49 – I couldn’t leave her as much as I did
It felt like I had a pretty long dream.
Actually, it wasn’t even a dream.
Only the parts of her that disappointed me disappear from my memory, because I loved her with all her might.
If she had approached me wholeheartedly from the beginning, surely we could have smiled as we lived through the soft and sweet memories.
If you thought of me, cared for me, and cared for me from the beginning,
I’m sure they would have repaid you more than that.
Even if there are things that cannot be conceded, it would have been much better if we had discussed them and solved them.
But she chose to trick me instead.
With the power I gained while changing, my memories were covered.
She covered up the scars she had given me, and instead of her, she only emphasized her sincere side.
‘I love you, Niel. I will always love only you.’
“Huh?!”
Besides… Her voice still sounds like it’s ringing in my ears.
“It’s okay. The magic in my ears has long since disappeared.”
“Is it my imagination that I can still hear it?”
“It’s terrible. I can’t imagine that the magical power in my ear could be used for that purpose.”
It was definitely a really sweet and beautiful echo during that time when it was covered by a curtain.
Now… I didn’t feel that kind of emotion.
No matter how much you did because you couldn’t handle what you did, if you just ran away from it.
If you repeat the same mistakes without changing,
Can I consider it her true love?
“Go and help the others first. I’m fine now.”
A friend I met after a long time.
A village that was all burnt down, and a church that could be called her home.
…With the curtain lifted, I was able to more clearly express my feelings that day.
The blood moon happened because Elena wanted me.
And a lot of people who died because of it.
Due to the unusually long period of time, he said, the damage was much greater.
I couldn’t do anything about the incident that even took away Yuliana’s support.
I couldn’t recall my memories properly, and I couldn’t even commemorate myself as I should have.
Because of her.
However, I couldn’t bear to attribute the deaths to Elena.
I couldn’t blame her for the feelings and abilities that even she couldn’t control.
Besides, it was me who set fire to her heart.
If she hadn’t accepted her,
From noble mtl dot com
On that day, if you called her church and gave her rest to the changed woman.
A terribly cruel word, but it would have been much better if it had been for everyone.
But if she said it, it was clear that everyone in the world would try to catch her and kill her.
I couldn’t open her mouth because I couldn’t let go of her, who I loved, who needed her help.
…Even if it turns out like this.
I tried to push away my thoughts and handed over the question.
“So, she said that my physical condition is not without her after all?”
“Yes. If everything you said is correct, you will die unless your blood is drawn periodically.
Aside from that… Her already transformed body needs her magical power.
I don’t know if the concentration slowly decreases, but it was necessary to quickly subdue her, so she hastily removed all her mana from her body and it became poison.
After all, I think her powers will have to keep intervening in your body.
…In one way or another.”
Elena has long since left her post.
Shocked by my words, he turned his back to me as if he was running away.
That stagger.
Without being able to properly control her body, her feet moved to somehow distance themselves from me.
She was about to fall, but she let out her cry and ran away.
It was very pitiful. It was miserable.
Her despair seemed to run through my chest.
“You know I can’t control her.”
“None of us have been able to get over her. It even seems that she is immune to her holy powers now.”
“What?”
“Yeah, literally. The anti-vampire weapons worked at first, then they all shattered.
Zagon, who resisted the most, suffered the most.
All of the clothes imbued with holy power have been ripped off, and there are dozens of scars on the body.
The person who went out on a vampire hunt many times seems like that, but other people are afraid.
Above all, if this being is known to the current church…”
Did you say that the interior of the church is unusual these days?
Due to her leadership being killed and injured, the internal reform faction to which she belongs is proceeding with ‘purging’.
“If I let the world know about her existence, something terrible will surely happen… I think so.
The knights are also in a state of fear.
…Do you know why they came?”
“Thanks to Benjamin Atkinson. That playboy.”
It’s safe to say that all of her actions are actually because she’s one of those assholes.
After slaughter in front of me and desperately insisting on innocence,
The moments when he ruthlessly set me up saying that he will prove it soon are still strongly etched in my mind.
Her smiles mixed with tears brainwashed me even after that and made me keep hugging her.
Even though I was soaked in her pleasure, I remember the way I cared for her while she was indulging in her guilt and cursing herself.
Even when she tried to shake her head saying it was nothing, when I kissed her on the cheek, she burst into tears and hugged her.
Even when I hugged her with her arms wide open, I remembered her muttering to me with cloudy eyes.
‘I will never leave. Twice again, by your side.’
‘There is only you. I want to see only you and think only of you.’
‘Since I’ve found all the meaning in the world in you, I don’t need anything more.
Can you understand?’
‘I love you, Niel. I should have told you more often.
So I’ll make you listen to it until you get tired of it…
Please stay with me.’
The face of her hugging me while whispering so.
It was full of darkness.
…On reflection, she might have been more terrified than brazen.
Though I was terribly worried about what was to come, the way I showed it because I didn’t want to be separated from me.
Thinking of that, I started to get scared.
I kicked her out. It was the thing she feared the most and least wanted.
And her reaction was more than overbearing or angry…
My God.
No way.
When ‘that thing’ happened, she hurt herself and asked for forgiveness,
The great amount of blood spilled on her clothes and on the floor,
Then, what about her now?
“You know, that man-“
The words she tried to pass through her hair with her blue eyes were overpowered by my words and she disappeared.
“Yuliana, can you use tracking magic…?”
She was embarrassed by me for a moment, but she soon put her words down in front of me resolutely.
“It’s possible. But I won’t use it.
You’re trying to follow her. She’s done that and-“
“Please.”
She was not to be left alone.
If you’re going to ask for forgiveness, you should stand before my eyes and say it,
This was unacceptable.
It would have been better if the words were a little softer.
If I had told her to go to her other room and wait, would I have found her faster?
“Are you still fascinated? Niel, you know what you’ve been through and you say that – “
“It’s not like that.
At least it won’t cost anyone’s life to finish this. Never.
I can’t tolerate that.”
“Life? What do you mean by that?”
I think of her distorted face as she stabs, cuts, and slashes her own body, which continues to regenerate with her dagger.
“You can guess what she did to me when you saw her, but she’s extreme.
Now if she thinks of her condition…”
Yuliana’s face frowned. She also vaguely knows what I’m talking about.
“It may be a monster to you, but it is still a lover to me.
Her I can’t lose her just yet.
Let me at least talk to her.
I am well aware that this is an unreasonable request.
She’s a monster, a blood vampire that the Church has branded as heresy.
He even injured three people and brutally killed one, which is a bigger problem.
That must be what has led you and these people, surely?
But if I give up on her, no one will take responsibility for her.
She gave her her blood, and tried to embrace her, but if I lose.
If she’s worried, I’ll do something about it.
Whether it’s taking her to her deserted place, or disappearing with the two of her…
At least she can’t live without my blood now.
The woman I brought, the woman I saved, the woman I loved,
Yuliana, please. Help her pursue her.”
Did my earnest heart work?
She took one of her spheres from her bosom and placed it in my hand.
“It’s set up to chase her magic.
If you pour your mana into it, you’ll be able to chase it.
Go ahead. If that’s what you want.”
“Thank you, Yuliana. I will definitely be back.
Let’s talk a little longer then.
It was nice to meet you after a long time…!”
I hurriedly finished my words and ran with the sphere in my hand.
My legs stagger like water,
Occasionally I would scream because my knees strained, but –
I still had to run.
Because I was afraid of what Elena would do.
Because I was worried that I might not be too late.
…
“Ha, there really isn’t a gap.
The girl is definitely pretty, but she’s not as confident in her looks as I am.
You don’t give a glance, and you still hold on to her who has become a monster.
…I envy you.
Because she is a woman who can receive such love.
I finally understand. Why is that woman so crazy about you?
Anyone with that kind of responsibility will try to rely on you.”
