
This child must have also heard rumors about him while touring the academy, but on the other hand, I thought it was admirable to see him genuinely worried.
“Don’t worry. Because I left the door of the health room open for children like you who have nowhere to go.”
I stroked the child’s head and looked back toward the exit of the health room.
Hopefully, I hope that the child who ran out of here won’t completely kick the opportunity I gave him.
***
– Kung!
How long has it been since you ran out of the health room?
A body collided with something while frantically running down the hallway.
But because of the headache in her head, she didn’t even have time to balance herself.
By the time the slumped Beans grabbed the back of her head wrapped in her bandage, her bumped opponent began to approach Beans.
“Are you okay?”
Impressive impression with graceful black hair and black eyes…….
But that’s all I’ve checked. After all, this person will be the same.
“A bandage on her head… …. Are you hurt?”
Even if she pretends to be worried, it’s just because she still can’t tell who she is.
Because if you find out, you’re sure to curse yourself like everyone you’ve ever met.
“The infirmary isn’t too far away, so I’ll take you there right away…” ….”
“Okay!!”
I grabbed her hand and ran past her and down the hallway.
There were some students I met along the way, but I didn’t care, no, I tried to ignore them.
After all, there is nothing different about them. It was obvious that if we met eyes for no reason, we would act the same as before.
‘Everything is the same, everything is the same…… !’
It is clear that everyone will curse and laugh at themselves.
It is clear that he will ignore and ridicule his father, who inherited his blood.
She’s just like the woman she faced before…….
‘Your father is not a person who would betray the empire.’
“Get rid of the words that are not in your heart!! You are also a subject I hate!!”
Screams broke out at the half-lost reason, but no one looked back.
There was no one to hold her body.
Of course. Because the small body that unconsciously avoided people’s eyes was heading towards the underground that no one could see.
Look for a darker, damper place…….
“Woo-wook…… !”
Beanz collapses only after entering the underground warehouse he finally arrives at.
While being swayed by a headache, my vision became blurry along with tinnitus that bleeped.
While that field of view was colored like a rainbow, the feeling of vomiting began to well up as if the stomach was being pulled by the blood gushing upside down.
“Oooh!”
Vomit coming out of the mouth.
Since he hadn’t eaten even that much, only sour gastric juices gushed out, but even after regurgitating, his body repeated seizures again.
Thump, boom. Stuck head.
The skin on his forehead was torn and blood flowed out, but the stuffy feeling did not go away.
Will it get better if I stop breathing? I grabbed my neck with my hands, but the more I did, the more the pain became clearer, as if blood rushed to her head.
-Less.
In the midst of such resistance, something escaped from my bosom and rolled in front of me until I came to a stop, crashing into a wall.
A vial.
It was given to me by a teacher I encountered before.
‘If you’re having a hard time, come visit me anytime.’
-Gulp.
When she came to her senses, she was already preparing to put the medicine in her mouth.
Not just one, but two, four…….
As many as you can fit.
“Cool!!”
She couldn’t swallow even that and ended up coughing out her cough.
Perhaps it was because she was reluctant to put the medicine she gave her into her mouth? Or is it because she is not feeling well enough to even accept her medicine?
No, I don’t know.
I try to roll my head, but nothing comes to mind.
What is right and what is bad., What on earth should I do?
Before that, why was he still alive?
“Ah… ….”
Nothing.
Because no matter what I ask myself, the answer doesn’t come back.
The girl finally let go of reason and decided to be faithful only to her emotions.
“aaa…… !!”
Only in this place where no one can see.
I take solace in the fact that no matter how ugly I look, it’s okay.
***
Anyway, no matter how talented and mature you are, you’re only 14 years old.
It would be a harsh punishment for that child who did not have good friendships, to receive the hatred of tens of thousands of people in the school because of a crime he did not commit.
“Ah, Mr. Seine. Long time no see. Are you here to see the manager?”
Yes, that was the reason I came to the guidance department after school.
She said that I, too, had a bad childhood, so I didn’t feel that the child’s situation was unusual.
