15. Snow Moon Flower – 04
So, Arya quietly opened her eyes on the bed she was lying on just before.
Even though she had just been lying on the bed and closing her eyes tightly, there was no trace of sleepiness left in her eyes. Yes, that would be natural. Because Arya had never been sleeping on the bed from the beginning.
“…..”
It’s not because I haven’t been able to sleep today. It wasn’t even like insomnia. It was just that, from the beginning, the woman called Arya was a body that did not need to sleep, so it was only like that.
From the time she lost all her memories and woke up on Cain’s bed, until now, Arya had never asked for sleep.
No, it’s not just sleep. She never gained weight no matter what she ate, and her body never complained of fatigue no matter how vigorously she moved.
Two years ago, Aria, who had the appearance of just a cute girl, has now grown into a beautiful woman with a slight hint of youthfulness, so the people of the Duke of Estelle speculated that she was in her growing period.
In fact, it was a fact that Arya herself knew better that her body did not grow. He knew better than anyone else in the world that he was gradually returning to his ‘past self’ as he just accumulated mana and cultivated himself to a higher level.
…That was scary. It was terrifying to admit that he was essentially nothing more than Cain.
So she pretended to eat something in front of him, and every night she pretended to fall asleep. Because he thought that if he believed himself to be a human being and thought of himself as a human being, he would be able to stay by Cain’s side forever.
“…ah.”
But today, I couldn’t sleep at all. No, I couldn’t lie on the bed and pretend to be asleep.
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My mind was too complicated. It felt like my heart was pounding. My head was full of strange thoughts, but it was a strange feeling that I couldn’t remember what they were.
Arya, who had been tossing and turning on the bed for a long time, finally let out a low sigh and stood up. Somehow, I thought it would be impossible to have a leisurely ‘sleep’ on the bed tonight.
“…Should we go for a walk?”
I’m just going out to get some fresh air anyway. Aria, who slipped out of the bed while muttering that, was about to go outside in the light negligee she was wearing just before.
Realizing that he had forgotten the snowflake-shaped bracelet that he had left on the top of the desk for a while to ‘sleep’, he returned to the room.
On the day of the festival in Istad, the only accessory he bought for himself.
Even if it was only going out for a short while, she didn’t want to let go of the bracelet he had given her.
Arya was trying to put on the bracelet while tying her thin, white wrist, but ended up looking at herself in the mirror next to the bed. The mirror contained the image of a beautiful woman with white hair who could not be easily identified as a girl by anyone who looked at it.
Kwajik-
Arya unknowingly touched the mirror that reflected her image and filled her fingertips with power. At that moment, with the sound of something splitting, the front of the mirror was slightly cracked. In the multi-pronged mirror, Arya’s figure was being reflected on several people like a kaleidoscope.
…Arya really hated seeing herself reflected in the mirror. No, it was damned.
Because the white-haired woman reflected in the mirror had a history of driving the master she served to death.
Rather, how much better it would have been if she had remained as an ignorant girl who knew nothing in front of him.
I missed the self of those days, when I couldn’t remember anything about what I was like in the past, and I only received his prettiness.
Sarak-
Accompanied by the sound of her clothes brushing, she quietly moved her steps toward the duke’s patronage.
Under the auspices filled with moonlight, she walks leisurely. It was already late in the morning anyway, so there was no shadow of anyone other than her in the duchy’s patronage. At this moment, I sometimes feel as if there is only one girl under the sky.
…yes, everything seems to be the same as back then. A white world covered in snow, a land of frigid cold where no life other than her exists. Aria, the wicked winter witch who just stared blankly up at the sky in the cold snow kingdom she created.
And at the last moment, the image of a foolish man who took pity on the wicked witch who brought an endless winter to the entire continent is still vivid in my eyes.
“Come to think of it, two years have already passed.”
Arya murmured as she lightly touched the bracelet she was wearing.
Yes. Now that I think about it, it really couldn’t have been a blink of an eye.
A little girl who forgot her own name was given the name ‘Aria’ by him, learned magic to be a little bit of his strength, and for the past two years became his sword and protected his body.
Even though the man who put the sword through her heart pretends to be her master.
It was an absurd master-servant relationship in which an evil witch who had a history of freezing the entire world was acting as his handmaid.
Such daily repetition has become a precious daily routine that can not be replaced with anything for Arya.
Her own life, which was thought to be unattainable in her entire life, was filled with happy memories and was shining dazzlingly.
She thought that if she stayed by his side as ‘The Handmaiden Aria’ as she had been doing until now, this happiness she was currently feeling would last forever, but it seems that was not the case.
…was getting dizzy. Even she herself couldn’t figure out why, but her mind was so disturbed that she couldn’t calm down at all. Yes, it was as if she had gone back to those days, when she reigned alone on a white snowfield covered with snow, and it was as if an eerie feeling of emptiness and emptiness gripped her heart tightly.
“…ha…”
…my heart aches. For some reason, I felt like I felt pain in my heart. Around that time when Aria was just walking around the back garden in a daze—
“…aria?”
A passenger who was seated in the backyard one step ahead of her found Arya and called her name in a low voice.
“…Ka, Cain-sama?”
The person who was looking at her with the gaze that he never expected to face another person in a place like this, at a time like this, was none other than Cain.
“At this time, and in a place like this, what the hell…?”
When Aria opened her eyes wide and asked such a question, Cain only smiled bitterly.
“It’s just that I couldn’t sleep for some reason today.”
“…yes?”
“To put it simply, it means that my mind was somehow restless.”
Saying that, Cain tapped the side of the seat he was sitting on. A signal to sit next to you. Needless to say, Cain’s gesture was the hardest temptation in the world for a woman named Arya. In the first place, Arya didn’t even have the slightest desire to resist the temptation.
“…Yes, then excuse me.”
Eventually, when Aria, who was tempted, carefully sat next to Cain, Cain looked at Aria with a slightly worried look.
“Looking at your clothes, it looks like you went out for a night walk because you couldn’t sleep well, but you should have been a little more careful. Then, if something happens, what are you going to do?”
Saying that, Cain took off the coat he was wearing and gently put it on Arya. In an instant, Arya’s heart started beating wildly in a different way than before.
Smell, smell. Arya’s face turns bright red because the smell on his clothes is so palpable. embarrassed. It’s too embarrassing to find out that it’s not him, and that he’s ashamed of himself because of the smell coming from his clothes.
“…ka, Cain-sama!”
“Why is that, Arya?”
“Well, by the way, why didn’t you sleep well, Cain-nim? You said that you would fall asleep if you just closed your eyes because you were so tired these days.”
In case he noticed what kind of face she was making, Arya swallowed every word that came out of her mouth, and he answered with a wry smile for some reason.
“…Well. There could be many reasons, but it’s probably because I heard the news that my child might be born.”
“…Aye, yo.”
The moment she heard that, Arya’s heart, which had been pounding just before, cooled down like a lie.
“To be honest, it was a little scary, and a little scary. Because the birth of a child that I will embrace warmly, that I will love very much, and that I will be responsible for to the end, something makes my heart tremble.”
Saying that, Cain stared blankly at the moon shining brightly in the night sky. He was currently holding something that did not yet exist in the world in his pupils.
“To love only someone, look only at someone else, and think only of someone else, no matter how much time goes by, you really can’t get used to it.”
At his words, which contained nostalgia for some reason, Aria bit her own lips without realizing it.
I just realized it. Tonight, about why you’ve been feeling so strange, why you’ve been feeling such a strange sensation.
…I was just, scared.
If Iris gave birth to his child, he feared that he would take all the attention, affection, and love from Cain that was directed at her.
That fact was so frightening.
Two years ago, when I woke up next to him.
The woman by his side was only himself.
…It was a truly fulfilling time.
It was a truly beautiful time when every effort he made, every time he had, and his very existence became his use.
The one who serves him closest, the one who listens to him the most, the one he talks to the most, the one who gives him the slightest instructions, the one who is his companion-
It must have been a brilliant time that did not exist outside of himself.
…but now, two years later, the woman by his side is no longer alone.
He no longer cares only for himself. Look only at yourself, and don’t show affection only to yourself.
Know. That he is one, while there are many women to whom he must give his love. And he knew perfectly well that he could not help it if his love for her had diminished even a little –
…However, I couldn’t stand it. The total amount of affection a person has is never finite. It was a terrible fact to imagine that she would get the smallest portion of the pie out of all the pieces of his love that had been split and split again.
Even more frightening was the fact that there was a self who couldn’t satisfy the love that was heading towards him.
A few hours ago, Arya’s first thought when she heard that Iris was expecting his child was none other than that.
It was an intent to kill.
It wasn’t the intent to kill the child. Arya just couldn’t stand the pain, just the fact that another woman was staying by his side, making up for what he lacked.
hate. so much, i hate it It wasn’t just jealousy. Deep in her heart, Arya was thinking of Cain as her own. He hated the very act of sharing his happiness with another woman—
…That was the cause of the dizziness. The current self is obviously not normal. I’d rather be jealous He was terrified of having such a sinister and sloppy heart toward Cain.
Even at this moment, this feeling of thinking of Cain as his possession was gradually growing. He took him for granted as his property, and he was only taking himself for granted.
It was no one else’s business for Sarah Cernard to be so shaken and heartbroken.
If Cain doesn’t look back at himself, he will end up like that.
…I hate that.
Because if he ends up being like the past, if he ends up being weird, another woman might stay by his side.
I hate the idea that I might end up hurting him, just like my old self-
“…aria?”
He looked back carefully at himself, perhaps noticing his own seething thoughts. In his eyes, there was only concern for her. Arya gasped for breath at the love she had for herself.
“…Cain, sir…”
Even so, she couldn’t reveal to him that she was so broken. He’s obviously sweet, so if you tell him the whole truth, he’s sure to pour himself a lot of love. will wrap you warmly.
…But is it really the right choice to cling to him so much, beg, and howl?
Will the ugly desire for only one’s own happiness be the right path?
“… Lord Cain.”
Struggling to suppress all her desires, she looks straight into the eyes of the most beautiful thing she knows. Even if I was going to fool someone else, I didn’t want to tell a lie in front of him.
“If I-”
He firmly believes that if this man, who had become a wicked witch who was destroying the world alone, pushed his sword without hesitation, he would be able to take on his future.
“…if I become a very bad witch like in the past, would you please take care of me?”
Dare to talk about a moment in the future that even she couldn’t be sure of, Aria spit out her only sincere wish to Cain.
“…witch?”
At Arya’s words, Cain stopped moving for a moment and hesitated.
But, that’s for a while.
“…yes, I promise you.”
He carefully patted Arya’s head and returned the answer in a small voice.
“If you do something bad, I will be the first to punish you, Aria.”
In response to his playful yet sincere answer, Arya smiles reassuringly and takes a long breath.
“…That’s really, fortunately.”
At his answer without hesitation, Arya looked up at the night sky and gently closed her eyes.
I’m really glad I fell in love with you.
