57 – A Word of Regret (2)
“……”
“……”
There was only quiet silence.
None of the two spoke first.
A breathtaking air fills the room.
Choi Si-woo, who was standing blankly, quietly closed his eyes.
A sigh and pain echoed from deep within his heart.
‘… ‘It was at this time.’
One of the moments he most regretted in his past life.
Memories of a life-threatening crisis.
It wasn’t a despairing time when a colleague was dying before our eyes.
A moment that was as heartbreaking as anything else.
In the end, it was Yurika who broke the silence.
“Recently, I started feeling nauseous… So I went to the medical center just in case. The director there hated drug addicts, so I almost couldn’t even see the doctor.”
Yurika, leaning against her shelf, chuckled.
“…It’s morning sickness. I’ve had it for about 3 weeks…”
“……”
From Noble mtl dot com
“There is an additional problem.”
“…If it’s a problem.”
“There’s a high probability… No, I won’t lie to you. It’s guaranteed that the baby will be deformed. Even if he is born, he won’t live long.”
“……”
Yurika soon burst into laughter, saying ‘hahahahaha’.
“Right? Of course. My mother’s body can’t survive without taking medicine for even a day… It’s so damaged that it’s broken… How can life be normal? Isn’t it?”
“……”
“You have to tell me by tomorrow at the latest.”
“What…”
“I don’t know whether to erase it or not. The subjugation is just around the corner and the facilities are poor… So there is no chance if it’s now.”
After being silent for a while, she smiled bitterly and placed her hand on the doorknob.
“I’m sorry. I forced you to be with someone I didn’t like… And even threatened you… And hurt you so much. I should have taken proper birth control… But there was a time when we hugged each other and slept for two days, right? I think I missed the timing that time.”
“……”
“Don’t worry. We’ll make sure there are no problems during the subjugation…”
“Choi Haru.”
“…Yes?”
Choi Si-woo, who cut off her words, kept in her heart… However, she took out the words she could not bear to say.
“If it were a daughter, I think Choi Haru would be better, and if it was a son, I think Choi Uri would be better.”
“…You. What on earth are you talking about…-“
“-Give birth.”
“…!”
I just held her in my arms.
I can feel a hint of embarrassment in her chest.
She restrained her movements as she struggled to fall and brushed her hair as if it was okay.
“…I will definitely protect you until the last moment of my death. So, give birth. I told you before. I want to become a mother.”
“…Do you still remember that? It’s from the academy. And Kihyung-“
“-What if it’s a deformity? That’s no problem at all.”
She lowered her head.
Yurika is seen shedding tears non-stop like a collapsing dam.
She pursed her lips.
“…It wouldn’t be an environment to raise it.”
“You just have to defeat the demon. It will take time, but the air, the sea, and nature will gradually return. One day, you will be able to walk around outside without any equipment like before again.”
“…I can’t cook properly and I can’t even do proper lyrics. I’m so broken…”
“I can do it. Of course, we will take care of the child together.”
“…You won’t be a good couple. I have committed an irreparable crime against you…”
“It’s okay. Is there a family in this world that doesn’t have any love or hate?”
At the last word, she lowered her head.
Her shoulders were shaking.
Choi Si-woo, who was watching, also shed a single tear.
Unable to control his overwhelmed emotions, he silently groaned at the pain that wracked his chest.
‘… ‘That’s foolish.’
A terrible level of self-loathing filled me.
This is a false memory.
It was his own greed and a nightmare that was nothing more than an illusion.
As usual, he couldn’t say anything.
Because I knew better than anyone else that there was no hope in this world.
I doubted whether I would be able to have a child, and even if I could… Because I knew very well that it would end in a painful ending.
That’s why what I’m saying now is crueler than anyone else’s.
This is nothing more than an irresponsible statement.
Who is he going to protect when he can’t even defeat No Face, let alone the Demon God?
‘… But.’
Even so.
Even if everything is already too late.
I wanted to tell you at this very moment.
The erosion in the head becomes stronger.
There is a price to pay for causing something that should not have happened.
I don’t mind.
I wiped Yurika’s face, trying hard to swallow the pain that felt like my brain was on fire.
“I’ll say it again. Give birth.”
“……”
“I’ll take responsibility for the work. So…Let’s move forward together. With the kids…Let’s try to become a good couple.”
“……”
The dream is coming to an end.
Yurika, the regrets before her eyes, the remains of her past were crumbling into dust and disappearing.
I see a face full of tears.
Yurika smiled softly in the fantasy of her shattering like cracks in porcelain.
“…A foolish person. Still…”
Her last words pierce her heart.
“…Thank you.”
I realize that the life and warmth I felt in my arms has completely disappeared.
[Obtain a fragment of nightmare.]
After a while, what remained was an entirely white space.
Choi Si-woo was left there alone.
My head was screaming.
I need to leave right away and find the real Yurika.
But I couldn’t move.
Even one minute was fine.
It only took a little bit.
So, Choi Si-woo quietly knelt down on his knees and cried desperately.
* * *
“Gasp, gasp!”
Yurika took a deep breath.
Why did this happen?
As I look around her, I can feel her disdain for me.
When I look behind me, I see instructors pointing their fingers.
Why, why? What did she do?
Tuk-!
“Oops…”
While I was thinking, someone bumped my shoulder.
As I frown, I hear a thunderous voice ringing in my ears.
-Is that all there is to it?-
“……!’
Yurika felt like her breath was taken away.
A middle-aged woman with her wrinkled face was looking at her.
Instead of her usual smiling face, she was glaring with a cold, cold face.
“Pope, Pope.”
Yurika is like her mother.
The woman she loved more than anyone else was despising her.
-I guess I misread you.-
-I’m disappointed.-
-Why did Irelua make such scrap materials…? –
Unbelievable words come out of her mouth.
Tears welling up cover my face.
Yurika stood up in a huff and ran away like crazy.
But no matter how much she ran, the gaze on her only increased more and more.
Finally, unable to hold on, she fell to her knees, curled up, and trembled.
“Please, stop. Someone…Someone…”
Someone help me… please.
* * *
“…Gasp!”
Her body rose up with her heavy breathing.
Cold sweat runs down her chin.
Again. A dream that repeats over and over again.
‘… Phew.’
Yurika sighed and soon frowned at the sound of the ship’s horn rumbling.
Why is this body always full of food?
‘Tsk!’ She stood up and waddled forward.
You can see a narrow studio apartment.
She was so dirty with her clothes and food that it was hard to believe that she was always clean.
This has been the third year that Yurika has been trapped here.
She ran away with all her might from the insults and harassment of the people around her, and this place appeared as if it was an escape for her.
Yurika never went outside after that.
She just repeats her life, eating and sleeping like the livestock raised here.
At one point she stopped even praying.
Because I could not hear the voice of her goddess at all.
I knew it instinctively.
‘… I am no longer a saint.’
I was abandoned.
To everyone, to my acquaintances, to the Pope who was like a mother, and… To the goddess Irelua, who was the object of worship.
Yurika sighed and opened the refrigerator door.
This refrigerator, filled with new food and drinks every day, was her only pleasure in life.
I take out a chicken sandwich well covered in plastic and a carton of orange juice.
She went into the bathroom with the intention of washing her face while she warmed it up in the microwave.
“…Ah.”
Looking through the mirror, I see a lot of fat growing up.
She had no clothes that fit, so she was wearing clothes that looked like drums, and her appearance was so disgusting that anyone who saw her would frown.
The advantage of being beautiful has long since disappeared.
Isn’t it a good thing that I don’t get dirty because I wash it every day?
“…It doesn’t matter.”
Yes, it doesn’t matter.
Even though she was the same as before, everyone hated her anyway.
In the end, nothing changed.
Yurika hurriedly finished washing her face as if she didn’t want to see her anymore.
She was about to come out and watch a cartoon.
“…!”
I was shocked by the sudden popularity.
A man who did not know when he came in was looking at him.
“…Choi, Choi Si-woo?”
“……”
In an instant, Yurika’s face brightened.
Seeing someone else’s face after 3 years.
Although he was always teasing her, she was very happy to see him like this.
‘… Ah.’
However, soon my body began to tremble with fear.
His voice cursing himself for being unsightly was predicted.
I expect him to go out with a frown as if he were looking at trash on the street.
The first thing Yurika heard after shaking for so long was something completely unexpected.
“…I’m sorry.”
“…Yes?”
“You came too late. I should have saved you sooner.”
“…Ah…”
Choi Si-woo just held Yurika’s hand.
“Let’s go out.”
“Now, wait a minute! The bar, outside…”
“It’s okay.”
He smiled weakly.
I couldn’t help but feel an inexplicable sadness from the red marks around my eyes.
“I’ll do something. So let’s go together.”
“Looks…”
“…Hmm?”
“Aren’t I so unsightly? I’ve gained weight, lost my divine power… And can’t even hear the goddess’s voice. I’m… Of no value anymore…”
“No.”
Yurika raised her head as her hand held her tightly.
“That doesn’t really matter. It’s enough for you just the way you are. So just this time… I will never let you make it like that.”
“……”
Yurika did not understand exactly what he was talking about.
But the sound, weight, and determination contained in her voice were transmitted to her heart.
He takes a step forward.
He also takes a step forward.
Every time I walked, everything became a path.
Before you know it, the door that was blocking you and the prison-like studio you were trapped in are disappearing.
Just walk and walk.
If there is a group that comes to criticize him from time to time, he protects him.
Sometimes, a shapeless voice disturbed his mind, and he covered his ears.
So… Did it go that far?
A pure white door appeared before her eyes as if it was the last time.
I understood it instinctively.
Once she gets over there, her own nightmare ends.
Yurika looked behind her.
Choi Si-woo, who was with him a little while ago, was just watching from a distance.
Why… why?
“…Come on, you too! Let’s get out together!”
He shakes her head.
“Go out first, Yurika. I’m heading to where the other kids are.”
“Up, it’s dangerous. This place…I don’t know…It’s dark and cold. I feel like I’m no longer myself.”
Despite urgent explanations, he continued to shake his head.
“It took longer than expected. The other kids have probably reached their limit too. It takes too much time to search for them one by one.”
“……”
“If I go outside, I will be defenseless. Can you protect me?”
Yurika nodded her head without hesitation.
Choi Si-woo, who was smiling, turned his back and ran away somewhere.
“…I must be safe…”
When I grabbed the doorknob, a bright light illuminated everywhere.
Soon Yurika’s eyes darkened.
* * *
“……”
Yurika barely opened her eyes and felt a figure surrounding her body.
“…!”
Soon she realizes that it is Choi Si-woo, who has lost her consciousness.
Her face turned red as she stood in a manly posture, as if she were a lover.
From Noble mtl dot com
“…Ugh…Ugh!”
If it were normal, I would have panicked and pushed him away… Yurika couldn’t do that.
I don’t remember exactly, but… The fact that he had saved her remained in her heart.
No, that was not all.
She knew he was sad.
She knew he was in pain.
She knew that even so, she ran to save herself and others.
Yurika suppressed her shame and hugged Choi Si-woo in her arms.
Pray at the same time.
Although her goddess’s voice could not be heard, her vast divine power flowed through her body and enveloped her entire body.
A silver wand appeared and spread a clear sound of bells.
According to the tone, the surroundings become bright as daylight.
“Please come out.”
As soon as I could speak, human-shaped shadows crawled out from everywhere.
Her whole body turned pure white, as if she was fighting against an evil group that was waiting for an opportunity.
Yurika made a promise.
“As long as I’m there…”
She can’t lay a finger on him.
