118. Am I the only one who didn’t know? (1)
[Episode 118] – Was I the only one who didn’t know? (One)
“Bring your mother to me right now!!”
Titania clenched the letter in her hand and let out a scream-like yell. A scream that sounded like she was vomiting filled the room. Mother leaves? Why? She definitely said she would wait? She said there was no way my mother would lie to me? Why on earth did my mother…!
“Mother…!”
I wanted to shout again, but in the end I couldn’t finish and my voice faded. It was because she didn’t feel reality even after she said it. Isn’t this all just a nightmare now? Aren’t you still dreaming at the academy?
Titania wanted to believe that she was dreaming.
It’s a terrible nightmare, but it’s a reality that disappears when you wake up.
A reality that can be laughed off, thinking it was just a nightmare.
I prayed for that.
All of this could not have been this unrealistic.
The letters her mother sent her every month were full of her longing for her. She said she wanted to meet her, that she wanted her to come back soon, and that she loved her very much.
I was confident that her mother’s letter, which was full of her affection, did not contain a single lie. But, what on earth is this? When she came back, she said that her mother had left this place.
That too was planned from the beginning. When she was six years old, all of this had been decided since her father passed away. So, she said that it was inevitable for her to leave the capital.
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That’s what it said in the short letter her mother left.
‘It was already planned.’
Then why?
If she knew I would leave this place, why did she pamper and love me so much? Why did she cherish me and treat me like a treasure, as if she would live by my side all my life? Why on earth?
If only she had known that she would leave the royal castle.
I’d rather hate you like I did in the old days.
I’d rather just bully them like they used to.
I’d rather just ignore it like in the old days.
I hope you have loved me until now.
You made it impossible for me to live without you.
Can you live without me?
I can’t do that.
I don’t think I could live if I thought you weren’t by my side.
You…
In the end, tears flowed from Titania’s eyes. One drop, two drops, began to flow non-stop down my cheek. When I cried like this, my mother always wiped my tears, but I guess it’s because she no longer has anyone to wipe them away. The tears that had gathered on her chin could not bear the weight and fell straight to the floor.
As I was just shedding my tears without even wiping them away, I heard the sound of the door opening. The Queen Mother, holding a cane, slowly walked in through the open door.
“Titania.”
“Grandma…”
The Queen Mother smiled bitterly, and she looked at Titania. Titania gasped as she approached her Queen Mother and almost fell to her knees, looking up at her pleadingly. Because the only person who could tell me that all of this was a lie was the Queen Mother. So, Titania confirmed the fact as if she was pleading.
“Ha, Grandma… Mom, you’re lying when you say you left… right? “Right?”
The Queen Mother sighed as she looked at Titania clinging to her.
She knew that Titania was dependent on Vivian. Although the two were not biological mother and daughter, they were close enough that anyone would think they were biological mother and daughter.
There were a lot of stories around those two people. It’s not nice to see a princess who will become queen of a country clinging too much to her adoptive mother. There was so much talk going on.
At least, we need to move Vivian away from Titania little by little. She says Vivian is ruining Titania’s chances of becoming self-reliant. This wasn’t the only time a story like this came up.
When the Queen Mother heard such a story, she was positive to some extent. It was clear that Titania depended on Vivian, and she had never shown herself to be independent. But-
If Vivian disappears, there will be no one left by Titania’s side. My mother and father are dead. Vivian was giving her parents the love she deserved.
The Queen Mother has so far ignored the comments of those around her, saying that it would be too cruel to take even that away from Titania. She says she will take responsibility for what happens to Titania. She said she would handle it herself.
‘In the end, I end up holding the whip.’
And now, the Queen Mother let out a short sigh, saying that the time had come for her to take responsibility. She told Vivian to write down the reasons why she had to leave the royal castle in her letter, but it seemed that she was not good enough.
The Queen Mother slammed the staff she was holding onto her floor! She did and she took down. She then held on to the hem of her dress and stared at Titania as she begged, and with another short, heavy sigh of her own she answered.
“It’s not a lie. “Vivian is gone, she is no longer queen and she is no longer your adoptive mother.”
Titania shed tears again in response. Although she was a little scared when she was young, her grandmother’s eyes, which she felt were warm, now felt very cold and dry.
“…Has your mother really left…?”
“Yes.”
“… Of course her grandmother knew… Right?”
“Yes.”
“But… Why didn’t I know until now…?”
Titania asked as she knelt on the floor. She asks why she wasn’t the only one who didn’t know, why didn’t she tell, why did she hide it until now. Titania asked, pursed her lips.
“I heard it’s a fact that has been established since I was six… If that’s the case…”
She said, “I decided you didn’t need to know.”
It was only after seeing her queen dowager’s reaction that Titania realized that all of this was real. ‘Really, my mother left me,’ she thought. She shivered as the reality of it all dawned on her.
Suppressed cries began to escape from Titania’s throat as she clung to her queen mother.
“Why… Why didn’t you tell me? If I had known, at least if I had known, I would never have felt this way or felt this way! At least…! “If only I had at least known…!”
The Queen Mother stood in her place and looked down at Titania. In contrast to the red rims of her eyes, her complexion was pale to white. The way her granddaughter looked at her was a look full of resentment.
The Queen Mother quietly looked at the scene. He didn’t pat her on the shoulder, whisper in a sweet voice, or even apologize for the whole situation. Just, she didn’t avoid Titania’s gaze as she knelt down on her knees and looked up at herself with resentment.
“Why did you do that..?! Why! With what kind of mind and mood do you think I endured that prison-like academy for three years?! She was only my mother! “The only thing that supported me was the letters her mother sent me!”
Titania screamed loudly.
She cried, sobbed, and argued with the Queen Mother. She grabbed the hem of the Queen Mother’s skirt, she scratched, and she screamed. She didn’t want her mother to come back, but she felt like she was going crazy if she didn’t do this.
“It’s not just the academy… It’s thanks to my mother that I’ve been able to live like this for the past ten years! But how could you do this to me…? Are you really not seeing her mother anymore? “She didn’t even see her mother leave the palace… She should have at least given her a chance to say goodbye…”
Titania’s sobbing voice pricked and pierced her queen mother’s heart.
I feel extremely guilty and sorry. She had expected Titania to react this way, but seeing it with her own eyes made her heart burn with guilt.
So the Queen Mother did not stop Titania from sobbing. Just standing still and accepting her granddaughter’s feelings was the only thing her relative, the Queen Mother, could do.
Looking down at Titania’s aspen-like trembling body, the Queen Mother swallowed her dry saliva to quench her burning throat. She held out her hand to Titania, who was sitting down, but Titania ignored her.
“Where is my mother… Where is my mother…?”
I was so choked up by her crying that I couldn’t speak properly.
I have to find it. That she had to find it. I need to bring him. I need to bring them back here. For that, please help me. Titania looked up at the Queen Mother with her eyes mixed with resentment and pleading.
“I don’t know. “After Vivian left the castle, she didn’t tell anyone where she was going.”
“Ah…”
Seeing Titania looking down at her floor with her tears streaming down her face, the Queen Mother shook off Titania, turned her head, and headed towards her door. The Queen Mother stopped by holding the handle, and she muttered as if she was talking to herself.
“Two years from now, when you turn twenty, your coronation ceremony as queen will be held. “At that time, I will either die or retreat to a separate room, so you can take care of it.”
“I can’t believe I’m dying…! “Your Majesty the Queen…!”
“I don’t believe you understood what I said.”
Bangsho called out to the queen as if asking what on earth she was talking about, but the queen continued her words, ignoring her bangs. Yeah, she had two years at most anyway.
Two years until Titania becomes queen.
Isn’t it said that time is medicine?
Hoping that Titania’s mind would have calmed down a little by then, the Queen Mother walked out of her room, holding her cane and ordering her maids to take care of Titania. At the same time, the Queen Mother gave an order to Bang Chau, who followed her.
“… I will let Titania do as she pleases for the time being. Anyway, given Vivian’s personality, she’s probably hiding in a place where Titania can’t easily find her.”
“…Yes, Your Royal Highness.”
The Queen Mother paused for a moment as she walked down the hallway, coughed a few times and let out her long sigh.
“It hurts…”
Body and mind.
It all hurt like it was torn apart.
Bangchot, who was watching the scene, did not know what to do and supported the Queen Mother.
“Her Highness the Queen Mother… Please wear a ceremonial body…”
“…Stop nagging. “This was necessary.”
*
After what happened with her queen mother, Titania locked herself in her room and did not come out for several days. Seeing her secluded as if she had been a child, Vinchot only sighed as he looked at the closed door.
“Princess… I will leave the meal at the door.”
As expected, no answer was heard from the tightly closed door. Vinchot sighed once again, recalling the past, then turned his head and went back to where he came from.
Titania closed the curtains in her room, blocking even sunlight from entering, and spent days lying in bed. Her whole body was covered in something that she didn’t know whether it was anger or sadness, and she couldn’t help it.
After her mother left, Titania, helpless and unable to find a place to put her heart, wandered. It felt like there was a hole in her heart because her mother, the standard of her life, was gone.
She thought and thought about it in her slightly cold head, but in the end, her reality did not change. No matter how hard I work, what good is it? Her mother wouldn’t come back here anyway.
Titania felt like all of this was punishment.
Punishment for having feelings she shouldn’t have towards her mother.
So, I thought that this result might be a predetermined result.
However, if she had known that she would break down so quickly, she would have confessed her feelings a long time ago.
I love you.
That she loves her mother as a person, not just as her family.
She wanted to make that confession and hear her mother’s answer.
I love her mother.
What do you think of her daughter who has fallen in love with her adoptive mother?
She is no longer a child who knows nothing.
Is it not possible to view her as an adult?
She can refuse, so she just asks me to stay by her side.
She wanted to ask her mother, who left me.
Was it really best for you to leave me? Called.
I wanted to bring her mother in front of me, look at her face, and hear the answer directly.
Titania, with her blanket covered all over her head, shed tears again. She thought her tears had dried up because she had already shed so much, but her throat was sore from the endless tears. After she had been sobbing for so long-
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“It really sucks. Who would think this is a princess’s room?”
Suddenly, the blanket rose up, and someone’s sigh was heard. As she rubbed her tear-blurred eyes, the sight of Veronica smiling bitterly came into Titania’s sight.
“Veronica…Sister…”
“…Hello, you bastard Titania.”
