37 – Nocturne
A letter is complete with only the sender and receiver, and the mailman merely plays the role of a mediator.
Both the sender and receiver remain unaware of the mailman’s face. Whether young or old, regardless of their origin, all they ever see are mailboxes and postboxes.
Thus, the fundamental reason for my current distress is that, essentially, I am not a mailman.
I must not casually hand over the letter.
Mrs. Démant. In other words, Lanya Démant arrived in the Federation just before the war, and now, after the war, there is virtually no way for a regular Imperial citizen to send a letter to the Federation.
In short, this letter is practically evidence that I am a defector from the Empire.
“….”
I had to be cautious.
I am not a mailman, and while Werner may not know much about me personally, he knows enough to be sufficient for reporting to the police and judicial authorities.
So, my plan was as follows.
Handing the letter from person to person is absolutely prohibited. It must either go through an anonymous intermediary or be secretly placed among his belongings.
Today’s execution method was the latter.
The atmosphere happened to be relatively calm. Some people were asleep, and there were few in the current area, with a person on the terrace above inhaling cigarette smoke.
I looked at Werner.
Sitting arrogantly on a single-person sofa, legs crossed. It seemed ordinary at first glance, but perhaps due to a slight intoxication, he had remained motionless in that posture for about ten minutes.
Now is the chance.
I carefully took out the letter and approached Werner.
Behind the sofa, there is a familiar bag. It’s his bag that I saw on the day of the entrance exam results.
Quietly―
I moved so he wouldn’t notice, and threw the letter into the bag.
The single letter in my palm flew into the leather bag.
Mission accomplished.
“…Phew.”
A sigh of relief escaped on its own.
What should I say? It ended much easier than I thought.
When Werner discovers the letter later, he may wonder who did it, but at least it won’t develop into suspicion about my background.
Why is my heart pounding like this?
As I was about to leave with the mentality of a thief who has completed a perfect crime, I suddenly stopped in my tracks.
Come to think of it.
Does Werner know about Diana’s existence?
“…”
It’s been eight years.
It’s been eight years since I lost contact with my mother. Considering that the empire has been engulfed in war during that time, it wouldn’t be strange to assume that she died.
Furthermore, eight years ago, I was still in my early teens.
I wasn’t old enough to fully understand the wars between nations or the family circumstances.
Then, we can venture into such speculation.
Werner assumes that he has parted ways with his mother, and wonders if she might not even know that she is of imperial descent.
I narrowed my eyes.
If that’s the case, by handing over this letter, I would be stamping Werner with the mark of an imperial half-breed. This is something to ponder.
It was when I was lounging behind the single-seater sofa.
Werner moved.
“Eugene!”
“Uh, yes?”
“That hat of yours, you mentioned it was a gift.”
Slowly nodding, I saw him chuckle and speak.
“It’s like our mother’s craftsmanship, you know.”
“…!”
“Ah, it doesn’t really mean anything. The awkward shape of the handmade hat is still evident. I have something similar too. Although I wore it when I was young and now it just won’t fit my head.”
hahahahaha, whether it was the effects of alcohol or not, Werner laughed heartily.
I wanted to join in the laughter, but my lips wouldn’t cooperate.
In the end, I opened my mouth with a firm expression.
“Perhaps it’s not just a coincidence. By the way, is your mother doing well?”
“I don’t know.”
“What?”
“My mother is from the empire, you see. Just around the time of the war, she moved to the empire, and we lost contact because of it, or so she said.”
“…I’m sorry.”
“No need for an apology. It’s a surprisingly common story in today’s world, isn’t it?”
My speculation was wrong.
Werner knew everything.
And he was a person who could confidently mention being an imperial half-breed. Well, considering he even heard rumors of being a scoundrel, what’s there to be afraid of?
But one curious point was that his tone seemed like he heard it from someone else rather than experiencing it firsthand.
That doubt was immediately resolved.
“My father also passed away a few weeks after the war broke out. Unfortunately, he was in the front-line unit that suffered the most damage.”
“…!”
“Being an orphan who lost both parents due to the war, the sponsors of the Norton Club helped me understand the situation and raised me. My father was one of the early members of the Norton Club. Now, this place is like my home.”
As Mrs. Dieman spoke, her husband mentioned he was a soldier.
Yes, this story seemed even more plausible.
“The news of my father’s sacrifice. The fact that I could no longer see my mother. All of it had to be heard here at the Norton Club.”
Werner’s expression gradually hardened. It seemed the cheap wine wasn’t enough to lift his spirits.
When he spoke again, I wanted to plug my ears.
“I despise the empire.”
*
“hahahahaha!”
“Are there two violinists and anyone who can play the cello?”
After some time passed, the atmosphere quickly regained its warmth.
No, rather, it seemed even more lively.
As they debated, spraying spit, each person held a musical instrument. Even those who had dozed off were now wide awake, laughing uproariously while enjoying the peculiar symphony.
It was somewhat surprising that Werner was a violinist.
The composer, who had been called Maestro Mahler, also joined, wielding a conductor’s baton.
Around the time a painter who couldn’t bear the commotion finally left outside,
I alone remained detached from this atmosphere.
Around that time, I wanted to fill my pipe with tobacco.
Alcohol wasn’t to my liking. So, my only refuge was the pipe.
Since I hadn’t brought tobacco, I used what was stocked at the Norton Club.
I filled the pipe with tobacco, lit it little by little, not knowing at all how tightly to pack the tobacco or how to light it. I just went with a rough guess, and it didn’t work out well.
After extinguishing the flame about ten times like that, I declared surrender.
“Director Loveless. It would have been nice if you had taught me how to use it….”
In the end, I reluctantly grabbed the bottle next to me and took a swig.
Only then could I forget Werner’s words and go along with this atmosphere.
“Kuh.”
It still doesn’t suit my taste.
Not only does it lack flavor, but the alcohol itself seems weak. After just a few sips, my vision started to blur.
Becoming hard to control, I sat on the sofa, collapsing as if lying down.
“hahahahaha!”
“Alright, once again! In 4/4 time—”
With a messed-up rhythm and a dissonant melody, I closed my eyes.
Thoughts sank.
The Empire and the Federation. The Federation and the Empire.
I am the foreigner who crossed over from the Empire to the Federation.
I’ve received quite a lot of attention so far. Furtive glances, overt stares, and often, encounters with the hatred accompanied by language and actions.
But I know, and they know too. Such hatred is superficial.
It’s a momentary discomfort for me, and for them, it’s just a fleeting satisfaction of superiority.
That’s their limit, and fundamentally, it can’t affect me in any way.
However, it’s different when it comes to someone close.
The biggest problem, my family, resolved somehow with the tolerance akin to the Oslo family’s tolerance, but relationships formed throughout life aren’t limited to that.
Friends.
Lovers.
The family I will build anew.
I imagined it. Those with painful memories, upon learning about my origins, looking at my gray hair and uttering such words.
—Hateful.
“Ah.”
Dislike.
I hated it intensely.
Frausen is no longer just a transit point. It’s where I must live and build new connections.
Then.
Will I someday hear those words?
The performance came to a halt.
Due to the intoxication, the accident unknowingly expanded without an end. My reason earnestly argued that this was a whim, a problem that could be sufficiently changed depending on my efforts. However, it was insufficient to block the emerging ideology like dark clouds.
I slowly rose from the sofa.
Conveniently, the young men who had stopped playing were gathered around the table by the road, so I stepped towards them.
From Noble mtl dot com
There is still a minimum discernment to prevent a leak of secrets.
“You all.”
However, I spoke while taking off my hat, mixing in a bit of sincerity.
“Look at my hair. It’s the color of ashes left over from burning in the fireplace. It’s called the imperial bloodline color that everyone hates, isn’t it repulsive to all of you?”
Their gazes turned towards me.
I closed my eyes, waiting for the next words.
Thinking that I would comply with whatever language came my way.
However.
“It’s a stale debate.”
“Again with that? It’s already been done dozens of times, and it’s boring.”
“To put it differently, it’s entertaining enough to do it dozens of times more.”
Rather than the atmosphere calming or being surprised, they all started to laugh slyly and gradually raised their voices.
At that moment, Werner suddenly stood up from his seat.
“Now! Our newcomer, the top student of the Magic University, Eugene Oslo, has brought a topic!”
“What, what?”
“Where is the inherent value of humans?”
As Werner shouted, the eyes of the young men, ten in total, turned sharply towards him.
“Obviously, it’s about capability, isn’t it? I still find it distasteful to hear those who babble about barbaric bloodlines. Especially those who have no abilities at all.”
“The world we live in is right here. Ultimately, once a human is born, they can only be enslaved by larger entities! I don’t think international affairs are an exception, do you?”
“Originality.”
“What?”
“Those without subjectivity and originality in life are corpses.”
Soon, using their elevated voices, they began a fierce debate. It had been a long time since my initial question had been forgotten.
The one responsible for the situation, Werner, was laughing heartily beside me, looking at the scene.
“…What’s so amusing?”
“hehehehe. Eugene. You don’t find this funny? Look at those guys.”
Only then did I properly observe the demeanor of the young men.
Wearing hats, with ties loosened and shirts in disarray due to the top button being undone – a complete mess.
Crucially, all of them wore paired oxford shoes and engaged in quarrels as if tap dancing, creating a spectacle that was nothing short of absurdity, considering the gray hair.
“Why does Norton Club have such a peculiar dress code.”
Werner chuckled and opened his mouth.
“We discard positions, origins, honor, and status. The moment we open the doors of the Norton Club, we become pure intellectual jesters! All we do is laugh, shout, and engage in debates, nothing more than a troupe of jesters.”
“hahahaha.”
“Maybe because of what I said earlier, you seem to be in deep thought. Hating the Empire is just a literal expression. After all, starting with our mothers, we’re all children of the Empire. Something as trivial as hair color.”
Werner looked at me and grinned shamelessly.
“Magic is synonymous with challenge.”
“What?”
“Those who don’t challenge themselves are worthless. The only criterion I use to judge people is that! Whether your hair is gray or whatever, it doesn’t matter. You’re a man I acknowledge.”
I stared at him with my mouth wide open.
Provocation.
I instantly understood why Werner was called a troublemaker at School 4.
However.
“You… are truly insane.”
“Take it as a compliment.”
Just as he acknowledged me, I finally acknowledged him.
*
The second floor of Bar Prelude is a terrace exclusively for the Norton Club, off-limits to regular customers.
I called Werner there.
“Why here?”
“Werner.”
I took out a piece of paper from my pocket and handed it to Werner.
“Don’t ask anything.”
Something I took from his bag.
After handing him the letter, I said nothing and stood by the terrace railing.
The winter wind brushes against my cheeks.
After lighting a match from the matches I brought with me, I carefully ignited the tobacco leaves inside the pipe.
After several attempts, the tobacco leaves finally began to smolder, emitting smoke slowly.
Using the fluttering sound of nearby paper as background music, I put the pipe to my lips and drew in.
“…Keullok. Collok!”
Every time I coughed, smoke billowed out uncontrollably with my breath.
It stung my eyes, almost bringing tears.
Hastily, I extinguished the pipe.
Alcohol and tobacco don’t suit me. The advice from Director Loveless to take them with me to the Nocturne Club was utterly useless.
As expected.
It seems I’m still not quite an adult.
*
When I hung the black scarf back on the hanger.
The calendar was already announcing the start of the summer semester at the Prussian Federal School of Magic.
