60 – Rosaria as a woman (2)
I don’t like it.
I have to say no.
I missed that time.
“Ugh, huh, huh…”
I don’t want to just be held by her mother like a doll, without even the power to say anything.
My body keeps liking it as it pleases.
“Are you using a little more force now?”
I have no choice but to write.
The inside of my body is too hot,
The skin is so cold it feels like it’s freezing.
It’s because her mother left her window open.
Her mother kept blowing the cold wind into her room again and again.
In order to avoid that, I had no choice but to keep going.
Into the wide, warm embrace of mother.
Under the wings that blocked the cold winter wind.
“Maybe it’s good…
There’s still time left until the fruit I want ripens, but I can’t believe I’ve already thrown away this rich, sweet flavor.
The time is set, but we just have to wait and prevent the bugs from attracting us.
It’s also cruel.”
Fruit? What kind of fruit… Are you talking about me?
Because he is tickling my chin and bringing his lips close to me.
“Does it really affect body fluids?
Otherwise, it wouldn’t have been possible like this.”
“What… Wh… What…”
As she regained her appetite, her mother spoke as if she was testing something.
Even if I try to think of its meaning with a heated head…
“It’s okay if you don’t worry too much.
For now, just focus on the sensations flowing through your body.”
“Ooh, uh-“
I was becoming resentful of my nose continuing to slide across my skin.
A spirit that feels like it will break.
I was being tormented exquisitely in a situation where darkness seemed as if it would cover my eyes at any moment.
“Now, you said you were going to sleep – “
“Then, you should sleep.
It was a dark night, Russell.
You should close your eyes and fall asleep comfortably in your mother’s arms… Why can’t you sleep, my baby?”
That reaction.
That face that keeps stroking your head and twisting the corners of your mouth.
Mom had no intention of letting me sleep like this.
As I continue to inhale the sweet smell that makes her nose tingle,
I just smile and watch my current state, where even my saliva is sticky like honey.
I couldn’t even find the thought of wanting to make me comfortable in those yellow eyes.
“Ugh, ugh, um, ugh, mom, please…”
So I hung on.
Somehow, while pressing down on my tingling brain,
As you swallow the strange scent that flows in without you having to inhale it, with your mouth instead of your nose,
No, maybe it’s the terrible smell my body is emitting now…
I managed to squeeze out a voice while relying on my mother’s hands and tail to keep my body from running wild.
“Just… Just…”
Even though I knew that there was no way that request could be reached,
Looking directly at me,
Constantly moving your hands busily,
To my mother who keeps grabbing her body to force out the sounds I’m trying to swallow,
I am like that –
“Which one do you mean?”
With just one whisper, I completely collapsed.
A drop of liquid flowed from the open mouth as if it was going to eat the ear.
As soon as it touched me, I…
I’m not sure what kind of sound came out of my mouth.
She could barely tell that her mother’s eyes had become so dangerous.
He was coming closer and closer, twisting the buttons on my clothes with his fingers.
Warmth.
***
“…That’s it for today.”
From Noble mtl dot com
Although she couldn’t see it, hot steam was flowing from between her open lips.
What next?
What did I expect to happen next, I…?
“Why didn’t you ask me to stop?”
If you apply just a little, just a little bit of force,
It definitely felt like something good was about to begin.
My mother must have given me something to cool my hot body…
But,
“It’s cute too.
But that’s it for today.
That’s what I decided.”
With the sound of snapping fingers, the surroundings began to appear clearly.
The wind that seemed to freeze my skin became just something ordinary,
Mother’s embrace, which only felt warm…
Something had changed.
“Are you very surprised, Russell?”
Caught, etc.
A hand that gently touches you.
Even though the sensations coming from them are clearly things I know,
The body was accepting it differently.
“That’s right, keep breathing in and out like that…
If you’re having a hard time, it’s okay to look forward a little.”
I could clearly feel something soft touching my forehead.
Was the body holding me this soft?
“Now, lift your chin.
Because it’s a cup filled with water… Now,”
Continuing to support the lightly lifted body,
As I felt comfortably wrapped in a blanket, my mother tried to give me water.
“Ugh, maybe I can’t give it any strength.
Russell, your clothes are getting wet?!”
Eh, ah.
I see.
The clothes I am wearing have become damp.
But, with a blank mind, it’s hard to think clearly about what’s going on…
“I guess dry mouth is a side effect.
I think I need to give him some water… But his eyes are blurry.
Not refined, yes.
It would be dangerous.”
I was at a point where I couldn’t properly understand my mother’s mumbling words.
Is it a concentrate, a tablet,
Ears that let difficult words pass by without being able to properly grasp them.
Should I say that it feels as if the events that happened in a dream are forgotten as time passes by.
I let go of the phrases I wanted to write just a moment ago…
“Now, don’t bite.”
Something cold touched my head, which felt like it was covered in fog.
Even though I was wearing a lot of clothes, I felt strangely cold and groped my body.
I felt like I realized that something had changed and there was a hole in it.
The coldness could be felt from the front.
“That’s right. Just keep drinking like that.”
There was something flowing from the corner of my mouth.
Something hot yet cold and soft that touches your tongue.
There was something in the mouth,
I… Suck it, ah?
“Eup, keek, kehek?!”
“Russell?!”
Water, it was water.
What is wetting my mouth is cold water.
And what was in your mouth just a moment ago… A finger?
“I should have noticed that I was drinking too quickly.
Come on, I’ll give you a pat on the back.”
Screaming from the pain in my nose,
On the other hand, while steadily observing the surroundings, which become clearer the more you look at them,
I slowly wiped away the water that flowed out of my mouth.
The strange sensation that had engulfed my body was slowly cooling down.
It was only then that my heart started beating like it was going to burst.
I barely realized that my body was drenched in sweat.
My tired ears were no longer able to properly pick up even my mother’s words.
Your eyes barely let you know that you are wiping your disheveled body with a wet towel.
…What did mom do to me?
***
“That’s strange. This book and that book both say that raw leaves are weak.”
Beside Russell, who was completely asleep, Rosaria continued to turn the pages of the book.
Three thick books holding the same content in the air,
And they were talking about the same flower.
Although the method of processing it was different for each writer,
Everyone was sure of one thing.
“…Does that mean that poor Russell doesn’t even have a single resistance…?”
The dragon’s reason was slowly crumbling.
Drenched in medication, her lost instincts are awakened little by little…
She felt the sticky hand that had been clinging to the woman in front of her, touching her skin,
I also cherished that as a definite mark.
With human power, even though he is a dragon in human form…
Nevertheless, the fact that she grabbed her arm so hard that it left a red mark.
It became the ember of the dragon’s furnace that went out.
“Maybe it’s good, what should I do…
If this is all it takes,
At that ‘time’ – huh?!”
Making the gear’s tail stiff,
The woman who should have been elegant rolled down on her floor in an ugly manner.
However, rather than a frown due to pain, the face
There were strangely melted mouths and eyes.
Everyone was trying to smile, but it seemed like it wasn’t going their way.
“Russell, my Russell, my own, my own…”
Mumbling like that, she softened her pain and swallowed it.
The pain, despair, sadness, anger, jealousy and resentment of the past have all disappeared like melting snow.
It was only one night.
I only held my child in my arms for one night –
“Oh…?”
– Despite the expectations,
Despite being a magical space, the sky was turning purple.
The horizon visible beyond the room’s open window slowly and instantly began to turn red.
“Lies, words.”
In that way, Rosaria had passed the dawn and was welcoming morning.
Her orange lines were about to appear in the eyes of the child who had just fallen asleep.
– Tak.
Even with her window closed, she could not easily accept what had happened.
She couldn’t acknowledge the time that had passed.
“Of course, even if I can’t… No, but –
The child grew up together for six years.
And the time I left…”
Counting her hands, Rosaria continued to try to somehow make sense of the shattered reality.
While denying that a hill has already built up at the bottom of the inverted hourglass –
For a long time, she sat on the floor and looked back on the moments that had passed away.
“…How, no.
Six years can never feel this short…”
The red dragon, with his brilliant mind, looked at the conclusion in vain.
It was only six years that made me forget about the unfortunate days of the past.
However, the long period of time that made her lose that happiness and caused pain that seemed to pierce her heart,
Not a year, not even a month,
In the long period of six years,
Compared to her own age, it was too shameful and worse than the tip of a tee.
And the brief happiness I have tasted now…
“It’s not fair.”
It wasn’t enough to make her forget the tip of her head.
Even though it is much deeper than six years of happiness,
Even though she got more boys than ever before,
Even though it made her pure eyes become clouded with desire,
“…This kind of thing is shameful.”
She ground her teeth like that.
