62 – Coming of Age Ceremony (2)
“Congratulations on becoming an adult, Russell.”
It’s been a long time since my mother who said that made me a complete wreck.
Her top was worse than not being worn,
Mom was like that too.
I was sitting at my desk, covered in sweat from the sweat I shed in the hallway.
Even now, warm food was slowly coming out of the kitchen.
But I didn’t feel like talking about them.
Anyway, it was all bound to be extremely sweet.
Just like all the food and water I have ever consumed.
“I tried roasting a turkey slowly and with butter.
Are you not particularly interested?”
I cut the pure white breast meat into chunks and watched blankly as my mother skillfully cut it into small pieces.
They poured red sauce on it and it looked so disheveled when it was brought to me.
His hair was matted and wet with sweat, and only after being touched several times did he manage to reveal his yellow eyes once again.
Her undone shoulder straps barely covered her mother’s soft, large body.
It seems like if you touch it just a little bit, it will go down in an instant.
“Shh… It’s not the time yet.
The dragon night will be very long and wet.
It’s good to look forward, but it’s also important to prepare.
Don’t you need to eat to gain strength?
Because I don’t want to waste our precious anniversary.”
I picked up a piece as white as the skin where my face had been buried dozens of times,
I looked at her mother for a moment as she put it to my mouth.
Her mouth was wide open.
Even though I didn’t want it.
“That’s right. They’re really accepting it now.
I feel like I’m remembering the day I brought you in when you were starving.
He was really small at the time, but now he has become a full-fledged adult with the scent of a man.”
But, something was strange.
The food was normal.
So, it wasn’t sweet.
I was slowly opening my eyes to the slightly sour taste of the sauce.
“I guess you’re happy to eat real food after a long time.
That’s why I made a lot of them, so you can eat as much as you want. Ruler.”
The fork was in my hand.
I gained enough strength to catch it.
Slowly, the white flesh continued to turn red, and he put it into his mouth.
And then chewed it.
Little by little, and diligently.
How long have I been lying down?
If what was whispered to me is true, and if it is true that this is the year I become an adult,
It had clearly been lying on that bed for over a year… No.
Definitely one day, he pushed me with his body and made me stand against the wall.
I think there was another day when I held it on my body and looked into its eyes for a long time.
Like a doll given to a child, like that –
“The food doesn’t suit your taste?
I think I’m eating too slowly.”
“Uh, no…”
In a crawling voice, she tried to somehow stop her mother, whose eyes were sparkling.
The food was delicious, to the point of bringing tears to my eyes.
I don’t know what I’ve put in my mouth so far, but the sour taste was so new to me who had only experienced sweet things.
If you do not apply sauce, the savory taste will be lost.
And the gravy that soaked your mouth was truly wonderful.
“Then how about cutting it a little bigger and putting it in your mouth?
Now, hurry up and eat. In the meantime, make an easy-to-eat sandwich – “
“S-I don’t like sandwiches…!”
The memory of the day when my body’s freedom was taken away came immediately to mind with just one word.
A food that kills the senses in your mouth one by one and makes you spit out sticky saliva containing only one taste.
“Yeah, that’s right. I guess I don’t like sandwiches.”
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I nodded my head vigorously.
Until you put down the bread.
And before I could say anything else, I hurriedly stuffed the large lump into my mouth.
It wasn’t long before I realized that I didn’t have the ability to bite it.
“Ugh… Kek…”
My teeth were digging in, but chewing was very difficult.
Even though I wanted to swallow it somehow, the cut pieces were very large.
“Your body has become very weak. I didn’t expect this.
Hmm… Okay.
Come on, spit it out.”
I had no choice but to put down the soaked piece on the tray.
My teeth were aching.
That fact made me depressed.
The fact that I was now truly unable to do anything on my own was so cruel.
“Ugh, ugh, ugh…”
I had no will to do anything anymore, not dreams, not magic.
What kind of life should I live in the future?
What will happen tomorrow?
I became unable to think such thoughts.
In my empty mind, only my mother was reflected.
Only her mother and the things she did were left.
Everything else was either too faint or too small.
“Shh, don’t be scared.
There are many ways to live.
Of course, there is the path of adventurers who pioneer their own path.
But although the road is gorgeous, it is too short to even be a road.
Someone loses his life while pioneering the path,
Someone, while paving the way, ends up becoming such a waste that he cannot even function as a human being.
Under the illusion that I could die bravely and leave a story behind,
Sometimes they leave their loved ones behind and drive nails into their hearts –
Is that really a beautiful life?”
I wanted to say no.
I wanted to walk that road at least once,
Why won’t you let me do that?
I, I… Didn’t want to live like this,
I wanted to cry like that.
“Russell, look at my breasts.
This heart, which was torn to pieces, shines so brightly thanks to you.
I feel more alive than ever before.
Thanks to you.”
But the lips that cover the mouth,
The spreading smile became a shackle on my heart.
The people who tried to harm my mother,
The image of humans hurting each other just to get their mother’s scales came to mind.
“I need you.
I will do anything cruel to catch you,
I can tell you that.
Even if it means earning your hate.
Even if it turns you into something that can no longer be called human.”
Mom licked the tears I shed with her long tongue.
When I cried, my mother swallowed it up.
As if it were a dish with an ecstatic taste, I licked it again and again –
“So, can you stop loving me now, Russell?”
A question I can’t say no to.
A desire that you don’t want but can’t refuse,
Mom was telling me to accept it.
“If I don’t get an answer, I’ll wait.
From this place, even until the end of this world.
Until you love me, I will teach you again and again.
Until I coil around that brain like a snake.
Swallow everything inside, until only I remain.”
“Ugh, ugh,”
“It’s been nine years.
After just one year, half of your life will be taken by me.
But remember.
The moment you are already with me, your life will not have the same length as other humans.
The ten years without me have become the tip of a speck, and soon it has become a very small dot on the paper.
Until it finally becomes so small that it cannot even be seen,
I will be by your side and repeat that I love you thousands of times.
Don’t look at your mother as a cruel and scary dragon.
If I just accept you as the woman who loves you,
I am more lovely and gentle than anyone else,
She will be a gentle wife.”
Looking again at his ears, which seemed to be shiny from having been licked so many times,
I caressed my cheeks, which were now so worn out that they looked like they were about to get chapped.
Mom sat on top of me in her chair.
“Ugh… Boo…”
The shaking hill of flesh swept away the tears.
Her mother’s scent, sweet as the pink medicine poured into her mouth,
Even now, with its non-sticky mouth, it tried to devour me with its unchanging sweetness.
“Face me, Russell.
There is no more place to leave.
I am the only one in your family,
I am the only one in this world who will risk my life to love.
No one will want to have you as much as I do.”
Lies are not mixed.
That’s why I hated it.
If you really loved me that much,
Couldn’t you have closed your eyes just once so that I could do what I wanted?
The fact that my happiness may come from somewhere other than my mother,
Couldn’t they have acknowledged it at least once?
…But,
Now it is over.
“Okay, I got it.
I understand, now…”
“What do you know?”
“Say, let’s go.”
I love you.
Not mom, not mom, not…”
“No, I don’t want to take it that way.
Crying and talking about love is never happy.”
While sitting on the chair, the space around me flew away in an instant.
The wind blew strong, and before I knew it, I was in my mother’s room instead of the kitchen.
The lifted body was thrown onto the bed.
Her mother’s eyes sparkled.
And, I… Didn’t cover myself.
All she did was raise her body and face her mother, who was wetting her tail.
“I told you, you would teach me?”
I surrendered myself to the thing that slowly soaked my body.
Raise your arms, the red love slipping in,
I quietly hugged him.
As I look at my mother, who now feels like nothing more than the scent of honey flowing from flowers.
“…Yes.”
I answered helplessly.
In my empty heart, only my mother remained.
