163 – Saint
Christine froze in a daze at the completely unexpected remark of calling herself a saint of the Church of Charity and Christine’s distant ancestor. Every word was questionable.
Christine had never held the surname Hildegard so highly.
Her God had always called Christine by name, so it was only to the extent that she had an insecurities that she could not throw away.
Aren’t the letters meaningless now that the family has collapsed close to extinction? Furthermore, Christine’s parents, who were another human with the last name Hildegard, were parents who sold their children out of religion.
From the time he was a blind child, after being entrusted to the Holy Church, he received education and training close to abuse and lived for ten years without even knowing his parents’ faces.
In the end, even though he met the true god after going through all kinds of hardships, old memories still remained as traces, so he couldn’t have a good image of the castle called Hildegard.
Well, when Christine, who had gained a new realization, was destroying the Holy Church, there was a couple of men and women who seemed to recognize her for a while, but it wasn’t their business. I didn’t know what to say and I just killed him.
So she shouldn’t have any feelings about meeting her ancestors, but for some reason, her sixth sense whispered from the bottom of her heart that it shouldn’t be.
There was one more word that bothered me.
The religion of love that the woman mentioned. I had never met, let alone heard of, a religious group with such a name.
Besides, Christine’s God believes in the cult of love. I was wondering what the heck that meant.
If it wasn’t for the overwhelming divine power flowing from that woman, she would have torn each part of her body to pieces for blaspheming God.
As if she had noticed such a confused feeling, the golden-yellow woman comforted Christine, adding strength to her clenched hands.
“You must have a hard time believing me. You must be confused, you must be embarrassed.
“I-I…”
Christine stuttered, unable to answer. I couldn’t figure out how to deal with this Christina woman in front of me.
Should we treat them as the relationship between ancestors and descendants? Or should we treat it as a religious-to-religious relationship? Or should we treat it as a relationship between believers and holy relics?
One thing was certain, whatever relationship they chose, Christine had to obey her completely. That was clear.
So, Christine hurriedly tried to kneel on the temple floor, but Christina shook her head from side to side and stopped her from bending down.
“You don’t have to do that. I was left only to accomplish what I couldn’t finish, a body that didn’t even have a living body left, bound by a small divine power. It’s a soul that will disappear soon, so you don’t have to be polite.”
Christine’s eyes widened at the words of a woman who referred to herself as a soul that would soon disappear.
“…to disappear, an angel sent by God… do you mean…?”
“It’s not entirely wrong to call me an angel, but it’s not entirely right either.”
The woman smiled bitterly, not knowing how many times.
“Even though my body has been burned to pieces and only a handful of my soul remains, I will open my ugly mouth because I am a woman who dares to be called a saint of a religion. I am a being who should not remain in this world according to my destiny. It was because I held the soul that escaped from the world of the living. However, because of the little divinity that my god arranged for me last before he died, I was able to hold this wretched soul in this world for a while. It shouldn’t exist in this world.”
“…”
Christine couldn’t answer. It was because he did not understand the woman’s words, but he had a contradictory feeling that he did.
I couldn’t easily give myself an answer as to what that feeling was.
“…then why did you expose that holy soul before this poor little lamb. For what purpose did you let my poor eyes see that noble soul?”
“It’s for salvation.”
Salvation.
Christine trembled when she noticed the enormous responsibility contained in that simple two-syllable word.
save? who? from what? how?
“My God, right before I went through the annihilation of existence, squeezed out my divinity one last time and arranged me here. Perhaps from then on, he foresaw this fate. I left this world to return to God. It was on the verge, and my god, who had lost all of his divinity, was disintegrating into mere dust that could no longer be called a god.”
The woman took a step back.
“I did not know why God did this. If it had not been for the divinity that was finally squeezed out, had it not been for the divinity that had given me to dwell in the world as such, my God would not have gone through the complete cessation of being. “You should have been able to remain in the world as a small fragment. However, God did not do that. I was blasphemous and resented God for making me look like this. Why did you entrust such a weighty fate to such an insignificant woman?” , I had no idea what he wanted from the ashes where he had already done his duty and burned his whole body, and why.”
The divine power that had been bursting out strong enough to give the illusion that it was going blind gradually faded away. In inverse proportion to him, the woman’s shape became clearer.
“But not now.”
The woman’s appearance had returned to the same one she had when she first appeared in front of Christine, but with a more defined outline of her body.
“When I saw you, I realized. It was never something we could handle with our own hands. It that breaks the balance of the world, shakes the balance, and twists the law of causality is just a fragment of the past, far beyond our ability to do anything about it. My God foresaw even this situation. Knowing that fate had left his hands, he burned all the divinity that was not even a handful and held my soul here.”
“Ha, haona… How dare I…”
“You have to bring God back.”
At the woman’s words, Christine flinched reflexively.
“You must recover God from the heresy that twisted the laws and twisted the providence. That is the only wish of a miserable saint named Christina Hildegard who has endured a long time just for this moment.”
The figure of a golden woman smiled faintly. It was a smile full of benevolence, unlike the smiles that contained ambiguous and reluctant emotions that he had made countless times.
“My time is running out. Before that, before I run out of time, you must accept my all. It will be a very painful and brutal process. But I believe you will be able to endure it.”
Christine unconsciously nodded. My head has come to a certain conclusion.
God’s last command, a request to get over it.
The holy relic of the temple chosen as the means.
The woman who appeared in the relic.
What the woman told me to do.
All compasses pointed to only one path.
“…If this is God’s will, I will obey.”
Christine clasped her hands in front of her chest. And carefully, very slowly, he knelt down. Above it, a golden woman spread her arms wide.
“What I am going to show you from now on is a memory of a past that is very painful, bitter, and yet terribly dangerous. I won’t say a word of mouth. Christine Hildegard, maybe you’ll never get out of the memories I’m showing you. Trapped in the past. You may die there. If that happens, your shell will remain here and rot away. This is a life-and-death risk. I will only show you the way to go and open the door, and after that It’s all up to you. Will you mind that? Are you willing to lay down your life for your god?”
Hearing the woman’s lively voice, Christine nodded. Could you lose your life? Isn’t that just a possibility anyway?
However, Christine who lost God like this is sure to die. Losing faith, falling into despair, ending one’s life by one’s own hands, or whatever.
It’s not that you can die, you die. For Christine, who had lost her faith, there was no meaning to life anymore.
“I will ask you one last time.”
Christine listened and closed her eyes.
“Christine Hildegard. You will never succeed in this ordeal.”
Christine, who was about to close her eyes, paused for a moment. can you never make it? What does that mean all of a sudden? The woman reached out her hand to Christine’s bewildered head.
“So, you must work miracles.”
Warm warmth hit his brown hair.
“Through a miracle, you must bring about an outcome that can never happen. You must do what cannot be done. Otherwise, you will just lose your life in vain.”
The woman hugged Christine.
“Christine Hildegard, descendant of Christina Hildegard, religious saint with more divine power than anyone else, savior of this world who will correct the twisted providence and cause and effect. Please… please, may that wish come true. World May we be able to deliver salvation from the monster that cuts off the laws of the world. I pray in the name of St. Christina Hildegard.”
At the end of those words, Christine’s vision was covered in darkness. The body floated up and began to be sucked into somewhere.
It is said that the body remains in this place, so perhaps only the mind is moving. Into the memories of the past, which were declared impossible to achieve.
Christine’s presence soon disappeared. The body that had lost its soul hardened as it prayed.
Looking at the place where the soul had passed, the woman wiped her eyes with the hem of her dress. It was fortunate that his descendants did not notice this weakness.
The tips of his toes gradually faded. Since he squeezed out the last divinity that maintained his body, it meant that he could no longer exist in this world.
It was to be expected. The woman looked down at her disappearing body with calm eyes. It is a life that has been forced to drag on what should have been over anyway. There were no more regrets.
If there’s just one, really only one lingering feeling left, that’s it.
“……Goodbye, Christine Hildegard.”
Christina Hildegard whispered the last words in a heartfelt voice that she was not sure if she was addressing someone.
She whispered her sincerity, which she couldn’t bear to add because her throat was choking.
“And please, I hope you can fulfill my unfulfilled love.”
After saying that, the woman’s body completely disappeared.
Only the image of Christine praying remained in the temple.
