[Whoops, I know. ]
After all, he was a weak person for praise. Even though Liszt grumbled, he made me feel good right away. Then he coughed for nothing and said.
[Kuhmm, well, anyway, what I’m going to tell you is simple. If you want results, you have to build up the process. It’s up to you how you structure the process. come closer In any way, your way. As usual, unlike any other. ]
“… that’s very vague advice?”
[Do you think there is such a thing as a definite answer to dating? ]
Still, Liszt responded with the thesis.
But ironically, even though Liszt had been saying the same thing from beginning to end, Rowoon felt as if he had just heard an answer.
Putting down his earphones, Rowoon looked into his mind for a while. I faced a love affair that seemed to have grown so suddenly, perhaps from a very long time ago. Jealousy, timidity, and obsession, all of which were spread in the love affair, also raised their heads and looked at Rowoon.
‘······okay. I see.’
Rowoon listened to them whispering to him for a moment. Realizing that my heart had never left him for a single moment, but I hadn’t really faced it like this.
‘I don’t know how I feel, but how can I express it?’
First of all, you have to know what it looks like to be able to draw it or not.
The mind told Rowoon a story for a very long time. And at the end of the story, Rowoon’s reaction was the same as always. He got up from his seat and left the room. I sat in front of the piano facing the practice room.
‘······ Let’s play.’
the voice of the heart.
Despite the keyboard they always share, Rowoon’s hand caressed him more carefully than usual. Like a painter who captures the soul in each hair of a woman, he tried to express the tone and shape of his heart as it is in each note. I wanted to contain it.
‘What is a piano…’
A smile emerges. The more he gets to know him, the more the piano whispers to him. allow him to do more. I was grateful and happy for that. It’s good that he didn’t give up the piano, and that joy welled up constantly and dominated his soul and his fingers.
It’s ironic. When Brahms composed the Schumann Variations, he was placed in a different situation from Rowoon now. He agonized between loyalty to his teacher and greed for his beloved, and tried to escape from that agony.
Then, what is Rowoon expressing through this performance? Guilt toward the master? Rowoon couldn’t have that. Those who could be called teachers to Rowoon were Asher Baum and Han Seok-hoon, but there was no reason to feel guilty between them and Rowoon.
The situation of Rowoon and Brahms, their souls do not match. can’t match
But, that’s what it is.
There is no musician who can fully sympathize with, integrating into all the experiences of the composer. Because one cannot be two.
just represent just deliver There was such a musician. This musician wanted to express this through this music. How do you hear? I think like this. I felt this way while watching this. I wanted to play like this.
How about his song sung with my voice?
The question a real pianist should ask was as simple as that.
And, just as simple, Rowoon’s voice played a Brahms song.
＜ Two Hearts (9) ＞ End
＜ Two Hearts (10) ＞
This is the music of Brahms, which I thought was difficult. I thought it was too much for Rowoon to dare to understand his life and his musical characteristics.
But I guess I know now. That you don’t have to accept everything from him. The audiences who come to his stage do not simply want to hear Brahms. I want to enjoy all the immaturity, enthusiasm, and effort of a young pianist playing Brahms.
If so, you just have to show it.
‘······It’s strange.’
The fact that Rami’s presence, which he had not paid much attention to until recently, felt so huge.
Even though I didn’t add noticeable practice, the performance is different like this.
everything is weird mysterious I don’t know. And so good.
Drunk with music, drunk with Brahms, Rowoon immersed himself in the performance again and again.
‘ah.’
And suddenly I thought.
I want to see Rami.
#
“······sorry.”
That was the first thing Eric said to Rami after the broadcasting incident broke out. Rami looked at her friend with a puzzled expression. And he sighed.
“What are you sorry about?”
“It’s just that it created this situation… that’s all. I have nothing to say.”
“Why do you do something you have nothing to say?”
The cigarette in Rami’s finger burned weakly. She didn’t shake the ashes, she didn’t even smoke, she just held her cigarette like that. As if I just listened to Eric’s story and watched Eric’s choice.
“No matter what you confess, do you do it in front of millions of people?”
“That’s how it happened to talk in a fit of anger.”
From noble mtl dot com
“Stupid. anyway.”
“know.”
Eric meekly accepted all of Rami’s criticisms this time. In all honesty, he was in the wrong situation. Confession itself would honestly not be a problem, but there was no way to justify such a cowardly, unfashionable confession.
“I wanted to be a bit cool.”
That’s why the smile on Eric’s lips couldn’t help but become more bitter.
“That is very difficult. difficult. More than music.”
“Because music is what we do best. No wonder it feels more difficult than music.”
“Are we getting awkward now?”
“It was awkward at first.”
Rami slowly lit a cigarette. The tip of the cigarette burned to a color resembling her lips, and a hazy smoke like her eyes slowly leaked from the corners of her nose and mouth.
“Okay. You and me too.”
“I didn’t know.”
“You are a good friend. Of course, sometimes I was a bit sloppy, unlucky, and rude, but, well, still.”
Rami shrugged.
“I didn’t want to lose a friend.”
“…do you mean refusal?”
“What do you think would be different if I didn’t say no?”
Rami raised her finger from her cigarette and pointed at him and then at her.
“If we date So what’s next? Well, maybe I can fall in love with you too. You might be dating for quite some time. But we’ll break up eventually If you contact each other, it will be between annoying rather than good. That’s what dating is like. Ending a friendship that could have lasted forever, seeing each other more often for a few years, or even less, and then parting ways.”
“Isn’t that too extreme?”
“It’s a realistic statement.”
Rami smoked again.
“And I am a realist.”
“…”
“Sorry.”
Just as Eric apologized to her, Rami also apologized to him.
“The reality I saw is yes.”
I didn’t even have to ask what that ‘yes’ was like. It was the answer he expected, but it didn’t seem like he wasn’t holding out hope, so Eric felt his heart skip a beat. My blood vessels narrow, my fingertips get cold, and I feel as if reality is drifting away from me.
“······huh. yes.”
“Should I have been more clear?”
Eric shook his head.
“No, I made sure enough. I’m the problem. Arbitrarily assign meaning to it, expect that there will be something, and then… No, let’s stop talking. I don’t think there’s any point in talking about it any more.”
“…”
“It will be awkward. we. It was awkward at first, but maybe more now.”
“You can do something that didn’t exist.”
“Millions of people already know?”
“Still, it’s possible to do things that didn’t exist between us.”
“I don’t know if that is right.”
Eric answered calmly.
“A lot of people will say that what I did this time was a mistake. Admit it. But, I don’t hate this mistake that much. Of course, it’s a pity that I wish I had more tips, but I’ve become a little more free thanks to you.”
Thoughts that bound him like chains.
can i have her
will she like me
How can we get closer?
Does the future of the two of them even exist?
I don’t see any possibility, so can I continue to hang on here?
Even if you can’t taste it, is there such a thing as a fruit that is valuable just by looking at it?
Eric may not have had answers to those questions, but at least he didn’t have to be bound by them any longer. freedom. Could the word freedom be more appropriate than this?
Of course, it was a freedom that could not be welcomed, but Eric still thought that this was the correct answer. I can’t live in Rami’s shadow forever. I had to move forward. I had to shake it off.
“thanks.”
Eric started with an apology and expressed his gratitude.
“Thanks to you, I grew up a lot.”
