14 – Resolution
My mother, who hugged me and couldn’t properly erase the tear stains,
With your tail wrapped around both my feet –
She covered me with her wings and fell asleep.
The sound of light breathing tickled my ears and scratched my insides while I was still awake.
The stories my mother told were not ones that could be easily believed.
But, the words she shed to me with tears were too much to be considered lies…
“Huh-“
The frequency of sighing was becoming more frequent.
The bigger I got, the more things I didn’t know.
I thought I would be able to know more things when she grows up, when she is similar in height to her mother.
I still had to contend with countless questions.
“…Am I having trouble sleeping?”
A voice suddenly came along with the sensation of gently brushing my bangs.
Mom smiled as she tickled my leg little by little with her tail.
Did I just wake up to a sigh?
When he opened his eyes, he was still friendly.
The grandmother in my blurry memories… Did she hit honey chestnuts once?
“No, it’s just… I should say it’s a little hot – “
I took a break because I needed some time to think.
Or perhaps she brought it up because she was afraid that if she hinted that she would rather be alone, he might not make room for her…
“Then how about now?”
Mom opened the window instead to let the cool breeze blow in.
And then,
“Instead, I want you to hug me a little more.”
It emits a soft touch and scent, gradually narrowing the distance further.
It’s as if he won’t even tolerate any remaining gaps.
“Answer, I’m frustrated…”
“You can’t help it. The night air is so cold, but you say it’s hot.”
The force of smiling brightly and hugging me was too strong,
I felt bad again.
So… How should I explain it?
The catch place was somehow not good.
In the past, I would carefully embrace it with my wings and arms, as if creating a warm cave.
Now it was holding me tightly with its tail and hands, and kept groping my chest.
Every time something warm touches the back of my neck, my body starts to tremble –
It may be a little difficult to say this, but
Mom was getting strange.
“Then… Can’t I sleep alone today?”
But there was no way I could say that directly.
That’s why I meant to spread some distance for a while.
He moved away from the face that was too close and turned his head to face the cool air.
“…Huh?”
It was, quite simply, blocked by the twitching yellow eyes.
“Oh, no – “
I was just about to give up because of this.
I got caught again.
“…Do you hate me, Russell?”
One very simple sentence.
However, a word that is never taken lightly.
Very heavy emotions emanate from my mother,
They grabbed me and dragged me down so that I couldn’t move at all.
“Do you hate me like this?”
It was an instant before my shoulders became wet.
My arms are being crushed and crushed,
The tail wrapped around my leg tightening around me like a snake,
It all happened in one moment.
“Oh, no, that’s what I meant – “
“I killed people.
Too many people.
Is that why it is like that?”
But it didn’t take long for it to be resolved.
The strong hand that grabbed me,
The tail that crawled along the skin.
It disappeared before I knew it.
“Am I still unacceptable to you, Russell?”
“Uh, mom…”
His face was so pale,
I was trembling with fear.
So I just looked at that scene, not knowing what to do.
“…I shouldn’t have told you.
I’d rather show you like this – “
The tail, which was always wagging, became completely droopy at once, and was dragged across the floor.
The wings, which had always fluttered energetically, were fluttering carelessly, unable to cover my mother’s lonely back.
Her horns had darkened to black, and the usual subtle red glow was nowhere to be seen.
“Oh – “
So, she hurriedly grabbed her mother who was about to leave.
I blocked her hand that was holding the doorknob and tried to make eye contact with her dark eyes.
Just like the yellow light that always looked at me.
“No, Mom. That’s not what I meant. I mean…”
But that seemed not enough.
It was my mother who glanced at me, but her hand holding the door had no intention of letting go.
“So, these days – ugh…”
However, it was not possible to reveal the truth as it was.
If you say it’s burdensome,
If your mom doesn’t like the way you hug these days –
Obviously, he will be even more depressed than he is now.
So.
“…Come here.”
I just closed my eyes tightly and opened my arms wide.
Open her chest and arms as much as possible.
“Eh?”
My hand stopped as I tried to wipe away the tears I shed,
The body that seemed ready to open the door and disappear at any moment turned towards me.
“She never said she didn’t like her mom.
She didn’t do anything wrong, so why would I hate her?”
Slowly, very slowly.
The hands and tail steadily wrapped themselves around my body.
As expected, it was uncomfortable to be so blatantly attached and groped…
But if this calms you down –
“Do you still love me?”
One question was asked again before I could make up my mind.
From my mother tickling my ear with her hot breath,
In a soft voice that slowly caresses your back and lets out a shallow laugh,
I felt an unknown fear.
It was still my mother sniffling her nose and wiping her tears on my back…
Nevertheless, the feeling of caressing me was somehow unsettling.
“Why would I hate my mom?”
“No, not that.
That’s an answer I’ve heard before.”
It was the best answer I could give.
It was so easily blocked.
By emotions that stir and boil over.
Grabbing my back, tickling my earlobes,
Something that makes the tail that coils between the legs move,
It was squirming inside my mother.
Slightly increase the distance from your arms,
That yellow, dark, slimy thing looking down into my eyes –
“Aren’t you asking me if you love me, Russell?”
I was never a ‘mother’.
This is not the Dracea Rosaria I knew before.
I felt like I could talk.
***
What should I do?
There was no way I didn’t know the meaning of the word ‘I love you’.
The look of my mother returning with a satisfied smile to the answer she gave with a smile…
But mom, mom.
He raised me and took care of me.
I will never be the kind of person capable of ‘love’.
Even if there wasn’t a drop of blood… I,
No matter how beautiful, strong, and elegant the dragon is –
“Whoa…”
Instead of falling asleep, I ran away.
The sore ankle was clearly showing red marks.
…I thought that perhaps this act of wrapping one’s tail around might not have a simple meaning.
In particular, it was not easy to explain that he was holding on so strongly to him simply because he cared for him as a son.
What should I do?
I slowly got up from the bed, opened the bound magic book, and calmly read what I had written.
Relying on the moonlight streaming in from the window.
As I felt my heart and mind being carefully organized, I finally made up my mind.
It’s time to let go of your relationship with your mother.
So, I picked up a pen and began to gently write letters on the blank paper.
A farewell that may be short or long.
…A little earlier than I thought,
From Noble mtl dot com
But maybe it was too late.
I didn’t think I could rely on it forever.
At the same time, you have to pay a price for the grace you received.
I thought so.
The reason I was able to survive as a child who couldn’t even make a fire properly was because
No matter how much my mom says I owe her…
That was a fire lit by the power of Dracea Rosaria, not me.
For this reason, I tried hard to deny what my mother asked me to do,
I think I’m doing it ‘because I want to’.
I made a firm resolution in my heart.
If you were going to leave, now was the time.
Although there were only about ten magics that could be used properly, and most of them were fire…
Nevertheless, there were spells that I practiced and were not far from completing.
I scribbled and erased countless times in the back of the book.
The messily written and drawn orders were proof of my efforts.
…My own small and firm resolution to pay off this debt someday.
Thinking about where to put the completed letter,
I opened the door and looked at the endless hallway.
One huge spell to devour intruders.
However, it is like a huge labyrinth where even those who live there may get lost.
I was about to walk alone in this place where I always walked while holding my mother’s hand.
…It was something that had to be done.
If I want to achieve what I want, I must go through it.
Now to return her favor to her mother,
And a trip to ask ‘Mom’.
If I told you, there was no way I could get permission.
If you make me swear on my name again,
If tears and sadness blocked me, there was no way I could overcome it.
That’s why I took a reckless step.
Suddenly, the closed door was indistinguishable from the others.
…In other words, he was saying that he could not return.
At the same time, my mother’s red door was in front of me.
As if you could come in anytime.
But if you step in, this will be your goodbye to the outside world forever.
I am caught in her grasp, and I will never be able to escape from her embrace.
That’s why I left only my letter with it.
The folded paper was placed on the floor in front of the door and pressed down with a small black weight.
Then she turned her head and took a step forward.
The hallway of the mansion, illuminated only by the occasional moonlight, was eerily quiet.
…Except for the occasional, unknown sound echoing.
A sharp and terrible sound, like scraping iron.
