Chapter 445 – #93_Your Memory (3)
#444
One.
The day Amelia inherited her brand.
Master was murdered by Amelia Marigold without leaving a will.
At least Amelia accepted it that way.
In a cruel twist of fate, Amelia cried and collapsed over and over again.
Amelia was alone at the funeral, which was rare to find.
By the time the funeral of the master, who had no remains, was over.
Amelia no longer shone.
The dreamy natural scenery and the warm days of the cabin, which were illuminated by her light, were only immersed in deep darkness.
In the abyss deeper than the deep sea, in solitude darker than the mire.
She sat at the table, hugged her magical papers, and studied magic endlessly.
As if that’s the only reason she exists.
She didn’t say a word, didn’t sleep, or didn’t eat.
In a dark space.
Time passed.
Spring comes, summer comes, autumn comes, winter comes, and spring comes again.
Even if that happens over and over again, as if only magic is my mission and my only refuge. Amelia just kept her place.
“…….”
Shiwoo did not dare to say that he understood her despair.
Amelia silently undercut her own feelings.
She was betrayed because she trusted her, and she resents her because she loved her.
Therefore, she anesthetized herself to the point where she was no longer sad or sick, and burrowed into her own world.
Even if I reach out and put my hand on her shoulder in her pity, it only fades and recomposes again like her phantom.
Know.
That this place is just a trace of her memories that have already passed away.
No matter how sad he was, Siwoo couldn’t do anything.
A very, very long time has passed.
If you compare Amelia’s tenure as an associate professor with her actual age, she would have been alone for well over 100 years.
Soon Sophia came.
As soon as she found Amelia, she hugged her and was led by the hand of Sophia, who was shedding tears, and Amelia became an associate professor at Trinity Academy.
2.
In fact, Amelia didn’t change much when she was reassigned as an associate professor.
It’s just that Sophia visits and disrupts her research more often, and her workshop has been turned into a public facility provided by the academy.
In her early years, Amelia’s daily life was not much different, as she did not even take care of her twin’s education.
She was still locked in her own somber world.
After that, it was things Siwoo knew.
Amelia, who summoned Si-woo and stir-fried him, and Si-woo, who was suffering from it.
In the process, Sofia provoked Amelia, and Siu rejected Amelia’s clumsy temptation, so he learned the story behind her mistress.
At that time, it was persistent bullying for Siwoo to feel.
No matter what other people say, they won’t be able to justify the action.
However, Siwoo, who learned about Amelia’s past and imperfection, saw the same memories differently.
Amelia was just clumsy.
She didn’t know how, because she had never been close to anyone, and she instinctively resisted giving her heart to others.
Because she’s afraid of getting hurt again.
I’m afraid of being left alone again.
Is it too much of an illusion that her meaningless behavior feels like a mournful gesture?
As usual, Amelia ordered a meaningless errand.
Siwoo only knew that she was always immersed in her magic research.
However, after about three years had passed, her gaze was constantly glancing at Siwoo whenever her back turned.
A space filled with darkness where nothing around could be seen.
As the relationship with Shiu gets longer, a weak light like fireflies blooms around Amelia.
But when that light is about to bloom, Amelia always suppresses it with her will.
Shaking her head or turning her gaze silently to the magic research site.
I would have been afraid.
She seems to be more confused in her clumsy situation, not knowing how to deal with her emotions.
Again, her memory blurs and traverses for a while.
Just because she wanted to see a little more, she wasn’t one to peek into.
“…….”
The landscape changed again.
Siu felt her legs loosen up as the landscape began to look as bright as when Amelia was a child.
A low hill covered with wild barley shoots and an unknown tree.
Even though it was broken as sharp as a piece of glass, fragments of memories that were forcibly squeezed in crumpled come out again.
It was also the most regretful moment for Siwoo.
On this day, Siwoo regained his memory.
Amelia was also very intimidated when she saw Siwoo, who was different from usual.
In front of Siwoo, who mechanically repeats only short answers, he immediately picks up the words that come to mind as if he were a sinner.
Crying in his memory, he struck Amelia’s hand with the back of his hand, as if he was about to burst into tears at any moment.
Threw me away
Shin Si-woo shouts in memory.
He scolds and accuses Amelia, with her deafening shouts and her comically tearing at her hair.
Amelia just wept, and she did nothing but plead.
The scenery of the two people is getting farther away as if they are looking at it from a very far distance.
After that, Siwoo calmly left Amelia.
Amelia, who was left behind without being able to hold on to her properly, was deprived of her long-awaited shining world again.
After Master left, he was abandoned even by Shin Si-woo, the first person he opened up to.
Amelia went on a trip.
In exchange for saving Siu’s life, Keter demanded the fulfillment of the killing department.
Left in the lonely darkness again like her empty doll, Amelia just fulfills her everything.
Just like when Master passed away, he was only immersed in magic.
When Siwoo left, he was only madly engrossed in hunting.
He risked his life to hunt for the person he had abandoned so mercilessly, and afterwards, he suffered a sense of guilt alone as he killed his exploits.
“…….”
Siu couldn’t say anything.
He didn’t deserve to be frustrated with her.
Why, like an idiot, repeats the tortured steps without opening the note properly.
Why are you being so stupid?
Don’t you already know?
Amelia, who was not good at all other emotions because she had been alone for too long after Master passed away,
But there was a feeling she knew better than anyone else.
Love-hate.
In solitude, Amelia pondered the pain caused by the lies of the person she had already trusted and loved the most.
For many times longer than Siwoo’s lifetime, he resented Master, loved him, and suffered accordingly.
He knew that it was self-righteous to believe that acts of goodwill and love would always be acceptable.
I knew that a one-sided feeling would be a lifelong scar for someone.
Amelia understood Siu more than anyone else.
That’s why, like a fool, she waited for Siwoo to look back someday, hiding herself in a place where she couldn’t see her and continuing her atonement in agony.
To the end of the last.
Until the moment when she is tricked by the Witch of Whispers and spreads great magic in Tarot Town.
In the end, she didn’t resent Siwoo.
She only resented and hated herself.
“…….”
Siu wiped away the flowing tears.
There was a door at the end of Amelia’s memory and the road she had passed.
Black and black door.
Siu twisted the doorknob open with his trembling hand.
Amelia was confined to a cramped space that could barely fit a couple of people.
On her head is a corolla that Siu made for her when she was young.
I was holding her lap and curled up like a fetus.
I feel it intuitively.
She is not the Amelia of memory who couldn’t hug or apologize.
This is the image she has.
The woman who felt only esoteric of her, who looked like her subject in her blurry focus, is now clearly visible.
A timid little girl who has no choice but to be weak, wants love but has no courage to approach her.
That’s you
Amelia.
Can I approach you?
Does Siwoo, who lived a peaceful life without even knowing her pain, deserve to hold her hand now?
“Miss Amelia.”
Let Siwoo stretch out his hand.
A very unpleasant sound began to be heard.
Purple snake.
In a corner of darkness where Amelia had been distracted by her appearance and hadn’t noticed it yet.
A long snake emerges from her tongue and coils around Amelia’s body.
“Stop!”
I don’t know what that snake is.
But I intuitively felt that I had to stop immediately.
It’s close, but it seems like it’s right in front of you, but in reality there is a long gap between the two.
The spear Siu wielded emptily crossed the air.
As she raised her surprised eyes and looked around her, Amelia’s visual landscape, her memory, all collapsed.
Instead of a roaring sound like a collapsing building….
I hate you Actually, it’s painful. Let’s give up You will fall more with me.
Whisper.
I can only hear a few of the incomprehensible voices that come out when I’m pressed by the scissors.
A sweet someone’s voice that echoes and crushes the son-in-law.
Siwoo looked at Amelia with trembling eyes.
In the collapsing darkness.
In the fragments of collapsing memories, Amelia and Siu looked at each other for a very brief moment.
Her eyes are wonderfully transparent and cold, as if they are emotionless.
Eventually finally.
In Amelia’s image, all the lights went out like the stage at the end of a play.
Siwoo’s consciousness was infinitely sucked downward after the feeling of endless gravity pulling his toes.
